Hi, writing.
I'm "Valeri," and I'm analco author. I'm procrastinating, trying not to start a rewrite that I'm dreading, so I somehow got sucked into writing the other day. It worked!
Since then, I think I've commented on four posts that ask about outlining and first drafts. That got me to thinking: I was very lucky to have great and very accomplished mentors when I started off. At one point I asked an "a-list" best-selling author who had given me so much of his time why he, for no hope of any sort of return I could identify, was so constantly helpful.
"Just do me a favour. Some day you're going to come across a promising but frustrated writer. Find a way to encourage them, to give them for free something you learned the hard way. Do that a few times and you will have paid me back."
I probably shouldn't have used quotation marks up there. I think my imagination has seriously maimed his actual line. Still, that was the thrust of his point. Writing is an intensely lonely and solitary endeavour. Give something back, even just a reminder that she is not alone, to a tortured writer somewhere.
Well, since I'm lazy, I figure that instead of waiting for a promising but frustrated writer to come along, I'll just assume that there are a couple of you out there among writing's 658,000 subscribers. I'm also going to make the hugely narcissistic and egotistical assumption that something in my process will be helpful to someone out there. Some of you will realise how much of an affront this kind of arrogance is. Writers are actually precious snowflakes. I mean that without even a hint of sarcasm. Every writer is different. Contrary to what the "Write a Bestseller in 90 Days or Less" books would have you believe, there is no "one size fits all" approach to fiction writing.
Alas, I have only my own process to offer, and so I shall have to confine myself to that. I do dearly hope you can extract something from it that spurs you on, gets you past a linguistic speed-bump, triggers (in a good way only, I implore you!) some sort of realisation, or just gets you writing.
And so?
Well, I always had trouble with abstract advice, so instead I'll try to do a case study. A workshop if you will. In this I must admit I am shamelessly stealing from Orson Scott Card's "Uncle Orson's Writing Class". All writers, good and bad, steal. We just call the results "homages." Shh. Don't tell anyone else.
Let's begin.
Ideas
Without the "idea" there is, of course, no story. Steven King has a great passage in his book "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft" (a must-read) where he says:
The Fact
There is, I think no way to demonstrate this except to demonstrate this. So, just now I hit the front page of wsj.com and looked for something intriguing. Let's take a look:
https://preview.redd.it/z26qm7m3wfb21.png?width=949&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b3c35b89f13938704c1e61045077db3f5e1421d
Hmmm...
Wikipedia gives us:
Ok, so:
Fact: "Daughter of founder of global corporate powerhouse arrested after four month law enforcement effort."
How do we get it to a "narrative?" Let's poke it until it squirms.
Interrogating the Fact
Q. How did she get to be finance chief of a large multi-national?
That's hardly a typical position for a woman in a largely patriarchal society like China. Nepotism? Well, maybe, but that seems more likely for a marketing position, or something a bit fluffier, but "finance chief"? You probably better have your act together before you slip into that slot, particularly as a woman.
Ok. So she "earned" it. Doing some research I find that she is 46 today and that she was awarded a masters sometime after 1997. She joined Huawei in 1998 and first became an executive in 2011. Ok... so she fought her way up. I am starting to like her.
Now we have a narrative. A fact (the female head of finance for a multinational was arrested), and a path to get to that fact (she fought her way up to that position over 13 years). Interesting.
Still, it needs more. Sure there is a hint of drama in there, but it doesn't quite leap out at me yet. How can we poke this some more?
Q. How does a young woman claw her way up the ranks like that?
Well, she's the daughter of the founder. You can easily see how the daughter of a cut-throat founder, the sort of guy who has minions who dump bodies in Hong Kong Harbour late at night might enjoy some deference at work. Her co-workers and executive rivals would have to treat her with kid gloves. Right? Still, when things seem too "easy" to me, I think they make for boring plot.
What if we go the other way? What if we give her a darker side. What if she forced her father to bring her on board. Even better, what if he was weak in the first place? Let's even go further. A grandfather will be another 20 years older. Let's make the grandfather the founder. His granddaughter is the son he never had. He dotes on her. He sends her to all the best schools. Then, when his little company starts to expand she uses her influence over him first to slot herself into the executive ranks, then to seize control of his shares.
Yikes. I got carried away there. That's when I know something is working. It takes on a life of its own. Now I have a full-blown anti-hero, and, you know, the "idea" has moved from fact, to narrative, to a real drama. The addition of the family conflict seals the deal, I think.
Also, we can't let her get arrested, can we? I mean, unless I want to write a women's prison drama. Maybe someday, but for now, she probably needs to escape the police. In the real story she had a warrant for her arrest for four months. Great!
You know, this is the point to begin outlining. It's about 25 minutes since I saw the headline. Interrogating the "fact" has morphed it into what I think is a pretty interesting drama concept. It doesn't always happen this way, but this one just took off. Again, when it starts developing itself you know you are on to something.
The Outline
I use my own version of Randy Ingermanson's "Snowflake Method", starting with a summary of the book, then moving to the acts, then to the chapters, etc.
The final structure I like to aim for in an outline is:
Summary
So let's see if I can craft a paragraph that summarises this project. I usually try to write these like the eventual blurb for the book. Why do double work? So:
Outline Level I: The Blurb
Summary:
Not awful for a first draft, but I'm not about to buy Meng's life rights, and unless I am prepared to do a lot of research on China, I better shift the setting some.
How about:
That's a lot more action-laden than most of my stuff, but let's roll with it. As the outline progresses maybe some deeper themes will emerge (then again, maybe not).
Outline Level II: The Parts and Acts
As I mentioned above, I use a six-act, two goal structure, usually, a perverted version of the Algonkian Author Salon's concept http://www.authorsalon.com/page/general/sixact/. I squeeze two "acts" inside each of three "parts" of the novel. I also prefer to start works by throwing the reader in medias res ("into the middle of things").
Act I/II and the First Scene
The first scene, the first lines of the novel should be the "inciting incident" that throws the main character into chaos and sets up the drama (getting the chaos back into order, perhaps) that follows. Depending where the novel starts, the first "act" might actually be backstory, which I really try to avoid writing, except by sneaking it in later. So, in this case, Act I should set up the larger conflict, and introduce the critical characters.
Let's try:
Not bad. But too boring to begin with maybe. Yes, yes, a corporate control vote. Fine. Boardroom. A bit of lobbying with his old buddies over cigars and single malts by the grandfather, but a bit slow for the opening of an exciting novel, no? Better fodder for flashbacks than first act prose.
Notice that I include NONE of Hannah's childhood, nothing about her parents, nothing about her doting grandfather sending her to Europe after high school. That's in my head, and may eventually end up in a character outline, but I always prefer to do the backstory of a character AFTER she shows me who she is under pressure first. Also, backstory makes for super boring beginnings. Later I will weave it in with dialogue and elsewhere, but a long flashback to her childhood is dull, dull, dull.
Act II should launch the drama with an inciting incident, establish Hannah and teach the reader who she is, and generally slap her around until she begins to understand the goal she much reach before she can progress to the next act. This first goal will dominate the beginning of the book. In this case it's obvious: Find out why the hell the FBI has raided her apartment.
Ok, so lets try:
Late night snack is boring. Let's add some intrigue:
Ooo! Layers and layers of mystery. I like it!
Now:
Blah. Could be better.
How about....
Much better. Don't let your main character get away easy. Never, ever.
Not as much drama in there as could be. I'l try to link the characters together more.
Sexual tension is good. Ex-boyfriend is good. Actually, let's add some more intrigue. Let's make the senior partner at Dunbar & Phelps one of Hannah's enemies. How about the father of Hannah's rival, David Haskins? Even better, what about his mother? You know, perhaps David Haskins turns into the backstabbing bastard that he is because his mother is beastly to him, even abused him when he was young. The pressure of being a female partner at a large white-shoe law firm in Manhattan got to her, maybe? What kind of childhood could he have had? David Haskins has to live in that shadow. I like it. Now Hannah has to take on the entire Haskins family. Hmm!
So:
Not bad, but it could use some more intrigue.
Not bad. I've set up the basic conflict, and the first of Hannah's "goals": decipher the mystery. The outline now looks like this:
Summary: It was mere chance that Hannah Durant, the first female Chief Finance Officer for Lane Biotech, the newly christened darling of Wall Street, wasn't home when the FBI smashed down the door to her New York penthouse. Now a fugitive, she must race against the clock to scuttle the criminal case against her and unmask the traitor at Lane who set the authorities on her trail. It won't be easy for Hannah, the granddaughter of Lane's beloved founder. Her rise to the top has left many enemies in her wake, all of whom are certainly looking to consolidate their gains in the wake of her fall from grace. Billions of dollars and her matriarchal legacy are at stake and her rivals are not known for taking prisoners.
Ok, so we are into Part II (the traditional "Second Act" in a three act structure). First, Act III, where we want to sent the characters after the "first goal," and then slap them around so they can't get it. The goal is learning more about David's project.
How about:
Let's add something to that.
So this is where I always run into problems. The dreaded "middle sections." When I get stuck with middles, I throw another complication at the main character and see where it goes.
How about:
Phew! So... in my head, this mystery person is actually a "false enemy", that is, someone who turns into an ally. At the moment I sort of think he's an investigator. Ok, for whom? How about for the grandfather. The grandfather was suspicious of David already, maybe. Not suspicious enough to tell anyone, just suspicious enough to have David watched. Now that the grandfather is dead, the investigator is very suspicious indeed. Fun!
That's a pretty good, if short, Act III. We have some new intrigues, and we've complicated the character's efforts. It will need more, but for now it works.
Act IV:
The big point of Act IV is to take the "first goal" and smash it. The main character has been wasting her time for the first half of the book. Once we explode the first goal we can introduce the second goal, the "real goal" of the book.
Maybe:
Ok, I'm a little stuck. Now what? We need a major plot change and a new goal for Hannah. The secret papers of the grandfather is the perfect place to find it. So if the evil act of her enemy is not David embezzling money, what is it? And how do we work in the Cruella de Vil mother? Well, if it's a biotech company, maybe the "secret project" is some innovation, or some evil product, or something dangerous? How high can I push the stakes here? What will people kill for? Money? Obviously. Power? Sure. Youth? The Fountain of Youth? Tempting, but... sort of over-used. What about brains? How about a new smart drug? I like it.
Perhaps:
Needs some work, but maybe a decent first effort.
Act V:
Now we have to complete the goal change, and work our way into the climax.
Obviously, my idea to use the investigator of the grandfather has fallen by the wayside. Maybe in a later draft I will pick it up again, but if you nitpick outlines too much, they will take over and never let you actually write.
Let's continue:
What happens next? I have no idea. Hannah is all out of friends. Probably I have to go back and write someone into the outline who can help her. Or perhaps the shadowy figure turns out to be an ally all along, planted by the grandfather to keep tabs on Patricia. I don't know. I'm stuck. Might be time for this to go into the drawer for a bit until something presents itself.
What's left?
Act V/VI
Well, in Act V, we have to permit Hannah to win. She's not a very deep character right now. In future drafts I would look to give her some deep flaw, something that looks like a defect that somehow permits her to prevail in this scene. I've also written myself into a corner in this outline. Hannah doesn't really have a way out. Act V finishes up by resolving the climax somehow (poor Hannah. She's really fucked at the moment). Then, Act VI cleans up the mess and ties up the loose ends. Probably I limit that to an epilogue explaining how Hannah anonymously releases all the research on the drug via Wikileaks. Or, maybe she keeps it for herself if I am feeling sinister.
So:
Summary: It was mere chance that Hannah Durant, the first female Chief Finance Officer for Lane Biotech, the newly christened darling of Wall Street, wasn't home when the FBI smashed down the door to her New York penthouse. Now a fugitive, she must race against the clock to scuttle the criminal case against her and unmask the traitor at Lane who set the authorities on her trail. It won't be easy for Hannah, the granddaughter of Lane's beloved founder. Her rise to the top has left many enemies in her wake, all of whom are certainly looking to consolidate their gains in the wake of her fall from grace. Billions of dollars and her matriarchal legacy are at stake and her rivals are not known for taking prisoners.
Whew!
That was entertaining. Still, this is a far more genre-like piece than I usually write. The characters are pretty one dimensional. They need a lot of work. The plot is very basic. Lots of early concepts got lost and will need to be picked up again. The anti-hero aspect of Hannah got completely lost, for example. Where was the part where she forced her grandfather to make her part of the company?
That's the point, however. All first drafts are shit. That includes outlines. For me, learning to accept that was a big step forward.
Here is a lesson I learned about myself, though your mileage may vary. If during the first draft or the outlining process I go back, all progress halts. Much better to just plow forward for the first draft, and not just the first draft of the manuscript, but the first draft of the outline too.
That said, it's a little more than 2.5 hours since I started. Not bad for if you are procrastinating, trying to avoid a major rewrite of an existing work.
I don't intend to take this story any further really, it was more an experiment than anything else. So, writing: steal, borrow, lift from it however you want. The major point I hope the exercise conveys is this:
If you are inclined to use this technique to build outlines, please do. If you have a framework like this, even if it is a totally different framework, much of the plot elements and some of the characters will write themselves. You can almost just let things grow on their own, because each of the six acts (or three acts, or whatever) requires certain things to happen before, during, and after. I find that using something like this as a guide means that ideas get fleshed out so easily. You simply know that in Act II you have to define the major characters and the conflict. What has to happen in Act III flows almost inevitably from that.
Again, this particular narrative structure is just my preference. Use whatever you want. If you are a plotter instead of a pantser, then you might find it much easier to get the outline done so you can tackle the hardest part of writing: belting out the first draft.
I hope you have enjoyed (and will forgive) my little narcissistic self-indulgence. Most importantly, I hope it serves a frustrated writer somewhere, that my mentor is placated, and my debt to him somehow discharged wherever they keep track of the balance on these sorts of accounts.
With the Warmest Literary Regards,
Valeri Urach
submitted by ValeriUr to writing [link] [comments] I'm "Valeri," and I'm an
Since then, I think I've commented on four posts that ask about outlining and first drafts. That got me to thinking: I was very lucky to have great and very accomplished mentors when I started off. At one point I asked an "a-list" best-selling author who had given me so much of his time why he, for no hope of any sort of return I could identify, was so constantly helpful.
"Just do me a favour. Some day you're going to come across a promising but frustrated writer. Find a way to encourage them, to give them for free something you learned the hard way. Do that a few times and you will have paid me back."
I probably shouldn't have used quotation marks up there. I think my imagination has seriously maimed his actual line. Still, that was the thrust of his point. Writing is an intensely lonely and solitary endeavour. Give something back, even just a reminder that she is not alone, to a tortured writer somewhere.
Well, since I'm lazy, I figure that instead of waiting for a promising but frustrated writer to come along, I'll just assume that there are a couple of you out there among writing's 658,000 subscribers. I'm also going to make the hugely narcissistic and egotistical assumption that something in my process will be helpful to someone out there. Some of you will realise how much of an affront this kind of arrogance is. Writers are actually precious snowflakes. I mean that without even a hint of sarcasm. Every writer is different. Contrary to what the "Write a Bestseller in 90 Days or Less" books would have you believe, there is no "one size fits all" approach to fiction writing.
Alas, I have only my own process to offer, and so I shall have to confine myself to that. I do dearly hope you can extract something from it that spurs you on, gets you past a linguistic speed-bump, triggers (in a good way only, I implore you!) some sort of realisation, or just gets you writing.
And so?
Well, I always had trouble with abstract advice, so instead I'll try to do a case study. A workshop if you will. In this I must admit I am shamelessly stealing from Orson Scott Card's "Uncle Orson's Writing Class". All writers, good and bad, steal. We just call the results "homages." Shh. Don't tell anyone else.
Let's begin.
Ideas
Without the "idea" there is, of course, no story. Steven King has a great passage in his book "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft" (a must-read) where he says:
Let’s get one thing clear right now, shall we? There is no Idea Dump, no Story Central, no Island of the Buried Bestsellers; good story ideas seem to come quite literally from nowhere, sailing at you right out of the empty sky: two previously unrelated ideas come together and make something new under the sun. Your job isn’t to find these ideas but to recognize them when they show up.What works for me is taking some interesting "fact" that has caught my eye, and probing it with questions until it evolves into first a story (with the addition of "narrative") and then a drama (with the further addition of "conflict").
The Fact
There is, I think no way to demonstrate this except to demonstrate this. So, just now I hit the front page of wsj.com and looked for something intriguing. Let's take a look:
https://preview.redd.it/z26qm7m3wfb21.png?width=949&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b3c35b89f13938704c1e61045077db3f5e1421d
Hmmm...
The legal reasoning behind the Justice Department’s unusual reversal of an opinion that paved the way for online gambling....Blah.
Thousands of protesters took to the streets across France on Saturday for the 10th consecutive weekend of demonstrations, despite efforts by....Protests are good. Maybe.
President Trump is being pulled....Double blah.
Meng Wanzhou, Huawei’s finance chief and daughter of its founder, helped lead the company’s effort to improve its image. With her arrest, she’s caught up in one of the probes ensnaring the company around the world.Hmmmm. This checks a few boxes. Female protagonists are a thing for me, so that's interesting. World wide company. Family. Hmm indeed. Let's do some more research.
Wikipedia gives us:
On 1 December 2018, while transferring planes at Vancouver International Airport en route to Mexico from Hong Kong, Meng was arrested by Canadian authorities at an extradition request of the United States. On 7 December, it was revealed that the arrest warrant was issued on 22 August 2018 by the United States District Court for the Eastern District of New York....Wow. They were after her for four months. Interesting.
Ok, so:
Fact: "Daughter of founder of global corporate powerhouse arrested after four month law enforcement effort."
How do we get it to a "narrative?" Let's poke it until it squirms.
Interrogating the Fact
Q. How did she get to be finance chief of a large multi-national?
That's hardly a typical position for a woman in a largely patriarchal society like China. Nepotism? Well, maybe, but that seems more likely for a marketing position, or something a bit fluffier, but "finance chief"? You probably better have your act together before you slip into that slot, particularly as a woman.
Ok. So she "earned" it. Doing some research I find that she is 46 today and that she was awarded a masters sometime after 1997. She joined Huawei in 1998 and first became an executive in 2011. Ok... so she fought her way up. I am starting to like her.
Now we have a narrative. A fact (the female head of finance for a multinational was arrested), and a path to get to that fact (she fought her way up to that position over 13 years). Interesting.
Still, it needs more. Sure there is a hint of drama in there, but it doesn't quite leap out at me yet. How can we poke this some more?
Q. How does a young woman claw her way up the ranks like that?
Well, she's the daughter of the founder. You can easily see how the daughter of a cut-throat founder, the sort of guy who has minions who dump bodies in Hong Kong Harbour late at night might enjoy some deference at work. Her co-workers and executive rivals would have to treat her with kid gloves. Right? Still, when things seem too "easy" to me, I think they make for boring plot.
What if we go the other way? What if we give her a darker side. What if she forced her father to bring her on board. Even better, what if he was weak in the first place? Let's even go further. A grandfather will be another 20 years older. Let's make the grandfather the founder. His granddaughter is the son he never had. He dotes on her. He sends her to all the best schools. Then, when his little company starts to expand she uses her influence over him first to slot herself into the executive ranks, then to seize control of his shares.
Yikes. I got carried away there. That's when I know something is working. It takes on a life of its own. Now I have a full-blown anti-hero, and, you know, the "idea" has moved from fact, to narrative, to a real drama. The addition of the family conflict seals the deal, I think.
Also, we can't let her get arrested, can we? I mean, unless I want to write a women's prison drama. Maybe someday, but for now, she probably needs to escape the police. In the real story she had a warrant for her arrest for four months. Great!
You know, this is the point to begin outlining. It's about 25 minutes since I saw the headline. Interrogating the "fact" has morphed it into what I think is a pretty interesting drama concept. It doesn't always happen this way, but this one just took off. Again, when it starts developing itself you know you are on to something.
The Outline
I use my own version of Randy Ingermanson's "Snowflake Method", starting with a summary of the book, then moving to the acts, then to the chapters, etc.
The final structure I like to aim for in an outline is:
Summary
- Part I
- Act I
- Act II
- Part II
- Act III
- Act IV
- Part IV
- Act V
- Act VI / Epilogue
So let's see if I can craft a paragraph that summarises this project. I usually try to write these like the eventual blurb for the book. Why do double work? So:
Outline Level I: The Blurb
Summary:
It was mere chance that Meng Wanzhou, the first female head of finance for Huawei, China's largest and most powerful private company, wasn't home when the Canadian Mounties smashed down the door to her Vancouver flat. Now a fugitive, she must race against the clock to scuttle the criminal case against her and unmask the traitor at Huawei who set the authorities on her trail. It won't be easy for Meng, the granddaughter of Huawei's beloved founder. Her rise to the top has left many enemies in her wake, all of whom are certainly looking to consolidate their gains in the wake of her fall from grace. Billions of dollars and her matriarchal legacy are at stake and her rivals are not known for taking prisoners.
Not awful for a first draft, but I'm not about to buy Meng's life rights, and unless I am prepared to do a lot of research on China, I better shift the setting some.
How about:
It was mere chance that Hannah Durant, the first female Chief Finance Officer for Lane Biotech, the newly christened darling of Wall Street, wasn't home when the FBI smashed down the door to her New York penthouse. Now a fugitive, she must race against the clock to scuttle the criminal case against her and unmask the traitor at Lane who set the authorities on her trail. It won't be easy for Hannah, the granddaughter of Lane's beloved founder. Her rise to the top has left many enemies in her wake, all of whom are certainly looking to consolidate their gains in the wake of her fall from grace. Billions of dollars and her matriarchal legacy are at stake and her rivals are not known for taking prisoners.
That's a lot more action-laden than most of my stuff, but let's roll with it. As the outline progresses maybe some deeper themes will emerge (then again, maybe not).
Outline Level II: The Parts and Acts
As I mentioned above, I use a six-act, two goal structure, usually, a perverted version of the Algonkian Author Salon's concept http://www.authorsalon.com/page/general/sixact/. I squeeze two "acts" inside each of three "parts" of the novel. I also prefer to start works by throwing the reader in medias res ("into the middle of things").
Act I/II and the First Scene
The first scene, the first lines of the novel should be the "inciting incident" that throws the main character into chaos and sets up the drama (getting the chaos back into order, perhaps) that follows. Depending where the novel starts, the first "act" might actually be backstory, which I really try to avoid writing, except by sneaking it in later. So, in this case, Act I should set up the larger conflict, and introduce the critical characters.
Let's try:
Act I: After long deliberations the Board of Directors of Lane Biotech appoints Hannah Durant, the granddaughter of Phillip Durant, Lane's founder, as Chief Financial Officer, replacing the recently deceased William Pascal. Hannah's chief rival for the position, David Haskins, Senior Vice President of Operations, takes the decision badly. The deciding vote is cast by Hannah's grandfather.
Not bad. But too boring to begin with maybe. Yes, yes, a corporate control vote. Fine. Boardroom. A bit of lobbying with his old buddies over cigars and single malts by the grandfather, but a bit slow for the opening of an exciting novel, no? Better fodder for flashbacks than first act prose.
Notice that I include NONE of Hannah's childhood, nothing about her parents, nothing about her doting grandfather sending her to Europe after high school. That's in my head, and may eventually end up in a character outline, but I always prefer to do the backstory of a character AFTER she shows me who she is under pressure first. Also, backstory makes for super boring beginnings. Later I will weave it in with dialogue and elsewhere, but a long flashback to her childhood is dull, dull, dull.
Act II should launch the drama with an inciting incident, establish Hannah and teach the reader who she is, and generally slap her around until she begins to understand the goal she much reach before she can progress to the next act. This first goal will dominate the beginning of the book. In this case it's obvious: Find out why the hell the FBI has raided her apartment.
Ok, so lets try:
Act II: Hannah ducks out of her apartment for a late night snack right before the FBI storms in and smashes down her door. She comes back to find law enforcement everywhere and, sensing something amiss, melts into the night to watch from afar. Once she realises what has happened she needs someone to go to collect herself.
Late night snack is boring. Let's add some intrigue:
Act II: Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Hannah answers the emergency phone she keeps by her bed for critical Lane business. A strange voice tells her that men are coming to kill her and she must get out of the apartment immediately. Still shaking off sleep, Hannah throws on clothes and ducks out of her apartment. She is just about to count herself crazy when the FBI storms into her building. Terrified, she melts into the night to watch from afar. The voice on the phone said they were coming to kill her. Is it the real FBI, or a disguised hit-squad? It sure looks like the real FBI. Did the voice lie to her to get her to look guilty by fleeing? Did the voice lie to her to make sure she took the threat seriously? Who is behind the voice?
Ooo! Layers and layers of mystery. I like it!
Now:
Hannah goes to the only person she can trust, her grandfather but when she arrives the FBI is there too.
Blah. Could be better.
How about....
Hannah goes to the only person she can trust, her grandfather, but when she arrives there is a New York Coroner's van in the driveway of his estate. Hannah knows in her bones that the sheet-covered body they are taking out is her grandfather's.
Much better. Don't let your main character get away easy. Never, ever.
Despondent, Hannah goes to the home of her father's old friend, a partner at Dunbar & Phelps, one of the most prestigious law firms in the city, for help.
Not as much drama in there as could be. I'l try to link the characters together more.
Hannah goes to her ex-boyfriend, the up-and-coming Senior Associate at Dunbar & Phelps, one of the most prestigious law firms in the city, for help.
Sexual tension is good. Ex-boyfriend is good. Actually, let's add some more intrigue. Let's make the senior partner at Dunbar & Phelps one of Hannah's enemies. How about the father of Hannah's rival, David Haskins? Even better, what about his mother? You know, perhaps David Haskins turns into the backstabbing bastard that he is because his mother is beastly to him, even abused him when he was young. The pressure of being a female partner at a large white-shoe law firm in Manhattan got to her, maybe? What kind of childhood could he have had? David Haskins has to live in that shadow. I like it. Now Hannah has to take on the entire Haskins family. Hmm!
So:
Hannah goes to her ex-boyfriend, Kurt the up-and-coming Senior Associate at Phelps & Haskins, one of the most prestigious law firms in the city, for help. Still smarting from their breakup, Kurt is standoffish at first, but he still loves Hannah and agrees to help her.
After quizzing Hannah for long hours the beginnings of a motive emerge. Hannah was in the process of reviewing the financials for a shadowy research project at Lane, a project that David Haskins was in charge of. Could the project be connected to the FBI raid? Would someone try to move Hannah out of the way before she investigated the financials?
Not bad, but it could use some more intrigue.
Then Kurt makes a horrible suggestion: What if her grandfather was murdered to seize control of Lane? He asks Hannah who the majority shareholder of Lane is. She assumed it was her grandfather, but in fact, she doesn't know. To get to the bottom of it all they will have to find out.
Not bad. I've set up the basic conflict, and the first of Hannah's "goals": decipher the mystery. The outline now looks like this:
Summary: It was mere chance that Hannah Durant, the first female Chief Finance Officer for Lane Biotech, the newly christened darling of Wall Street, wasn't home when the FBI smashed down the door to her New York penthouse. Now a fugitive, she must race against the clock to scuttle the criminal case against her and unmask the traitor at Lane who set the authorities on her trail. It won't be easy for Hannah, the granddaughter of Lane's beloved founder. Her rise to the top has left many enemies in her wake, all of whom are certainly looking to consolidate their gains in the wake of her fall from grace. Billions of dollars and her matriarchal legacy are at stake and her rivals are not known for taking prisoners.
- Part I
- Act I: After long deliberations the Board of Directors of Lane Biotech appoints Hannah Durant, the granddaughter of Phillip Durant, Lane's founder, as Chief Financial Officer, replacing the recently deceased William Pascal. Hannah's chief rival for the position, David Haskins, Senior Vice President of Operations, takes the decision badly. The deciding vote is cast by Hannah's grandfather.
- Act II: Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Hannah answers the emergency phone she keeps by her bed for critical Lane business. A strange voice tells her that men are coming to kill her and she must get out of the apartment immediately. Still shaking off sleep, Hannah throws on clothes and ducks out of her apartment. She is just about to count herself crazy when the FBI storms into her building. Terrified, she melts into the night to watch from afar. The voice on the phone said they were coming to kill her. Is it the real FBI, or a disguised hit-squad? It sure looks like the real FBI. Did the voice lie to her to get her to look guilty by fleeing? Did the voice lie to her to make sure she took the threat seriously? Who is behind the voice? Hannah goes to her ex-boyfriend, Kurt the up-and-coming Senior Associate at Phelps & Haskins, one of the most prestigious law firms in the city, for help. Still smarting from their breakup, Kurt is standoffish at first, but he still loves Hannah and agrees to help her. After quizzing Hannah for long hours the beginnings of a motive emerge. Hannah was in the process of reviewing the financials for a shadowy research project at Lane, a project that David Haskins was in charge of. Could the project be connected to the FBI raid? Would someone try to move Hannah out of the way before she investigated the financials? Then Kurt makes a horrible suggestion: What if her grandfather was murdered to seize control of Lane? He asks Hannah who the majority shareholder of Lane is. She assumed it was her grandfather, but in fact, she doesn't know. To get to the bottom of it all they will have to find out. Kurt suggests that David must have been involved in a financial fraud, or embezzlement. It makes sense to Hannah. That would explain why he was so anxious to be CFO, so he could cover up his crimes. It would also explain why he would want Hannah's grandfather dead. With his vote off the Board of Directors, and Hannah under arrest for crimes unknown, the Board of Directors would appoint David as CFO in an instant. The plot thickens.
Ok, so we are into Part II (the traditional "Second Act" in a three act structure). First, Act III, where we want to sent the characters after the "first goal," and then slap them around so they can't get it. The goal is learning more about David's project.
How about:
Act III: It's 3am and Hannah and Kurt set off to the offices of Lane to try and get documentation on the secret project David was working on. Hannah leads Kurt into the back door, they find their way to David's office, but, strangely, a security guard is guarding the door. Hannah has never seen anything like it. The two try to flee, but run into a co-worker working late. Hannah makes an excuse and the two slip away.
Let's add something to that.
Hannah implies that she and Kurt were having a tryst after hours at the office, defusing the co-worker's suspicion. Afterwards, Kurt is furious, but Hannah begs him to keep helping her. Reluctantly, he agrees.
So this is where I always run into problems. The dreaded "middle sections." When I get stuck with middles, I throw another complication at the main character and see where it goes.
How about:
Hannah and Kurt sit in Kurt's car in the parking lot outside Lane. Hannah sees movement in the black towncar across the lot. Someone is watching them. Panicked, the two race off, but the car follows them. Kurt is no stunt driver, but he manages to make a quick pair of turns down a couple alleys and they are alone again.
Phew! So... in my head, this mystery person is actually a "false enemy", that is, someone who turns into an ally. At the moment I sort of think he's an investigator. Ok, for whom? How about for the grandfather. The grandfather was suspicious of David already, maybe. Not suspicious enough to tell anyone, just suspicious enough to have David watched. Now that the grandfather is dead, the investigator is very suspicious indeed. Fun!
That's a pretty good, if short, Act III. We have some new intrigues, and we've complicated the character's efforts. It will need more, but for now it works.
Act IV:
The big point of Act IV is to take the "first goal" and smash it. The main character has been wasting her time for the first half of the book. Once we explode the first goal we can introduce the second goal, the "real goal" of the book.
Maybe:
Act IV: Kurt has another idea. If Hannah can get her hands on her grandfather's estate planning documents, he can use the Phelps & Haskins name to talk to her grandfather's trusts and estates attorney. Perhaps they can learn something that way. Hannah doesn't have any idea how to get a hold of those documents. Kurt suggests that her grandfather might have kept them at home. Hannah bristles at the prospect of breaking into her grandfather's house but other options are hard to come by. Exhausted, the pair go back to Kurt's house. Hannah sleeps in the guest room. Unable to sleep, Hannah creeps into Kurt's room. The two of them sleep together [of course!]
Kurt calls in to work sick. The two sleep in late. The next evening Hannah goes to break into her grandfather's house looking for documents. She searches everywhere in the dark house.
Ok, I'm a little stuck. Now what? We need a major plot change and a new goal for Hannah. The secret papers of the grandfather is the perfect place to find it. So if the evil act of her enemy is not David embezzling money, what is it? And how do we work in the Cruella de Vil mother? Well, if it's a biotech company, maybe the "secret project" is some innovation, or some evil product, or something dangerous? How high can I push the stakes here? What will people kill for? Money? Obviously. Power? Sure. Youth? The Fountain of Youth? Tempting, but... sort of over-used. What about brains? How about a new smart drug? I like it.
Perhaps:
Hannah comes across a file labeled only "India Quebec". Hannah can't think of any projects that involved India and Canada. Before she can think about it, she hears a noise. She hides as a dark figure looks in through the windows. She creeps out the back and barely evades the figure. As she runs past the driveway she sees the same black town-car from the parking lot at Lane.
On the subway back to Kurt's Hannah pours over the papers. David's name is everywhere. Now she understands. Project "India Quebec" is a smart drug. India and Quebec are the phonetic alphabet words for IQ.
Anxious to share the news, Hannah returns to Kurt's and lets herself in with the key only to find Kurt has been murdered. She grabs his car keys and flees. She is in the parking garage about to get into Kurt's car when she is grabbed from behind.
Needs some work, but maybe a decent first effort.
Act V:
Now we have to complete the goal change, and work our way into the climax.
Act V: Hannah finds herself in the law offices of Phelps & Haskins staring at Patricia Haskins, the senior partner. Behind her David Haskins looks nervous.
Obviously, my idea to use the investigator of the grandfather has fallen by the wayside. Maybe in a later draft I will pick it up again, but if you nitpick outlines too much, they will take over and never let you actually write.
Let's continue:
Hannah is stunned to learn that Patricia Haskins is David's mother. Patricia gloats over Hannah, and it shortly becomes clear that she is the mastermind behind the plot. She tells Hannah that her grandfather was an "old fool" who refused to see the commercial potential of India Quebec. He intended to bury it, arguing that a super expensive drug that boosted IQ would do nothing but increase inequality in the world. "A soft idealist," Patricia calls him, "in love with the sound of his own ethics." Of course Patricia moved to help her son David seize control of the project, first by using her influence with the board of Lane to get her son on the radar as the next potential CFO. But then Hannah interfered. Patricia had no choice but to act. Now she will have to tie up loose ends.There's nothing wrong with putting dialogue in an outline. Go for it.
In the background, David whines, squeamish.
"Shut up you fucking sissy," his mother hisses. "You never had any backbone. Never. I had to do everything for you. Since you were a child. Everything. You want to be a baby? Fine. Mommy will fix it for you. Mommy is always fixing it for you."
Patricia motions to the shadowy figure. Hannah is doomed.
What happens next? I have no idea. Hannah is all out of friends. Probably I have to go back and write someone into the outline who can help her. Or perhaps the shadowy figure turns out to be an ally all along, planted by the grandfather to keep tabs on Patricia. I don't know. I'm stuck. Might be time for this to go into the drawer for a bit until something presents itself.
What's left?
Act V/VI
Well, in Act V, we have to permit Hannah to win. She's not a very deep character right now. In future drafts I would look to give her some deep flaw, something that looks like a defect that somehow permits her to prevail in this scene. I've also written myself into a corner in this outline. Hannah doesn't really have a way out. Act V finishes up by resolving the climax somehow (poor Hannah. She's really fucked at the moment). Then, Act VI cleans up the mess and ties up the loose ends. Probably I limit that to an epilogue explaining how Hannah anonymously releases all the research on the drug via Wikileaks. Or, maybe she keeps it for herself if I am feeling sinister.
So:
Summary: It was mere chance that Hannah Durant, the first female Chief Finance Officer for Lane Biotech, the newly christened darling of Wall Street, wasn't home when the FBI smashed down the door to her New York penthouse. Now a fugitive, she must race against the clock to scuttle the criminal case against her and unmask the traitor at Lane who set the authorities on her trail. It won't be easy for Hannah, the granddaughter of Lane's beloved founder. Her rise to the top has left many enemies in her wake, all of whom are certainly looking to consolidate their gains in the wake of her fall from grace. Billions of dollars and her matriarchal legacy are at stake and her rivals are not known for taking prisoners.
- Part I
- Act I: After long deliberations the Board of Directors of Lane Biotech appoints Hannah Durant, the granddaughter of Phillip Durant, Lane's founder, as Chief Financial Officer, replacing the recently deceased William Pascal. Hannah's chief rival for the position, David Haskins, Senior Vice President of Operations, takes the decision badly. The deciding vote is cast by Hannah's grandfather.
- Act II: Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Hannah answers the emergency phone she keeps by her bed for critical Lane business. A strange voice tells her that men are coming to kill her and she must get out of the apartment immediately. Still shaking off sleep, Hannah throws on clothes and ducks out of her apartment. She is just about to count herself crazy when the FBI storms into her building. Terrified, she melts into the night to watch from afar. The voice on the phone said they were coming to kill her. Is it the real FBI, or a disguised hit-squad? It sure looks like the real FBI. Did the voice lie to her to get her to look guilty by fleeing? Did the voice lie to her to make sure she took the threat seriously? Who is behind the voice? Hannah goes to her ex-boyfriend, Kurt the up-and-coming Senior Associate at Phelps & Haskins, one of the most prestigious law firms in the city, for help. Still smarting from their breakup, Kurt is standoffish at first, but he still loves Hannah and agrees to help her. After quizzing Hannah for long hours the beginnings of a motive emerge. Hannah was in the process of reviewing the financials for a shadowy research project at Lane, a project that David Haskins was in charge of. Could the project be connected to the FBI raid? Would someone try to move Hannah out of the way before she investigated the financials? Then Kurt makes a horrible suggestion: What if her grandfather was murdered to seize control of Lane? He asks Hannah who the majority shareholder of Lane is. She assumed it was her grandfather, but in fact, she doesn't know. To get to the bottom of it all they will have to find out. Kurt suggests that David must have been involved in a financial fraud, or embezzlement. It makes sense to Hannah. That would explain why he was so anxious to be CFO, so he could cover up his crimes. It would also explain why he would want Hannah's grandfather dead. With his vote off the Board of Directors, and Hannah under arrest for crimes unknown, the Board of Directors would appoint David as CFO in an instant. The plot thickens.
- Part II
- Act III: It's 3am and Hannah and Kurt set off to the offices of Lane to try and get documentation on the secret project David was working on. Hannah leads Kurt into the back door, they find their way to David's office, but, strangely, a security guard is guarding the door. Hannah has never seen anything like it. The two try to flee, but run into a co-worker working late. Hannah makes an excuse and the two slip away. Hannah implies that she and Kurt were having a tryst after hours at the office, defusing the co-worker's suspicion. Afterwards, Kurt is furious, but Hannah begs him to keep helping her. Reluctantly, he agrees. Hannah and Kurt sit in Kurt's car in the parking lot outside Lane. Hannah sees movement in the black towncar across the lot. Someone is watching them. Panicked, the two race off, but the car follows them. Kurt is no stunt driver, but he manages to make a quick pair of turns down a couple alleys and they are alone again.
- Act IV: Kurt has another idea. If Hannah can get her hands on her grandfather's estate planning documents, he can use the Phelps & Haskins name to talk to her grandfather's trusts and estates attorney. Perhaps they can learn something that way. Hannah doesn't have any idea how to get a hold of those documents. Kurt suggests that her grandfather might have kept them at home. Hannah bristles at the prospect of breaking into her grandfather's house but other options are hard to come by. Exhausted, the pair go back to Kurt's house. Hannah sleeps in the guest room. Unable to sleep, Hannah creeps into Kurt's room. The two of them sleep together [of course!] Kurt calls in to work sick [as one does]. The two sleep in late. The next evening Hannah goes to break into her grandfather's house looking for documents. She searches everywhere in the dark house. Hannah comes across a file labeled only "India Quebec". Hannah can't think of any projects that involved India and Canada. Before she can think about it, she hears a noise. She hides as a dark figure looks in through the windows. She creeps out the back and barely evades the figure. As she runs past the driveway she sees the same black town-car from the parking lot at Lane. On the subway back to Kurt's Hannah pours over the papers. David's name is everywhere. Now she understands. Project "India Quebec" is a smart drug. India and Quebec are the phonetic alphabet words for IQ. Anxious to share the news, Hannah returns to Kurt's and lets herself in with the key only to find Kurt has been murdered. She grabs his car keys and flees. She is in the parking garage about to get into Kurt's car when she is grabbed from behind.
- Part III
- Act V: Hannah finds herself in the law offices of Phelps & Haskins staring at Patricia Haskins, the senior partner. Behind her David Haskins looks nervous. Hannah is stunned to learn that Patricia Haskins is David's mother. Patricia gloats over Hannah, and it shortly becomes clear that she is the mastermind behind the plot. She tells Hannah that her grandfather was an "old fool" who refused to see the commercial potential of India Quebec. He intended to bury it, arguing that a super expensive drug that boosted IQ would do nothing but increase inequality in the world. "A soft idealist," Patricia calls him, "in love with the sound of his own ethics." Of course Patricia moved to help her son David seize control of the project, first by using her influence with the board of Lane to get her son on the radar as the next potential CFO. But then Hannah interfered. Patricia had no choice but to act. Now she will have to tie up loose ends. In the background, David whines, squeamish. "Shut up you fucking sissy," his mother hisses. "You never had any backbone. Never. I had to do everything for you. Since you were a child. Everything. You want to be a baby? Fine. Mommy will fix it for you. Mommy is always fixing it for you." Patricia motions to the shadowy figure. Hannah is doomed.
- Act VI: [To do].
"She had been sure that the strange voice on the other end of the phone was a prank, but not too sure obviously. After all, she left her apartment anyhow. She expected nothing, but it fifteen minutes later, as she watched from a park bench across the street, a half dozen sedans pulled up in front of her building and more than a dozen men rushed in.
"The FBI?" Hannah breathed to herself.
Whew!
That was entertaining. Still, this is a far more genre-like piece than I usually write. The characters are pretty one dimensional. They need a lot of work. The plot is very basic. Lots of early concepts got lost and will need to be picked up again. The anti-hero aspect of Hannah got completely lost, for example. Where was the part where she forced her grandfather to make her part of the company?
That's the point, however. All first drafts are shit. That includes outlines. For me, learning to accept that was a big step forward.
Here is a lesson I learned about myself, though your mileage may vary. If during the first draft or the outlining process I go back, all progress halts. Much better to just plow forward for the first draft, and not just the first draft of the manuscript, but the first draft of the outline too.
That said, it's a little more than 2.5 hours since I started. Not bad for if you are procrastinating, trying to avoid a major rewrite of an existing work.
I don't intend to take this story any further really, it was more an experiment than anything else. So, writing: steal, borrow, lift from it however you want. The major point I hope the exercise conveys is this:
If you are inclined to use this technique to build outlines, please do. If you have a framework like this, even if it is a totally different framework, much of the plot elements and some of the characters will write themselves. You can almost just let things grow on their own, because each of the six acts (or three acts, or whatever) requires certain things to happen before, during, and after. I find that using something like this as a guide means that ideas get fleshed out so easily. You simply know that in Act II you have to define the major characters and the conflict. What has to happen in Act III flows almost inevitably from that.
Again, this particular narrative structure is just my preference. Use whatever you want. If you are a plotter instead of a pantser, then you might find it much easier to get the outline done so you can tackle the hardest part of writing: belting out the first draft.
I hope you have enjoyed (and will forgive) my little narcissistic self-indulgence. Most importantly, I hope it serves a frustrated writer somewhere, that my mentor is placated, and my debt to him somehow discharged wherever they keep track of the balance on these sorts of accounts.
With the Warmest Literary Regards,
Valeri Urach
