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Total Drama World Tour: Staring Generation Three!

Yesterday, I made a post about the Revenge cast in Action, so now it’s time for the Pahkitew cast in World Tour, with Sierra and Alejandro joining them. To get one thing out of the way, Sierra and Alejandro are here because without them, the cast would be to small. Also, they joined as newbies in World Tour, and here, everyone is a newbie, so Sierra and Alejandro are gen 3 in this universe. Anyway, let’s get started.
Episode 1: Chris introduces the new cast, and also the new gimmick, singing. Reactions were mixed about this, Sierra, Topher and Ella thought it was a great idea, Jasmine, Dave, and Max were just annoyed, and others were just indifferent. The first challenge was located in Egypt, where they could choose to climb over, or go through a Pyramid. Nobody quits because there isn’t enough people. At the end, Chris announced that there were three teams this season, and he was to lazy to make names, so the contestants had to do it. The teams were dubbed...
The Dastardly Evil Masterminds: Shawn, Topher, Max, Jasmine, Sky, and Scarlett.
The Marvelous Magicians: Dave, Leonard, Beardo, Alejandro, and Sierra.
The Midwestern Actresses: Sugar, Amy, Sammy, Ella, and Rodney.
Song: Come Fly With Us
Episode 2: The episode began after the teams were formed, they each got prizes for a camel race. The Actresses won a camel, the Magicians won a goat, and the Masterminds were stuck with a stick. Suddenly, they all had to run away from a swarm of bugs, and make it to the Nile River while doing it. The teams had to weave a basket big enough to support the weight of the team members, and their prize. Sierra was really good with a weave, while the masterminds, having a lot of smart people, were good too. The Actresses were a lost cause, having there boat being completely awful, but thankfully for them.
17th, Max: He has a new invention that could turn animals evil. He used it on a Crocodile, thinking it would attack the other team, but it went crazy, destroying all the boats, and the Masterminds were the team that came last. He was shocked to be voted off, and clinger onto the plane when he was tossed out, and climbed into the cargo hold.
Song: Running Time
Episode 3: Chris said the next challenge would be in Japan, Scarlett started complaining that the outfit was actually Chinese, so chef cut the door open, which we sucked all the teams out the door, falling to the ground. Luckily, they landed in a big bowl of rice, and Alejandro complimented on her smarts, but she didn’t fall for his charms. The challenge was to make a commercial for Chef’s new food. Scarlett has a basic understanding of commercials, and Topher was a good actor, it came as a shock to nobody when they won first class. Leonard was annoying Dave with his LARPing, and Alejandro took this as an opportunity to mess with him. He told Leonard that his skills with leading parties and such could make him a great team leader, he accepted this challenge, and took it upon himself to lead the team. He did horribly, and the Magicians were going to lose, until...
16th, Sugar: A certain redhead stole the footage for the Actresses commercial, and corrupted it, they had the worst commercial, and Amy blamed the loss on Sugar. Leonard was celebrating the victory, but Dave intimidated him, saying that if it wasn’t for the corruption, he would be gone, and he should quit LARPing.
Song: Before We Die
Episode 4: The Juno Jet landed in the freezing winters of the Yukon, teams had to jump across ice flows to pull a sled to victory. Jasmine pulled the sled for the Masterminds, Dave also tries attracting Sky, which she’s flattered by. Beardo also becomes more social, and Ella and Sammy form a friendship. Leonard has to pull his sled, and didn’t try to use magic, he still came last, but the Actresses are missing a member.
15th, Rodney: His tongue was stuck to a pole, and the Actresses couldn’t find him. He tried to say he was tricked, but was pushed out. Scarlett stood behind a pillar smirking, revealing that she was the one who did this.
Song: Country Love
Episode 5: The challenge took place in New York, they had to climb the Statue of Liberty to get a baby carriage, Amy was excited to sing in New York, but Ella was a bit more focused on her bullying. Alejandro also started playing Sierra, telling her to talk about embarrassing things Chris did, which got him mad. Topher also lost a bit of respect he had for him. The challenge was also the first reward challenge, and nobody was sent home.
Song: What’s Not To Love?
Episode 6: The first aftermath. Like last time, the couples of last season were the host every episode. This episode was with Lightning and Anne Maria as hosts, both being stupid, they weren’t very good. Also, there was a new segment called total Drama fugitives, where an eliminated contestants was missing, that contestant being Max.
Peanut Gallery: Whiskers, Keith, Jose, Chef (Topher’s cat)
Interviews: Sugar, and Rodney.
Song: Cap-try Style
Episode 7: Contestants were dropped into a massive pile of snow, where they had to be quiet and sing. Alejandro started telling Amy to “Seize the day” which she knew exactly what that meant. Scarlett took notice of this. The seconded part of the challenge was to shove meat into a meat grinder, which disgusted Dave. Speaking of Dave, him and Beardo has become good friends at this point, though he still hated Leonard, even though he was becoming a somewhat normal person. The final part of the challenge was a German Slap-off, which Jasmine dominated in, being much stronger than everyone else.
Xth, Amy: Scarlett started taunting her on the platform, which she go annoyed by, and threw her and herself off the platform. She beat her up so bad she nocked a tooth out. She cost the team the challenge, and Sammy and Ella celebrated having such a menace gone. Alejandro started talking to Scarlett about what she did, but she said she knows that he’s evil.
Song: German Slap-off!
Episode 8: The teams were dropped off at the Amazon, and Chris said that he had a special announcement. The Actresses were going to merge with the other teams, Sammy was going on the Masterminds, while Ella was going to the Magicians. Jasmine started leading the team around the jungle, and was impressed when Shawn knew a lot about forests, forming a quick friendship. Leonard tried to lead the team, but ended up getting them captured by the Zing Zings. Luckily, Beardo managed to scare them off with his sound effects, but they were at a massive disadvantage. The Masterminds won, and Leonard was going to be voted off, but it was announced to be a reward challenge.
Song: It’s All Your Fault!
Episode 9: Paris, the place of art, and love. Leonard was upset that Dave was so mean to him, and Beardo wanted him to apologize. Alejandro defended him though, saying he could think what he wants, if he was going to dig his own grave, so be it. Sammy and Topher started to fall for each other, and Shawn started falling for Jasmine after realizing how wicked cool she was. The Masterminds found there prices really fast, and to ensure such a victory...
14th, Leonard: Scarlett pushes down the Magician’s statue and blamed it on Leonard, he tried to defend himself, but Dave has already made up his mind, and was glad to be gone of such an annoyance.
Song: Oui, My Friends
Episode 10: Why did they land in the middle of the ocean? To have the next challenge of course! Contestants had to race boats to the eastern shore. Alejandro and Scarlett rivalry was starting to get really high, and Alejandro was trying to play Ella, while Dave was trying to impress Sky, and Beardo was encouraging him. The seconded part was a challenge where they had to do very odd tasks. The last part was kissing a cod. Beardo told Dave to imagine he was kissing Sky, and he forgot all about how gross it was, while Shawn did the same thing, but for Jasmine. Jasmine has also taken notice off Sammy’s crush on Topher, and was trying to get them together. In honor of Chris being in his homeland, he made it a reward challenge, and nobody was sent home.
Song: Sea Shanty
Episode 11: The Jumbo Jet has crashed in the deserts of Jamaica, and one contestant had been very injured. The show had to go on though, and a challenge had begun. Contestants had to dive off a cliff into waters filled with sharks. Alejandro ended up grabbing the gold, but Scarlett stole it. The seconded part was to skateboard through a very dangerous obstacle course. The Masterminds has more physically dominate players, but the Magicians just edged it out.
13th/12th, Dave and Sky: Dave was the contestant injured by the Jumbo Jet, and had to be removed from the game. Sky and Beardo were very upset about this, but Alejandro worked his Magic to get Sky distracted, and lose the challenge.
Song: Watch The Fang!
Episode 12: The seconded aftermath. Despite not being a couple, Brick and Jo were instructed by the network to host the aftermath, as their fighting would real in money. Why did they need money? To repair the Jumbo Jet, the aftermath hosted a telethon to gain funds for the season again. There was many things going on, like Sky, Dave and Keith Drama, why Leonard LARPs, Amy joining the fugitives party, and how Jo singing in a dress in hilarious.
Song: Save This Show
Interviews: Leonard, Sky, and Dave.
Episode 13: Alejandro suddenly went missing, which Chris pretended didn’t happen. The teams were dropped off in London, and had to an advanced version of the psycho killer challenge. The teams had to solve riddles to find out were Jack the Ripper was hiding, while the Ripper was hunting them down. Jasmine and Shawn formed an amazing team together, while Beardo, Ella, and Sierra were becoming the next team E-scope. In the end, Jasmine and Shawn caught the real killer, while diet team E-scope caught a fraud. That fraud was actually Amy, which the others were shocked by, sense she was here, Chris said she could rejoin the game in staid if Max. When questioned about Max, Chris reveled who the Ripper really was, a feral Max, who had turned green and was losing hair. He was tossed back out, but he clung onto the wing again.
11th, Sammy: Scarlett told Amy that she was going to be voted out. Amy started panicking and begged her for a solution, Scarlett said she would give one as long as she joined in on her alliance. She agreed, and Scarlett suggested a switch. She disguised herself as Sammy, and Sammy tried to warn them, but was pushed out before she could say anything.
Song: Strip Them Down
Episode 14: The teens were going to compete in some Olympic event, and they almost landed in the wrong place, but was fixed thanks to Scarlett, Jasmine, and Alejandro. It came down to the tiebreaker, and Alejandro noticed something odd with Shawn, and riled him to tell everyone what he knows. He said that he saw Topher and Amy kiss, and apparently, Topher has no idea Sammy was gone, but Jasmine was too made to listen, and told Topher that she was going to beat him like a kangaroo. At the elimination ceremony, Topher was going to be eliminated, but Chris didn’t want to eliminate him with all the drama going on, so he got to play another day.
Song: Greek Trickery
Episode 15: In one of the most dangerous challenges yet, the teens had to raid area51, and steal an alien artifact. Jasmine started comforting Shawn when he started freaking out about conspiracy theories, and Topher tried his hardest to win, knowing he was going to be eliminated. Ella’s singing and Beardo’s beatboxing were enough to distract the aliens, however...
10th, Sierra: She stepped on a mine while running with the artifact, and it gets destroyed. Alejandro suggests voting her off to put her out of her misery, and Beardo and Ella don’t want to do it, but they had to.
Song: Cheating Boyfriend
Episode 16: Jasmine was excited to visit her home town Australia. Shawn took it upon himself to try impressing her about being good with the challenge. While the other team was good with animals, Jasmine absolutely crushed them, and they had to send someone packing.
9th, Beardo: Scarlett thew a dingo at him, which made him dizzy. When it came to voting, Ella voted for Alejandro, Alejandro votes for Beardo, and Beardo was so dizzy he accidentally voted for himself.
Song: Native Rock
Episode 17: The third ice challenge of the season. The two teams had to build a boat, and battle Viking style, the first ship to sink would lose. Topher was starting to get more saddened by Sammy leaving, while Shawn, a sort-of-friend of Topher’s, tried helping him out. In the end, The Magicians finally won a challenge, with Alejandro carrying them, as Ella was completely against violence. It was completely pointless anyway, as it was a reward challenge, and many have speculated that the challenge was just filler.
Song: We Built Sam’s Face
Episode 18: One of the most important aftermaths. Mike and Zoey hosted this time, and they put on a game show in which an eliminated contestant, or member of the Peanut Gallery would join the game.
Song: His Real Name Isn’t Beardo
Winner: Jose
Interviews: Sammy, Sierra, and Beardo.
Episode 19: The contestants were woken up falling into Niagara Falls, they had to rapidly save themselves. Topher got the adrenaline to save them after Amy said that if they lived, she would admit that Samey is better than her. Chris took the survivors to a casino, Amy was excited to gamble, but was disappointed to find themselves on a show stage. Chris announced that a new contestant would be joining the game, and Alejandro paled when he found out it was his brother Jose. Everyone was charmed by his looks, even the guys. Chris then said that they were gonna have some arranged marriages, and the guys were put into a slot machine, and the girls would have to gamble to see who they would get. The pairs were: Shawn and Jasmine, Alejandro and Scarlett, Topher and Amy, and Jose and Ella. The grooms had to guide their wives threw an optical course to get a dress, everyone succeeded. The grooms then had to carry their wife across a tight rope to get to America. Alejandro took the time to confront Scarlett about the eliminations she caused, while Scarlett counters with the eliminations he caused, they end up fighting, and falling off. Jose also stole Ella’s heart. While Topher and Amy fought a lot. In the end, Shawn and Jasmine has the most chemistry, and won. Shawn also asked Jasmine out, and she accepted, they were now a couple.
Winners: Shawn and Jasmine
8th, Amy: Topher pretty much begged the others to help him vote out Amy, being a jerk, they accepted to voting her out. She gave a warning about Scarlett before leaving though.
Song: Spainerific
Episode 20: Scarlett knew she was in trouble, so Alejandro tried to form an alliance with him. She refused, saying she could do things on her own. Jose has started to blackmail Alejandro though, and made him help with the challenge. However, they both failed in the eating challenge, and even though her stomach wasn’t that good, Scarlett managed to beat Shawn in the eating challenge.
Winner: Scarlett
7th/6th, Jose and Ella: Alejandro ended up being the one to crawl to Scarlett, and asked her to help him vote out Jose, Scarlett agreed, as long as he was her slave for the rest of the game. Shawn votes for Jose because he was getting jealous of him attracting Jasmine, Jasmine, Topher, and Jose voted for Ella do to being annoying, and Ella voted for Jasmine because Jose told her to. The producers were breathing down Chris’s neck, so he kicked them both out of the plane to save costs.
Song: Chinese Lesson
Episode 21: The contestants were taken to the scorching hot deserts of Africa, were they had to hunt down a completely Feral Max. Scarlett has Alejandro helping her, but her stood up for himself and cursed at her in Spanish. Shawn and Jasmine excelled in this challenge, but Shawn let her have the win. After everything he went through, Max still didn’t learn, and crawled back onto the plane.
Winner: Jasmine
5th, Topher: Scarlett talked to Shawn and Jasmine, and told them that Topher had to go, saying that him and Alejandro would team up and take them down if she was gone, they didn’t want to vote out there friend, but Scarlett’s words were just to convincing. Jasmine later beat herself up over it for falling for her schemes.
Song: Wake Up
Episode 22: The not really campers were dropped off at Easter Island, and had to do an egg hunt. There were statues of the eliminated contestants around, and when Alejandro questioned it, Chris pretty much told him to shut up. When everyone had gathered their eggs, they had to deliver it back to the mother Condor. Shawn won because it was as easy as climbing trees.
Winner: Shawn
Song: Condor
Episode 23: The final four landed in drumheller, they had to find bones to make a dinosaur. In the end, Shawn’s weird poop Dino won. Later, they had to retrieve buried cans of oil. Again, Shawn won, and Scarlett and Alejandro teamed up to take out Jasmine.
Winner: Shawn
4th, Shawn: Scarlett was going to be eliminated, but Shawn stopped the ceremony with a cake to celebrate him and Jasmine’s one weak anniversary. Unfortunately for him, they candles created a bunch of sparks, and fell into the oil puddle below him. It caused an explosion, which blew up the Jumbo Jet, in a fit of rage, Chris disqualified him from the game.
Song: This Is How We Will End It
Episode 24: The final aftermath. This time, it was set in a different location, Hawaii. Sam and Dakota were the hosts, and had a competition to see who would get an advantage in the finale. Sammy was representing for Jasmine, Jose for Alejandro, and Amy for Scarlett. In the end, Jasmine won a baby carriage, Alejondro won a wealbaroal, Scarlett got squat.
Interviews: Amy, Ella, Jose, and Topher.
Songs: Who Ya Gonna Root For?, and Hawaiian style.
Episode 25: The episode opened up with the aftermath of the explosion. Chris declares that the next challenge was immediately starting. Scarlett came at Alejandro, saying he was a traitor for voting her off, but Alejandro didn’t care. Shawn helped Jasmine get to the finish, and Scarlett created a monster from the remains of the Jumbo Jet. At the end, Alejandro won a spot in the finale, but Jasmine and Scarlett tied.
Winner: Alejandro
Song: I’m Gonna Make It
Episode 26: The episode was live, and Alejandro got to pick the tiebreaker, on who got to be with him. The challenge was a duel, and Jasmine was confident in her win, but Scarlett went crazy, and threw Jasmine into the water, getting her into the final challenge.
3rd, Jasmine: She lost the tiebreaker.
The two finalists got helpers to preform the challenge, Scarlett chose Amy and Jose, while Alejandro chose Shawn and Jasmine. The two races up the volcano, and Alejandro was going to win, when Scarlett started playing dumb. She said she liked him, but actually kicked him in the kiwis, and sent him flying down the mountain. She said that she never liked him anyway, and that he was an idiot for believing the facade. Before a prize could be given to the winner, Max came up from behind, stole the case, and fell into the volcano. It erupted, and the teens had to run for their lives, and Chris ended off the season.
Winner: You chose.
Song: Versus
Anyway, you may have noticed that some of this was similar to World Tour, but the Pahkitew cast doesn’t have much depth to them, shocker, I know. If there is anything you would change, please let me know, as any advice if greatly appreciated, and whose ending do you prefer?
submitted by Shronut to Totaldrama [link] [comments]

Swagbucks: List of common links for search wins and collectors bills hits! (Updated)

Below is a list of links taken directly from Swagbucks' Twitter feed. When they have ispy code days or announce a new set of collector's bills, I click the link then copy and paste the URL in the list below. The search terms in parenthesis are just to help keep track of where you are in the list as you are clicking the links until you get a search win.
The idea came from one of these links posted in a facebook group - because everyone noticed it had a higher chance of getting a search win every single day. So I made a list of the links and I'm continuing to add to it.
Advice: Right click and choose "open in new tab/window" to keep the list up. If you get a duplicate collectors bill you do not need - do not claim it (enter the captcha). You should get a different collector's bill fairly shortly afterwards.
submitted by mwpswag to SwagBucks [link] [comments]

Slaughter Theatre Part Two

I looked at the man with unwilling disdain, he was hardly the most approachable character. In the background I could see staff miserably toiling, the sun was hot, and the men looked dirty and overworked.
'So...' Fortyn Kildare insisted, 'Like I said. All the information about the murder was provided at the time. What exactly are you hoping to dig up now??'
‘Well there’s nothing TO dig up’ I smiled, ‘The body was dumped in plain sight. I don’t really need any information about the death Mr Kildare. Have you had anyone suspicious working on your staff in the past two years?’ ‘As I told the bloody cops—’ Fortyn cursed; ‘Every cunt that works here is suspect. We’re working twelve hour days here Mr investigator. Don’t suspect you know what this kind of work is like, but this isn’t exactly the best job out there. We attract all kinds here.’
I had to squint temporarily from the glare of the sun bouncing off a metal girder.
‘Don’t you have some kind of a union Mr Kildare?’. Fortyn glared menacingly, then leant over to speak more softly; ‘Too right we do. Matter of fact, there’s been a lot of action lately. Just like the old days you know. Well, they’re trying to pull a shifty on the working class again.’ ‘Oh yeah, really?’ I prompted. ‘Damn straight it is…Ever since Howard’s work choices, these new contractual cheats, you can sign a form that agrees to just about anything. They’ve got fake companies set up to take care of the unions, and we’re all working twelve hours. If you complain they’ll send you off site, or sack you. My great, great grandfather was there at the rallies— back in 1856 —when the Stonemasons won the eight hour day you know. They think they can pull the wool over our eyes, but we’re regrouping. Just like the old days, down at the docks. In the casino’s. The Unions are coming back. You better fuckin’ believe it—— What’s wrong with that eh?’
I could see that Fortyn Kildare was not going to be particularly helpful, and his tangent interests showed pretty clearly that he knew absolutely nothing about the murder. I didn’t want to waste my ten minutes, before Pex escorted from the premises, but I asked Kildare one last question for good measure, ‘Have you ever heard about Slaughter Theatre— Mr Kildare?’ The ocker man almost spat the words ‘NO!’ at me, and I quickly consoled the impatient mullet donning gruff that I wasn’t going to take up any more of his time; ‘Thanks for your help’.
I walked slowly in a maudlin fashion back towards the front fences, as other tradies had begun hollering and leering at me….trudging over dirt and loose stones. I couldn’t think of much else to look at, the exhausted workers around me didn’t seem worth bothering. My own inner monologue was echoing the sentiment expressed by Drendyl Pex— that this pursuit was little more than a wild donkey chase. A mad conspiracy theory. Nonetheless, what Pex had said about the two crimes displaying traits of a potential serial killer had got me thinking, and I realised I needed to get home and do some more research on the press surrounding the Alice Goddard murder.
As I was walking out the gate, I noticed the receptionist, (who was apparently not a receptionist) smoking a cigarette out on the street, and my sleuth’s intuition told me it was worth staying for one last round of questioning. I approached her calmly. ‘Let me guess, Vogue menthol thins.’ The woman turned, breathing out smoke and pouting, the thin white cigarette in her hand fell down to her side; ‘How did you guess?’ She asked. ‘Ex smokers hunch.’ I replied, ‘I have a sixth sense when it comes to horoscopes and cigarette brands. It comes with constant investigation. You get to know people’s types.’ ‘Is that right?’ The woman responded amused but cynical, ‘What star sign am I then?’ ‘Judging from what i’ve seen of you’ I said thoughtfully, ‘I’d say Gemini, there’s more to you than there seems.’ The woman raised her eyebrow, partially impressed; “May twenty. Just off the mark Mr Dronefire. But you were close. My mother always told me I was a cusp Taurus.’ ‘Ms Weabley isn’t it?’ I checked. ‘Lisa’ she replied, holding out her hand in an informal re-greeting. ‘Mr Pex tells me you work in occupational health and safety here. So you must have a pretty good handle on what’s occurred on and off this site.’ ‘Listen Mr Dronefire, you really ought to speak to Mr Pex in regards to—‘ ’Mr Pex told me I could speak to you, I assure you, this place is not under investigation. Actually I was just wondering if you’d ever seen a film crew working on the site. Maybe a stupid question.’ ‘Huh?’, Lisa changed her tone drastically, ’Now…. why would you ask that?’ ‘I’m trying to track down someone who may have shot a video here.’ I continued, ‘You have had a film crew here then?’
‘Yes. I mean…’ Ms Weabley stuttered and thought for a moment, she had a strangely compelling face, especially when deep in thought, mousey blond hair falling over her creased forehead… ‘We do promotional marketing. Social media videos.. and….’ ‘—Would you have had any film crew in the yards any time near July last year?’ I asked. ‘Yes.’ Lisa replied anxiously, ‘We were particularly active mid last year, then it slowed down, didn’t film anything September till Christmas.’ ‘Do you have a regularly production crew you work with?’ ‘Not right now….No…but…’ Lisa contemplated it, ‘We did have a specific crew back then. Sure. Hey… I can send you the production call sheet with the contacts of everyone who worked on those jobs, will that help?’ ‘Brilliant, yes. Thank you Ms Weabley.’ We exchanged contact details and I returned to my car, shortly I was back in the air conditioning of my Valiant Charger, on the road for an afternoon drink in Fitzroy. I had a taste for that rum Mr Pex had given me, and managed to track one down at the old rum house, Gunnery white spiced. Seven rums later and the investigation had pleasantly left my mind.
Dreams of falling men in suits, alien flowers and twisting vines tangled in a web. Monday morning and my paranoia was back in full force, when the email from Lisa Weabley showed up in my inbox.
The call sheet Ms Weabley sent was amateurish and brief, but it did give me a list of people to call.
I spent that morning dialling numbers. There was no director listed, which I found marginally strange. The cameraman, Mark Virafi must have changed his number in the past year, because the number listed on the call sheet had a disconnected Telstra message, or it was bad data entry. Next on the list was an editor, by the name of Lumborg Hames. I didn’t get through the first or second time I called. Left a bunch of voice mail messages and texts, and finally got a call back around lunch time. He was a very softly spoken guy, definitely your introverted, creative type. I told him a simple version of my background to the case, and he agreed to meet up for a chat in a Richmond cafe. He lived on Gwynne St in Cremorne, down towards the water. From my understanding it was only a short distance from Stephenson Street where notorious criminal Dennis Allen once lived.
I met with Lumborg Hames on Tuesday. I was sitting in the Red Dog cafe, and i’d grown starving before Mr Hames arrived, so I ordered a big breakfast. When Lumborg arrived I was hoeing into a bacon and hash brown sandwich covered in baked beans. Mr Hames stood awkwardly around for a while, looking back and forth nervously until I noticed him and called out; ‘Mr Hames?’.
He was a big guy, very wide in girth, having what some might describe as a ‘neck beard’, a fluffy coating over numerous chins, and his beady-but-kind eyes looked out of round glasses. He was wearing the sort of cheesy comedy T-shirt you might have found at Granny May’s in the nineties, text said something dumb like ‘Whatever you want. The answer is NO’. Lumborg nervously sat in front of me, and I apologised for ordering before he arrived, but he told me in his wafting soft voice that he had already eaten. When the waitress came over he ordered a coffee, and I followed his lead. ‘Thanks for coming Mr Hames, I do appreciate you giving me your time. I know you're probably a busy editor.’ ‘Not really’ Lumborg confessed, almost too candidly, ‘I work freelance, between jobs at the moment, so…..i’ve got time.’ There was an awkward silence, where I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to feign empathy, or just pretend like his job insecurity was normal. Luckily Lumborg quickly broke the silence; ‘Sooo…. You want to know about when I was working at the Three Vertice construction company I guess?’ ’Sort of…’ I replied, not even a hundred percent sure what I was doing myself here yet;
‘But first… humour me… Have you ever heard of something called ‘Slaughter Theatre’ Mr Hames?’ The robust and timid man, suddenly perked up in his seat, his large belly almost jiggling somewhat, ‘Ha… well I didn’t think this chat would get so interesting so quickly. Sure, I know about the trilogy. I work in production, it’s like workers lore.’ ‘You think it’s real?’ I asked directly, feeling my way into Mr Hames psychological profile. ‘Pssssh…No.’ Hames said, ‘If only. No……i’ve never seen any of the alleged footage if that’s what you’re asking. Although i’ve heard plenty of rumours,…worked with people who claim to have seen it…worked on it….’ ‘Interesting. When you were working at Three Vertice construction company did anyone mention Slaughter Theatre?’ I continued... ‘Huh?’ Hames looked at me curiously, ‘Funny you should ask that. Well…first up.. I should tell you, I never actually went to Three Vertice Construction yards.' 'What?' 'I was working on editing some test filming they were doing, that much is true. But everything I did was based out of Hapless Creative Studios in Brunswick. That’s the production company who outsourced freelance editors for the Three Vertice job. I mean, I saw a lot of the construction yards, I watched the same footage about a million times over, you know. But physically I never set foot there.’ ‘Right,’ I said, not having considered this, ‘But you were in contact with other production staff? You must have dealt with Mark Virafi, the cameraman, at least…. i’m guessing?’ ‘Oh sure. Mark came in all the time, to give me the SD cards with the footage on them… you know…’ ‘It’s funny’, I said, ‘I couldn’t get through to him, Mark, I mean…do you know if he’s changed his number?’ ‘I haven’t spoken to Mark in over a year, actually….I ….heard something ….happened to him….. earlier in the year. A car accident or something.’ I tried to trace my line of reasoning for being here, had to keep drilling if I was going to hit oil; ‘What about Drendyl Pex, did you ever meet him?’ ‘The Director?’ Lumborg asked? ‘No…' I replied skeptically, 'The owner….. of Three Vertice Construction.’ ‘Oh…. right…’ Lumborg gave a strange look, ‘To be honest, the moment you asked me about Slaughter Theatre my mind went somewhere else. See the truth is, I…… I did have massive conversations about Slaughter Theatre whilst I was working on the construction videos. You…probably… should speak to my friend Ted Stevens… my understanding… he’s worked for …Mr…Pex quite a bit in the past— in fact that’s how I got the job at TVC in the first place. Ted lives in Richmond not far from here, I can take you round to his place, i’ve been meaning to visit him for a while—to see if he’s got any work going—‘ ‘That would be great.. Do you think you could call him now?’ ‘Sure…. um…’ Lumborg was strangely and increasingly hesitant, pulling out his old school mobile phone, then pausing and lowering it again; ‘…you’re not squeamish or anything are you?’ ‘How do you mean?’ I asked. ‘Well— it’s just. Ted, and his partner, the company they run….. well it’s kind of a porn company. There’s a good chance they’ll be filming and…. well I just wouldn’t want you to feel weird about—‘ ’That’s fine— I have no problem with that…‘
That afternoon turned out to bear strange fruits indeed. I drove, whilst Lumborg directed me to the house, (and home office studio) of Ted Stevens and Dorothy Lench, an odd and highly eccentric Melbourne couple I was about to learn way more about than I ever bargained for. They lived on a fairly well to do street of Richmond, with nice terrace houses lining the leafy streets. As we left the vehicle Lumborg told me that he had called Ted, and they were expecting me, but he suddenly grew strangely timid, and it took a moment to draw it out of him, he was anxious about being on a pornography set, and wanted to know if it was ok if he left me to it. Of course, I consented him to depart, and shortly I was knocking on the strange ornate door, with the delicately carved metal knocker shaped like the logo for the 1992 ‘Bram Stoker Dracula’ film.
I heard shuffling footsteps slowly coming to the door, and finally the mahogany opened to reveal a strange man, with a quiff of black hair with a grey streak, a pink nightgown, slightly open to reveal a hairy chest…. and bunny slippers; ‘Oh helloooo…. you must be Mr Dronefire? I’ve just been speaking to Lumborg…’ the man observed. ’Ted Stevens?’ I asked confounded, not expecting a man of this…. calibre to answer the door. ‘Marvelous…. an actual private investigator… what a fantastic character study..’ Ted said… ‘We have P.I’s in our productions all the time, but i’ve never met a real one… Dorothy? Dorothy?? You have to come and meet our real life— Private Dick…’ A feminine voice called out from a room far down the long hallway, and shortly thereafter a bright, and sprightly figure hopped and scampered down the hallway, she was wearing a costume straight out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, puffy red skirt and fishnet stockings. Dorothy Lench had far less enthusiasm in her face however, she pouted mysteriously, but her eyes scrunched up in a kind of scowl. ‘Whadda we need a P.I for? We’re shooting a bleedin’ outback scene, it’s a bloody desert fuck…not a noir….’ ‘Im terribly sorry..’ I interjected, ‘I hope i’m not interrupting your work. I’m doing some inquiries into an urban legend surrounding a series of videos——’ ’Oooh fuck me…’ Dorothy burst out laughing, ‘He is a real Private Dick isn’t he. Mandy, what’d’you think of our new Dick?’ A voluptuous blonde, naked from the waist up, with thick, heavenly hair bobbing around her shoulders was now walking up the hallway. I felt my eyes drop nervously to the floor, enchanted by the bare woman’s beauty, as she came closer, her features grew more and more recognisable. Ted meanwhile had draped a long, fluffy scarf around me like he was decorating a christmas tree, his large grin showed an innate mischieviousness, and the freckles on his face added to this impishness; ‘Forgive us, we get terribly excited when we have guests on set. Production can be very stressful, you understand, we work hard, we play hard. Now Mandy, I think you are making our friend here VERY hard.’ I blushed, unable to contain my secret awareness silent; ‘Forgive me. uh….madam… But you’re Mandy, from the “Mandy is randy Down Under” series, aren’t you?’ I blushed. ‘Mandy Thumbridge.’ The buxom blonde stated proudly, ‘You’re a fan of my work?’ ‘I’m aware of the—’ I confessed. ‘Oh come now—‘ Ted scolded, leaping about the room like a mad pixie, ‘Be honest young man, it’s ok to admit to watching pornography. Besides this woman is an artist. You needn’t be ashamed to confess that you like art. Need you now?’ ‘She’s a wonderful actress’ I allowed. ’She’s a goddess` Ted elaborated, ‘All we school boys can do is worship, at the altar of Venus…’ as Ted Spoke, Dorothy Lench had returned to the room carrying an actual carving of the Greek Goddess, placing it in the centre of the hallway, the two mad producers then proceeded to dance around the statue in their grotesque costumes. Mandy Thumbridge, the porn star, meanwhile crossed her arms over her bare chest and turned a mocking expression and lippy pout. She was pure eroticism, I found I had to avert my gaze continually.
Ted was evidently quite high, and had become totally distracted, both from his work, and from my investigation, and he was now completely absorbed in his strange ritualistic dance around the statue of Venus. As he chanted, and mimicked cliche native American gestures, he murmured strange turns of phrase, which sounded as though they had come out of an abandoned script for some demented horror production; ‘Gods, pixies and elves, dancers on the periphery of our imagination, we are married to the Goddess of lust, bring us our givings, before ol’ Cronus, god of time cuts our days short, and ends this marvellous Saturnalia, ho….hum… ho…hum…. Shiva the destroyer, grant us this day of sin….’ ‘Excuse me—‘ I interrupted, quite fed up with the parlour games, ‘I certainly don’t want to rain on your parade, but i’m afraid the reason for my visit is a rather sombre one. I’m investigating two murders which occurred in the last two years.’ Ted and Dorothy stopped their joyous dance, and came to a standstill, as Mandy scrambled to put on a bra. ‘Well… that’s a bit of a buzzkill, isn’t it?’ Ted scoffed. ‘Mr Stevens’ I asked impatiently, ‘Are you aware of rumours surrounding a snuff video known as ‘Slaughter Theatre’ or the Slaughter Theatre trilogy. A cold expression suddenly took over everyone’s faces, Ted grimaced and Dorothy began to lurk in the background. ‘Well…. of course we have…. Mandy learned about death that way, didn’t you babe?’ Ted commented rather coldly and cruelly. The beautiful Miss Thumbridge suddenly burst into tears, and covered her face with her hands, retreating to one of the other rooms. I could gather the momentum to do little else than stare spellbound.
‘I’m afraid that’s a rather sore subject matter Mr Dick’ said Ted, as he and Dorothy fell into a faux traumatic hug with one another.
I indicated with a gesture that I was going to follow Miss Thumbridge and ask her some questions; ‘Do you mind if I—‘ Dorothy and Ted both waved their hands as if to tie their hands from it, ‘Go ahead’ Ted said anxiously.
As I walked down the hallway I could see a large production set in the far room, filled with cardboard cutouts of cactuses and other cliche desert backgrounds. I could hear sobbing emanating from one of the side rooms, and moved to open the door. The room I entered was also decked out as a kind of film set; a science fiction style scene of alien geography of a foreign planet, with a lush queen sized bed out of place in the middle of the mars-like terrain. The walls and roof were black, with recognisable stars and planets in the background. Mandy was sitting on the expensive pink bed and weeping profoundly. I was relieved to see that she had covered up.
I sat next to her on the bed; ‘Miss Thumbridge’ I said gently, ‘I’m very sorry that you obviously have something deeply sad which has affected you. But I must push you, as two young women have been murdered, and anything you know about this snuff trilogy may help get to the bottom of the crimes.’ Mandy looked up through large, manga eyes, her face flushed and covered in tears; ‘Of course I want to help’ she sobbed. ‘You obviously have some kind of story about this.. you worked on—‘ ‘— I don’t know if it was a body… you see all kinds of things on set. You don’t always ask questions. Especially when you’re a naughty picture actress. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a real part, where you don’t have to take your top off and perform oral sex, y’know?’ ‘What pictures are you talking about Mandy?’ I asked, ‘You feel like you saw something unusual on one of the sets you worked on?’ ‘I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it’ Mandy looked down coyly. ‘Just give me something to work on Mandy, anything? The name of the people who filmed you. Something…’ I begged. ’It was…. i’m sorry… i’m sorry… I can’t… Talk to Ted and Dorothy… they know as much as me…. please….’ Mandy burst into tears again, and I rubbed her back consolingly, then quietly, I departed the bizarre outer-space set.
Ted and Dorothy were now sitting on couches in the main foyer, their body language had become closed and they were no longer happy or enthusiastic looking. I walked into the centre of the foyer, trying to appear vulnerable. ‘Mandy is very upset, but she seems to think that the two of you might be in a better position to tell me about whatever compromising scenario she was placed in on one of the sets.’ Ted looked at Dorothy with appreciable mental strain, both were not liking the angle of questioning, so I tried to take an alternate route to the destination, interrupting their thoughts; ‘You two are married, or in an open relationship? I don’t mean to pry….’ The question worked perfectly, exactly as I had hoped. The two clearly thrived on sexual controversy, and loved nothing more than to gloat their eccentricities to a conservative audience; ‘Typical assumption you’d expect from a CIS white male, unfortunately Ted and I don’t fit so neatly into your census form boxes.’ ‘My partner Dorothy identifies as gender fluid, bisexual,’ Ted said proudly and pretentiously; ‘And as for myself, I mostly prefer the description of Pan——sexual, if one must have a sexual tag-line at all. I’d suggest that your prejudiced question itself was an act of violence… but no doubt you’d brand me a social justice warrior, and jump online with your white supremacist friends, or bring your thug cronies around to lynch us, or brand us satanic pornographers and call the police.’ ‘Mr Stevens, I meant no offence.’ I said, ‘I only ask, because i’m interested in Mandy. Do you often participate in the sexual acts in your films yourselves? Is Mandy frequently called to engage with unknown actors or actresses.’ ‘Everything we do at our studio is extremely safe…’ Ted snapped, my plan was working, ‘We have never compromised our actors or actresses, or made them do anything that wasn’t stated clearly in their contracts when they agreed to work… as for other studios, Pex and his crew… I have no responsibility for what happens.’ ‘I’m sorry…’ I asked, ‘Drendyl Pex?’ ‘Sure.’ Ted said without thinking, ‘You didn’t know he was a director? Surely you must have realised that Three Vertice Construction was a front for other business ventures.’ ‘Drendyl Pex works in the porn industry?’ I asked. ‘Drendyl Pex runs the porn industry…’ Ted affirmed with vitriol. ‘And Mandy, she’s worked for Drendyl…’ ‘Listen….’ Ted said standing up, ‘I’m very happy to help a friend of Lumborg Hames, but I don’t think i’m going to be able to help much more with your line of questioning.’
Slowly, but surely, Ted escorted me to the front door, as Dorothy ignored me, and sobbing still reverberated through walls —from the other room.
I left the Stevens house feeling even more highly strung and on edge.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
The next few months were an all consuming blur, fully strung up on the case, I investigated every avenue of intrigue I could. I spoke to countless people in the creative industry who were inadvertently linked to Drendyl Pex. There were many rumours and bizarre stories about the eccentric secret head of the vice industry in Australia. Legends had Drendyl Pex known to wear velvet capes, and strange masks during his directorial stints, orgies and wild parties.
I spoke to someone who had worked on scripts for Drendyl Pex’s production company, the bizarre horror stories had grotesqueries straight out of the Grand Guignol. Every mention of the plots created by Pex’s crew, never failed to embellish the perversity, utter distastefulness and horrendously realistic gore depicted in the films.
Nonetheless, I grew tired of all the hapless hearsay. So many accounts presented the facts of the trilogy, as something that could and had been found, countless times, in second hand stores or on the shelves of private VHS collectors. So I began to spend my weekends trawling through garage sales all over Melbourne, I called private collectors, searching through their immense VHS and DVD collections. I met the owners of ex-video store rentals, went to reverse garbage yards and pawn shops, but never once came across the mysterious VHS tape emblazoned with red letters.
I knew I was getting close to the truth, but something about the things I was learning made me abysmally afraid. Another strange occurrence happened when I showed up at a media industry party. I had attended the event only because I knew certain people who were connected to Pex’s alleged productions were going to be there. Ted Stevens brother was there, Gerald, a producer, also a number of actors who had worked in the same pornography films as Mandy Thumbridge.
It was a costume party, rave, in a secret nightclub decked out in the third floor of the heritage-listed, historic, Royal Exhibition building. As I walked through highly intoxicated and drug addled crowds at the rave I was awestruck by the bizarre costumes and ornate antique decorations adorning the hall. I passed a couple dressed as Azaria Chamberlain and a full-sized man-dingo costume, then came a group of Australian Prime ministers, their intricate plastic masks were quite impressive; Bob Hawke, Robert Menzies, Gough Whitlam. Electronic music played as I walked through the crowds, trying to observe whilst still blending in, a group of drunken louts had noticed me and were laughing and pointing, their costumes; a biker, a soldier, an indigenous warrior and a doctor —resembled a kind of Village People ensemble, all the while strobe lights provided a sinister ambience. One of the girls the village people men were with was wearing a Madonna style cone shaped bra, and was drawing a lot of hollering, wolf whistling and attention towards her. Meanwhile, a g-string donning Hitler was sitting on the bar, bearing fishnet stocking clad legs and talking to a group dressed as the Bali Bombers, and behind them there seemed to be the entrance to a much seedier part of the club.
I had seen Gerald Stevens earlier, along with other producers and creatives, but many of them had disappeared, and I began to think that perhaps Pex’s creatives were lurking somewhere out in the back of the club. I wasn’t sure if I would be permitted to enter, sure enough, as I tried to make my way, a solid looking gentleman dressed all in black blocked my way. ’Sorry sir, it’s invite only in our VIP section’. I tried the only argument that sprung to mind ‘I work for Drendyl Pex’ I said as confidently as I could. This actually seemed to work. The man barely questioned it at all, stepping aside and allowing me to pass through without identification.
What I found beyond the gates was more extreme and otherworldly than I had foreseen. The guests were similarly clad in outrageous costume, but there was much less casual reverie, and a lot more bizarre ritual in the back rooms. A woman dressed as an S&M fetishist whipped a cut-covered man dressed as Jesus on the cross. A group of Australian convicts with their legs bound in iron chains were similarly whipped by naked porn stars. Beyond the arches of the room, more pornography was being filmed on old style cameras. There were elaborate glass cubes attached to the ceiling, acting as erotic dance stages, where strippers holding multiple machine guns entertained jeering men beneath. My mind focussed in on a particular corner of the room, which was decked out like a gothic castle, sitting on red leather chairs, a group of men dressed as army officers were harassing a young and innocent looking school girl, who didn’t seem a natural fit to the scenes of debauchery around her.
I approached the soldiers cautiously, eaves-dropping on their conversation with the innocent looking girl. At first the conversation seemed typical enough, the soldiers egging the girl on, trying to persuade her into participate in something, perhaps some kind of illicit act. ‘Come on, please.’ They taunted and begged. But then a more sinister undertone came across in the conversation, that the nature of what the men wanted the girl to participate in became all the more menacing. Wether or not the suggested role play was linked to anything I had learned or not, suggestions that the girl be the soldiers ‘sacrifice’ to the god of dark matter, was more than I could take.
I shortly intervened, grabbing the girl by the arm and escorting her out of the strange party. She was annoyed at first, almost struggling, but later she seemed relieved I had given her the means to escape the uncomfortable scenario. Her name was Wendy Soames. I felt astoundingly like an overbearing father figure, but as I probed the girl about what the men had wanted her to do, and she explained that they were trying to get her to film herself being naked and being sacrificed in some sort of mock snuff film, I felt relieved I had acted as I did. I helped the girl to a cab, and solemnly contemplated things.
Back at home that night, I found even more to dwell upon.
I had been re-examining the files given to me by my private client. It was part of an old case I had been working on, the client who had wanted me to look into the murder in St Kilda was the same client who had wanted me to investigate a corrupt police officer by the name of Kenny Lothar. They were paying big money. What I was looking at now, was evidence that suggested a link between Kenny Lothar and Officer Barrington, my police contact, given that Barrington had supplied me with the details about Drendyl Pex, this was all starting to induce my paranoia. Could Barrington be linked to the exact police corruption he was adamantly preaching about? I had also found evidence that Pex was only a small time player in something much bigger, that he was on the payroll of very high income corporate players in Australia and abroad, big American media and gambling personalities, tycoons worth more than the Packers.
I had the most dreadful sense of peripeteia.
Rushing out that night, I had to learn the truth, had to find more information about Drendyl Pex, and his seedy company.
I knew I had to drive out to the construction site in Footscray that night. Which is precisely what I did.
The lines on the highway flew by in ominous and precise beats. A pyramid of tarmac stretched out endlessly before me.
Finally I arrived at Three Vertice construction.
Scaling the fence, I entered the empty yards, resolving to break into any of Pex’s various office spaces and search for some convincing evidence that rumours about Pex were true.
The yards were dark, and shadows played tricks on my mind. In a stark moment I was sure I had seen a masked and cloaked figure swish by in the darkness towards a precarious tower overlooking the tallest hills of the yard.
I broke into the trailer I had been in with Pex previously, rifling through drawers and sacking cupboards, but I found little of interest. Wherever Pex kept his paperwork, it wasn’t here.
Finding nothing, the strange tower on the hill returned to my memory, and possessed or infantile I walked zombie like back down the muddy slopes towards the silhouetted tower against the near full moon.
Quickly and anxiously my hands found the steel rungs of the ladder, and the clinking metal echoed as I climbed.
I tried hard not to look down at the long drop, into the oddly placed vat of wet cement beneath me. Continuing up the rungs of the tower, until I was nearly at the top. Finally I met my destiny, climbing into the dark space at the top of the tower.
I could see nothing in the darkness. Hear nothing, but my heart palpitating in my chest, and my heavy breath rasping wildly.
I felt the pain, before I heard the sound. It all happened so quickly, my thoughts only registered three facts; my fingers covered in blood as I reached at the holes in my chest. The darkness, no face, nothing visible — except the silver ---of a police issued handgun, shining in the darkness.
I was already unconscious by the time my plummeting body hit the wet cement beneath. Sinking into oblivion.
Read more of the exploits of Pharlap Dronefire P.I here; https://www.reddit.com/libraryofshadows/comments/7izl7a/the_melbourne_ritual/
submitted by GoityePowerhouse to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]

[Table] I am a teacher in a low socio-economic, rural/isolated Australian High school AMA

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Date: 2012-11-09
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What is the craziest/funniest story you have about your students? Wow lots to answer! I'll start with... 2.you really need to be aware of cultural and religious differences in the classroom. It is sometimes really difficult when you realize something you assume is "general knowledge" is way outside their experience - teaching myths and legends for example: they know the story of the rainbow serpent and aboriginal dreaming, or how the gods gave fire to the Tongan man, but they might have no clue who the three little pigs are. Oh the other hand, because we have a 40% pacific islander population, they are really free and open with creativity, music and dance in particular. The most popular performance in the entire year has been the Cook Island girls doing traditional dance!
Do you take into account the multiculturalism of your class when designing your lesson plan? I decided to go into teaching for several reasons - firstly because I believe kids need someone who is passionate and wanted to help them to succeed. It didn't hurt that my mum teaches too, so I knew what I was getting into! I also was lucky and got a scholarship to cover my entire university costs if I agreed to work in a "difficulty staffing area" for 3 years minimum. I was a "targeted graduate".
How does such a diverse student population affect the learning climate? Honestly, though, I really feel that there is no such thing as a "bad" kid. Crazy, yes, but not evil. Even the worst one has some good in them. I did work experience in juvenile justice system and thought that most of these kids come from such horrific experiences, how could they get out of the pattern without people working to preventing them falling further down the same path?
What made you decide to get into teaching? As for crazy, do you mean funny, weird, confrontational, violent, insane...? Because I have a few, both from personal experience and stories from others...
That's awesome! Sounds like a very exciting place to live. I really love it. We have Tongan, Cook Islander, Samoan, P&G, phillipines, Turkish, afghanis, Sudanese, Indian, Fijian, Italian, Anglo, aboriginal, Chinese, among others, but there is ever any racial divides!
Have you ever seen the movie Fortress? Don't they have a song about the piggies? Never seen it, sorry!
Are there any Jonah Takaluas? I don't think so. Ive never heard of Jonah Takaluas.
How about one weird, one funny, and one violent? Alright!
Weird: I had a boy aged about 14 who had mental health problems. He barricaded himself into the middle of the classroom during class using chairs and stayed in there for an hour, pretending to be a cat. He also refused to take the DET funded laptop because the government could track his thoughts.
Funny- an aboriginal girl in yr 7, let's call her Teraha (not her name, hers is weirder) stole a whole bundle of white foundation makeup from drama and smeared it all over herself. Went around screeching "Look Miss! Now I'm a white fella like you!" at every class. She kept going until a boy started calling her Michael Jackson and she punched him in the face. I thought it was clever, she got a long suspension...
Where abouts? How do you manage to manage a class of 500? The whole school population is roughly 500, with a teaching staff of 53. The largest individual class I teach is 29 students, but I am also a year adviser for yr 8, which is 84 students aged about 12 to 13 years old.
Oh ok, whereabouts is your school? We are a small area so I won't give you the exact name or region, but it is roughly 8 hours inland from sydney, and is rural, not urban development.
Is it Parkes...I bet it's Parkes. I only know two things about parkes: it's where the dish is and that the poet Peter skryznecki lived there in a migrant hostel as a kid. Not parkes.
Dubbo. Not dubbo. Oh thank god, it is not dubbo.
Having just finished my HSC and the Advanced English course, I was really hoping I'd never have to see, hear or read Skrzynecki (pronounced Sheh-Nes-key just to stuff with us) ever again. Not that his work is inherently bad or anything, just that I'm so very, very tired of HSC English. I know him personally. A nice man, but very forward!
I lived in Australia for a year (I'm from Canada) and found the racism to be overt compared to Canada (we are still racist but keep it mostly hidden). Is that your experience? Also can you post some scenery photos - I miss there. I think the overt racism is cultural, we are a blunt people! I'd love to post some, but I'm using an iPad without any home pics. Anyone else got some?
Do you receive any extra pay compare to teachers in cities like Sydney? How is a teacher's salary set in Australia? Is it payed by the federal government, regional authority or the municipality? In some areas, you get paid extra or receive subsides for housing etc. unfortunately, where I am does not qualify for these! It is too bad, a friend of mine in the far west pays less than $50 rent on her house and gets an extra week off because of the temperature and geographic isolation... As for who pays me, I am in public education system, so am technically a governmental employee! I am employed by the NSW (State) Department of Education and Community Services. If I was private sector, it would be a different story. Wages are decent, and they increase over time. I started as a 4 year trained graduate (I have 2 bachelor degrees, not a BA and a diploma) and the starting salary was about $54,000. Currently, I'm sitting on about $64,000 annually.
This is the pay agreement if you'd like to look, but it is currently being renegotiated with the union. Link to www.det.nsw.edu.au
How do you feel about the divide on "my child is bad, therefore - I must parent" vs. "my child is bad, therefore - it is the teachers fault that my child misbehaves, as it's not my job to teach them morals, values and ethics" ? I straddle the line. Yes, I as a teacher must teach and model appropriate behaviour and ethics, but we cannot do it alone. We see them 6 hours out of 24. What they get outside of school makes a far longer lasting impression and while I do my best to show your child what they should be doing, home is far more effective as they model from what is shown to them as appropriate!
In the case of the drop-outs and gang members: Do you think that these kids truly wanted to learn? As in, did they really want to succeed, but just gave in to gang pressures or lack of academic success? It comes back to the difference between a learning difficulty and a learning impairment. Many kids honestly want to learn and please you, but are so anxious -as in psychologically/clinically phobic - that they will do anything, including acting out violently, to escape the situation. I have had kids in tears because they are so scared of reading a sentence they are literally crippled by it.
My girlfriend and I are moving over to Australia from Scotland in a little over a month, and she is a Home Economics teacher and will be looking for a job in that field before long. Do smaller, regional schools offer such programs? What would you say the main difficulties associated with regional living are? A good question. Yes, we teach Food Technology, Textiles, Design &Technology... Basically, if it comes under the TAS description, it gets taught. See, the junior school (aged 11-16) in the public system get taught a basic taster course of most subjects and then elect their subjects in their final senior years. Your best bet is to sign up with the Department of Education and get a casual teaching number so she can get a feel for our system before applying for a temporary block or a permanent position.
Main difficulties? Distance and isolation are the big ones. You are a long way from anywhere and it takes ages to get places. This means that access to opportunities and resources are limited to what is available locally. There is sometimes a very insular community who have trouble going outside of their town- I teach 18 year olds who have never been more than a two hour drive from home, never been on a plane or been to a capital city, who have no desire to ever do so.
Because Canberra is so nice? Canberra is lovely, but so artificial!
30 different nationalities. Why? What is in your town/city? Casino? Mines? We have a large itinerant population, lots of unskilled labour positions. This includes fruit and farming mainly. Also lots of refugees flooded into the areas for a better life, more opportunities in regional areas than in the cities.
Dingos ever eat any of your kids? Just kidding, but what creepy or dangerous insects or snakes do you have to be aware of by your school? Do termites count? Joking. No, we have redback, whitetail and funnelweb spiders on premises, personally, I'd take the redback over whitetails, ( a whitetail is tiny and it's bite causes necrosis) brown snakes, tiger snakes, red bellied black snakes... Worst thing is when someone finds a baby brown snake. They're small, fast and venomous, but brown snakes never lay just one egg, so even if you catch it there is probably 4-8 other little brown evil snakes hiding under the building somewhere...
Yikes. Beautiful country..lots of nasty things. Yeah, but they are usually more scared of you or are highly visible if you know what to look for. Whitetails are awful because they love to get into bedrooms and bedding in your sleep. If you miss the bite, it can be pretty nasty, google whitetail spider bite if you need some more reasons to avoid Australia!
How do the less privileged children that you teach deal with being upside down? Well, from our perspective, it would seem that you must struggle with being upside down. For us, upside down is rightside up!
Ah. So they deal with it quite well then. Thank you for answering my question. It was either that or invest in magnetized boots. And you are welcome.
an awesome gravity machine. but low socio-economic areas can not generally afford such machines. Sadly true. We rely on thumbtacks and staples mostly, and tie ourselves down with double sided tape if we are feeling extravagant!
Please tell me you staple the children's bodies and not the clothes. Clothes tend to get expensive. Question B! How do you deal fight of dingos trying to steal the children, as well as the 9000 other creatures there trying to kill them? Easy, packs of dingoes are easily warded off when you release the crocodiles with mouths full of deadly snakes.
Man, I does this make me want to visit your great land. Hey, ask nice and I might even regale you with tales of childhood horrors! In the meantime, www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I if you're still keen on Australia after that, look me up!
What's the attendance rate on an average day like? Well, that depends. We have a lot of "partial attendance" where students truant a lesson or two, go down the street or hang out in the school grounds, but are technically at school. The majority of our kids have decent attendance, but the 15-16 year olds are bucking the curve- every class except year 10, I might be missing one or two, but today, my year 10 class of potentially 20+ students was actually a class of 7. (It was period one, some turned up later in the day). But every school has some problems. It becomes a major concern if a student's attendance rate drips below 85%. As a year advisor, I have to contact home and enquire about this before it gets sent on to the welfare team, but when you get someone who has been in school for roughly one week in ten altogether, then it gets passed on to the department of community services and the home-school liaison officer steps up.
Are you also sick of your students not tying up their kangaroos after arriving at school? I for one am sick of finding kangaroo shit in my staff room. Yeah, it was really frustrating, but now we keep them on the back oval until the kids have to ride them home again. Once they fight off the swarms of deadly snakes and have a friendly boxing match or two, the Roos usually settle pretty quiet until we send off our boomerangs to get the latest beer advertising. that stirs them up like a bucket of prawns on a hot day!
As a rural school do you feel your students are disadvantaged in anyway in regards to funding, resources, teachers etc? I go to a school near Penrith which is not anywhere close to rural but I felt that my school either had terrible funds management or was less well off as schools closer to the city. Also if you don't mind me asking, whats the average ATAR score of your school? This is hard to answer because my school is currently receiving special grants from the government to boost our funding. At the moment, we have two more teaching positions and an extra deputy that our number of students wouldn't usually support. When this runs out at the end of the year, we will be having some serious restructuring, losing a deputy, several members of the support/office staff (including groundskeeper) and between 2-4 teaching staff. This means the load for teachers will go up and our classes will increase in size. A big problem for us is our parents and families, being low-socioeconomic groups, cannot often afford uniforms, shoes, workbooks or other equipment, or school fees. We as a school subsidize a lot for our kids, and I personally keep a supply of books and equipment in my classroom that comes out of my own money. Many students arrive in inappropriate clothing, without a bag, food, solid shoes, books or a pen, and we have to do what we can for them. We are better off than some, but compared to those "best" Sydney schools? Not a competition.
This is hard to answer because my school is currently receiving special grants from the government to boost our funding. At the moment, we have two more teaching positions and an extra deputy that our number of students wouldn't usually support. When this runs out at the end of the year, we will be having some serious restructuring, losing a deputy, several members of the support/office staff (including groundskeeper) and between 2-4 teaching staff. This means the load for teachers will go up and our classes will increase in size. A big problem for us is our parents and families, being low-socioeconomic groups, cannot often afford uniforms, shoes, workbooks or other equipment, or school fees. We as a school subsidize a lot for our kids, and I personally keep a supply of books and equipment in my classroom that comes out of my own money. Many students arrive in inappropriate clothing, without a bag, food, solid shoes, books or a pen, and we have to do what we can for them. We are better off than some, but compared to those "best" Sydney schools? Not a competition. As for our results, I honestly cannot remember the average ATAR from last year. I do know that in the NAPLAN testing, we are below state averages in literacy and comprehension, but we do more "value adding" than state average - meaning our students make more significant improvement in their result between yr 7 and yr 9 than is the state average, but they are starting at a lower point so are still not meeting the goal.
Wow thanks for the replies :) Honestly from how I perceive it, teaching deserves much more appreciation than it gets at the moment. I'm really glad your students got such a fantastic teacher like you and speaking from experience, is very hard to come by. Also, HSC english is poopy. Ooooh yeah. HSC is the delight of everyone. I say this as an English teacher, HSC English, in my humble opinion, should not be mandatory. Scaled up to reward people who take it, yes. Like the maths syllabus. But mandatory, for everyone? It just makes you hate us and it.
FINALLY A TEACHER WHO (openly) AGREES! Compulsory HSC English left me so bitter and jaded after what would otherwise have been a very enjoyable final year of high school. Three years later and I can still feel the hatred welling up inside as I read those words. It sounds like your teacher did not do the course justice. Mild disdain is expected, but welling hatred is ... Not a good sign.
One of my closest friend's parents are both rural school principals in NSW, one Primary over ~40 students, one highschool over a larger school. Out of interest, did you choose to work in the bush, or were you posted during teacher training? What was the biggest "culture-shock" moment for you when you started working out past woop-woop? Did you train in one of the capitals? I chose to be rural because I felt I could do more good here. But not a culture shock. I grew up in a tiny, semi-arid, "rural-and-isolated" dairy farming town in the riverina and went to a rural university, (wagga), which meant I had more trouble adjusting to seeing hills than to the lifestyle!
I can see how that would be awesome! But by God, you're amazing for dealing with all that stuff, every single day. Amazing. I was a teacher too, so I know you don't get told that enough. ANd here's the government, come to yank your funding. And how about some more paper work for the Institute? Does it get lonely out there? I've been West, but only on business. It does get lonely, particularly as I'm not married. Meeting new people out here is hard, especially once you weed out the ex students!
That's gotta be tough. I know convincing a fella who 1. will move out there and 2. understands your passion is a tall order, because I went through something similar while living not too far from the city. Is the job good enough to keep you there long term? I have trouble because most people don't like to try long distance relationships. My job is a permanent position which is important. This means that I can be guaranteed a job from now until I retire, even if my school numbers drop and they don't need me, the government is obliged to find me another position in the state. This is called a "forced transfer" because I am technically a government employee, not employed by my specific school.
Do your students experience racism because they live in a mostly white country? It is not as big a problem here as it is in some places where I have taught. Because we are very culturally dirvese, students are fairly tolerant of each other. They are more likely to be offensive to people of the same racial background than others! We do get some racism out in the community -one man I know refers to it as "the black school" and we have had visiting schools afraid to enter our school because of fears that they might get "bashed" by the aboriginal or islander students. When they do come in, they are usually pleasantly surprised that we don't react to newcomers with violence!
I taught out your way not all that long ago. I know you didn't say where but we both know there aren't many schools that far out with 500+ students! Nonetheless, our schools could still have been hundreds of kms apart anyway. It's a ridiculously big state. I just wanted to send this your way... Hands down, the best kids I ever taught came from that little town out west. I still keep in contact with many of them. They astound me with their growing lives and I genuinely miss them. It was tough out there, I saw things that Australians should be devastated by - kids living in 'buildings' that didn't have doors (you lift one of the walls out), sleeping in caravans with torn off roofing, travelling for an hour along dirt roads just to get to school - and yet those same kids rarely bitched and moaned like their city counterparts. I also received my best training out west - training which made me the teacher I am today. I'd like to think I'm the teacher reddit wishes it had! Or at least the one I wished I had! Enjoy your time out there - the good and the bad! How far away is the nearest movie theatre? It was 4ish hours for me. I am lucky that way, we are only a couple of hours from a regional hub, with a cinema no less! I can get to see a movie in a little under an hour drive there and another back. It is hard, I think, for people who don't live out this way to truly understand what the distance is like. How many people out there can drive for several hours without seeing any sign of human society other than the road or occasional power lines?
Fellow registered teacher here. I've never taught in Australia though aside from my teacher training. What's the best way to go about getting your foot in the door into teaching? Is it generally accepted that you need to go out west and teach in a country school? Is it possible to get into some schools in the major cities in more permanent positions? The staffing system is changing, but if you want to build experience, then going west helps. You can also work casually in a school and hope a position you are suited to opens up. Permanency is a major goal and it can take years of working temporary blocks of 6 months or a year to find a school wwhich can offer it. It's about being visible and writing applications well.
What do you think life would be like in that community, for a gay student? It is difficult. Very difficult. admittedly, it is easier on the few we have here than other places I have been, we even have a few transgender students who are fairly accepted and moderately popular. Some of this is the acceptance in some pacific islander cultures, such as Tongan. From my school, the policy seems to be if you don't broadcast, they will not judge.
It has been about 2 years since I finished my teacher training. I've been teaching English In Japan since then. I don't think that experience is going to help me too much when it comes to looking for a job when I get home. Is there one particular skill or thing in demand outside teaching experience that I could develop to help me get a job? Schools like people who bring more than their job description - if you have any specialities that could help, for example, I run a lot of extra curriculars for our school including the public speaking competitions. Think about what skills or willingness you have and how these could help the community.
With limited funds, do you believe you are still able to teach the fundamentals well enough to be considered successful? I believe we do a pretty damn good job. All evidence we collect with statewide and national testing shows we are value adding to educational standard at above average for the lower ability students and we consistently get some of the best results for seniors in the region. We struggle to extend the mid range ability students as much as other schools may, but this is a situation where good teaching practise is more important than anything else we have to work with.
I am also studying teaching (high school - English and history major) and am also Australian. I was wondering, how is it teaching in a rural area? I have some friends who found the adaption hard due to suburban life. Adjusting to rural life can be hard, I have friends who grew up in cities who find it grating, too quiet, dull and too far away from friends and family. But they tend to appreciate things I forget, like being able to walk out late at night and see the entire sky filled with stars and complete silence.
When I visited my friend 6 hours south from Sydney, the night sky was the beauty of it all... I still have a year to go thankfully, so when the time comes, ill hopefully be able to decide. Also is the pay better for rural? I've heard it is. You get the same pay no matter where you are. But the further west you go, the better you concessions are. They need teachers and are happ to make offers to get them!
Are the Polynesian boys really the best break dancers in the whole suburb? PS - "Awww, Miss, you farted!" Mainly the Polynesian, but the aboriginal and aboriginal/islander boys are pretty darn talented too!
How does your access to resources compare to that of a rural school in a place like, say Southwestern Virginia? I have no idea, the only place I have been outside of Australia is China, which is very very different to australia educationally! We have access to the net, obviously, we have a decent amount of tech such as computers and smartboards in school rooms, and thanks to the dept of education, all students in years 9-12 have a school mini laptop. But we are a big, empty country, meaning it takes hours to get anywhere. Teachers struggle to get approval for professional development because it takes at least a 3 days worth of casual coverage - a days travel up, a day at the course and a days travel back...we just can not afford that.
Ay miss, is Jonah truly the sickest break dancer in school or are there new breakers out there we need to know about? My boys are amazing. They have real talent. You watch out!
What do you listen to when you want to " jam the fuck out"? Genre, artists? I love my old school classics, rolling stones especially, but i also have Pink, Marlyin Manson, Ramstien, Elvis, jazz, broadway musicals and 90s pop in the mix. When working with kids, teenybopper stuff tends to bleed into your consciousness. I unfortunately am now fluent in teenage girl and can discuss One Direction or the like almost painlessly!
I'm gonna say Griffith or Riverina area? Sounds like it. Not Griffith. Further west.
Yes hi madam international drainage commission here; which way does the water in your toilet run? If you want me to go check my neighbours, you could end up with an insanely high phone bill that causes an international incident.
How often you get called 'fucking white cunt'? A good friend of mine is a teacher and needs it to start her day, as well as strong black coffee. I think that the best one I've ever been called is a "fucking white racist pig" by a parent. I don't think she saw any irony in calling me that.
Any moments where your work felt really fulfilling? I remember being in my first year out teaching, working with a really low ability group, studying a poetry unit. We were 3 weeks in and they were really struggling with it. One day, I was working with a girl and you could see it just click - it was as if a switch had literally been flipped in her head and she looked at me with absolute wonder in her eyes - she said "Miss! There's so much more to poetry than just words, isn't there?! "
They are rare but worth it!
Do dingos eat babies? Actually, yes. Dingoes are untrustworthy feral animals, and have been known to maul small children or attack tourists. As for the Azaria Chamberlain story, I think the baby died, but I still don't know how the "dingo" got into a tent without causing any damage or disturbance...
Does "rise up lights" still sound like "razor blades" when an Australian says it? No. Rys up lihts, versus rayzuh blahdez.
What is the gifted/talented programming like at your school (if any)? I know that multicultural schools, particularly rural ones have a very hard time developing and implementing programs for the gifted, but Australia has broken a lot of ground with that research. You said somewhere that PD is hard to come by, since you're so far away from everything, but are there resources available at your school (like a gifted resource teacher)? We run gifted and talented programs in art and music, we also have dance students participate in school spectacular, but video conference training sessions. Our drama students just finished a joint drama production with our sister school in the western suburbs, where they used video chat, fb and internet to bond and build an entirely original play based on joint experiences as Australian youth.We also run a Targeted Sports program to identify those talented at athletics and sport, who get extra training and experience. It is working really well with the junior boys.
What does your AEO do? The official description appears to have been written by a committee, can you please explain using more concrete examples? An AEO is employed at schools that have a significant number of indigenous students.Basically, they work in the school to get indigenous student the best possible educational opportunities and work within the indigenous community to promote the school and education.our AEO works with individuals who are recognised "at risk", helps create multicultural programs and resources, liaises with community members and aboriginal elders, and generally seeks out opportunities for our indigenous youth while being a visible, successful role model for the students.
Do you have Bogans? I keep seeing videos with them. They seem to be a combo of rednecks and pikers... Trust me, everywhere has bogans. They are often racist, slow thinkers and lovers of real "ocker" cultural touchstones, such as utes with thousands of aerials, spotlights and a roo bar, B&S balls and bundy rum.
Do you actually work with Torres Strait Islanders? Some yes, but the majority of indigenous students here are aboriginal.
I can't help but think of tommorrow when the war began. Have you ever read it to any students? Do any of your students resemble any of the characters? I teach that book to my kids, in year 9. they love it, but don't really resemble the characters. Twtwb is a very blue mountains, mainly white population, farming town setting. Some of the landscape rings true but the people are not much like mine!
I don't know if you're still answering, but I'll ask. I live in a low socio-economic urban area in WA, where we have MAJOR problems with Aboriginal children being actively discouraged from attempting to study and improve their lot in life by parents who would rather they live off benefits. Many either feel that they are owed by the white man, or that there is no chance so why bother.. generally a mix of the two. Is this a problem in rural areas? We don't have students being actively discouraged, but our parents often don't place much value on education, and often our kids have to work to help support the family. When you are working for 6-8 hours and not getting much sleep, school is not that important.
Are sports teams a big part of your school? Does it have a rugby/aussie rules team? Sport is life in our school. If there is a competition out there, we have a team - we even have lawn bowls team!
Is the area anything like the movie "The Snowtown Murders"? No, that was mountains and in a different state, I think.
Have you seen Wake in Fright? Why do people keep asking me that?
Last updated: 2012-11-14 03:06 UTC
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