The car in inside the casino on the podium is won by
Slot Machines Unlimited: Slot Machines for Sale
GTA Online Casino Cars: Western Sovereign is the Lucky
Apparently you can sell won podium vehicles? : gtaonline
What time does the Podium Car change in GTA 5 and which is
GTA Online: Glitch lets you win the podium car every time
won a car at the casino but all garages was full :: Grand
Can't sell podium car? :: Grand Theft Auto V General
can you sell casino podium cars
can you sell casino podium cars - win
Dead Rising 5 psychopaths
How many: 12.
Tyler Blacksmith (The main antagonist of the game). Tyler was a world famous black metal artist and a secret gang leader who serves as the main antagonist of Dead Rising 5. He started the outbreak with a Terrorist Militia organization Ortiz of destruction's leader Pete Harris by releasing the zombies to the cities with the help of his minions. Looks: Black Metal Hair, Mayhem's Dawn of the black hearts shirt, Black Metal face paint, Black bondage jeans with a lot of chains and long boots with chains. Weapon. The Black Society (guitar+scythe). Location. Fortune City Arena. Theme. Cannibal Corpse Evisceration Plague. Intro: When Chuck entered the Arena once again after he saw his battle against TK in the screens. After that it changed to a black metal skull image. Chuck was confused that gang members started to attack him (Which you battle first before Tyler appears). After few of the members were killed. Tyler will appear from the ceiling and he will jump down on a trampoline that lunges him on the ring that he lands on. Tyler explained to Chuck that he was the one behind the outbreak and that he released the zombies from phenotrans. Tyler will than attack Chuck after saying the phrase ''Now Let's Fade You To The Rushing Shadows In Black''. Death: After Chuck defeats Tyler. he stumbled on some objects on the way and warning Chuck about people kidnapping his 9 year old daughter Katey and dies after first being impaled by his weapon and head getting crushed by the Crane's arm. As Chuck drops on his knees and starts to scream for victory.
CJ Morrison. CJ was a silent insane African-American butcher who took the outbreak as a chance to make ''THE BEST MEAT IN THE WORLD'' and also to murder Chuck Greene and making him his own Meat. Looks. Short Dreads, Tattoos, Big Beard, Black Bloody Butcher Clothes and Black Boots. Weapon. Meat Cleaver. Location. Food Court's Modified Hamburger Fiefdom. Theme. Zardonic Bring It On. Intro: Chuck enters the hamburger fiefdom. But it was changed somehow. There was tables blocking the entrance but Chuck was able to get through and it had a hole that was bloody. As Chuck peaked at it he noticed that it had blades that can only be jammed with a weapon and the body will stay there stuck. As a Butcher came and screamed and he swinged his meat cleaver and did not say a word until he attacked Chuck. Death: CJ stumbled on the treadmill and had no idea and what it was but he thought it was a roller coaster that you go by head first until Chuck screamed 'Well Get In The Hole' and turned on the grinder and the only words CJ said was ''Oh Shit, CJ Morrison is down in hell''. His beard pulls him in and he screamed as his head gets sliced and he accidentally jams it with his meat cleaver and Chuck says the word 'May medieval be your grave' and left the area.
Ricky Frank. Ricky 'Rick' Frank is a shop owner and world famous auctioneer who never fails at his job (Much like Carl Schliff from Dead Rising 2). He went insane during the outbreak. And thinks that selling items like human heads, saws, cars, treasures, human flesh, hanged corpses, more corpses and combo weapons would be a great chance to earn money by believing that surviors are bidders (turned victims) and zombies are not bidders. Looks: Brown Goatee, Light Brown Ponytail Hair, Red Button Shirt, Blue Jeans, Black Trilby and Yellow Sneakers. Weapon: Money Maker (Knife + Six Shooter). Location: Still Creek town. Theme: Celldweller - I Believe You. Intro: Chuck was walking in the town of Still Creek where he had some good memories. As he had some flashbacks when he was fighting Jed in the Junkyard he heard someone saying '1.56 Dollars on a human liver'. Chuck had no idea what was going on in still creek. Until he saw a man doing bets on items that were human parts and other useful items. As Chuck said 'Hey there is a zombie outbreak Mister.' And the man saw him and introduced himself 'Oh hey there sir. The name's Ricky Frank.... And yours.' And chuck recognized who that Ricky was. Ricky was a auctioneer who never failed anytime in his career. He was so famous that Chuck hated him because of his jealousy of his non-failing. Chuck just said that there are not suppose to be bets due to the zombie outbreak. Chuck said 'The name's Chuck Greene and i will kick your ASS' and Chuck punched Rick right in the face and Ricky punched back and took his weapon and said 'How's this Money Maker for your bet kid' And Chuck got back up and raised his fists meaning for battle and he said 'Wanna go Mr Fat Rick' and silently as Rick looked down. He said 'Let's Dance Player'. Death: After Chuck defeats Ricky. Rick stumbled on a stack of cars and informing Chuck that all the combo weapons are his and Chuck and Rick took the weapons on his truck than Chuck kicked Ricky on his head until Rick landed on a rotating saw blade and getting his head sliced in half as he screams in pain and when his head was cut in half and he stopped screaming Chuck says the word 'May bets bid your bidding' and drove back to fortune city.
Mick O'Neal. Mick O'neal was a abusive alcoholic from Canada who pretty much enjoys drinking beer.. After he noticed the Outbreak broke out he didn't care about the outbreak so he just wanted to drink beer and shoot and kill survivors because he was a hillbilly. Looks. Hillbilly Hair and Beard, Tank Top with the Canadian and American flag, unzipped pants, lost 5 teeth, beer belly, boots and military vest. Weapon. Chainsaw. Location. Juggz Bar & Grill. Theme. Celldweller - Narrow Escape. Intro. Chuck Greene was inside the juggz bar and he noticed that the whole place was a mess until he heard someone saying 'HEY *Burp*' And Chuck looked back and he had no idea who he was but he noticed he was abusive. And than the man tells his 'Own Bar' was being a bar fight club before he urinated on a bottle and than he threw the bottle and he just didn't do anything because he didn't care what he did. And than he took his Chainsaw he calls 'Baby' And he than says 'I'm Mick O'Neal and i will kill you for mother CANADA!!!' And attack Chuck. Death. After Chuck defeats Mick. Mick Stumbled and tries to escape but he slipped on his chainsaw and he lands on the ground with a chainsaw through his legs and all of the zombies surround the area and they eat Mick alive as Mick screams in pain as he dies from bleeding.
Oscar Morrison. Oscar Morrison was an exterminator who wanted to spread some gas everywhere on survivors while keeping his holding 10 year old boy Ryan Huntington and 10 year old girl Jillian Kyle hostage. Looks. Long Hair, Spiky Goatee, Blue Exterminator Clothes, Green Protective Glasses and Extermination Equipment. Weapons. Toxic Gas Sprayer And Baseball Bat. Location. Royal Flush Plaza. Theme. Celldweller - The Best It's Gonna Get. Intro. Chuck heard child screaming and the words help and Chuck ran towards Royal Flush Plaza where the scream was heard. And in there he saw two panicking children and a grinning exterminator and Chuck was shocked and screamed at the children ''DON'T WORRY KIDS I'M COMING!!!'' And Chuck kicked him and Oscar landed on his back until Chuck tried to free the kids but Oscar tackled Chuck and said 'That's what you get for attacking Oscar Morrison' and than aimed the exterminator sprayer on the kids as the kids panic and Chuck was able to tackle him and Oscar got sick of Chuck and Attacked Him after he picked up a baseball bat. Death. After Oscar is defeated, he stumbled on the stairs and fell one by one and landed on his back and looked at his gas canisters although mistaking it as a gas mask and giggled and laughed so hard that he said that he would now spray gas everywhere but he didn't have a mask to protect himself. As he put the gas in his mouth thinking it was the mask, he started to cough blood and he said in horror ''W-W-W-WHAT THE HELL. What's Happening To Me???'' and Chuck said in victory ''You injected gas inside of yourself and your gas mask is right here''. As Oscar tried to come up the stairs he just started to bleed from his mouth and than he fell again and a male zombie bit him and he than noticed something. He had grenades and with them he laughed and ending it with the words ''how's this for extermination'' and commits suicide by exploding himself with the grenade until his head and intestines landed on the zombies who ate them and the rope that was holding the Kids on a pipe was releasing and Chuck was able to rescue them before the pipe would even fall on the equipment. Chuck than walked with the children to the safe house.
Donatello Romero. Donatello Romero was an Italian-American mob boss and gangster who ordered his men to kill every survivor in fortune city. He took the outbreak as an opportunity to rob as much stores as possible and doing whatever he wants and keeping fortune city as his own nation which failed miserably. Looks. dark blue business suit, yellow tie, dark blue gangster hat with a yellow ribbon and cigar on his mouth. Weapon. Pistol. Location. South Plaza. Theme. Skillet - Resistance. Intro. Chuck was killing a zombie by snapping it's neck and after he killed the zombie he heard 2 people speaking Italian. As he came closer he saw a business man like 5'11 tall man who he had no idea who he was. The guy's name was Donatello Romero. He was a crime boss and leader of a mafia family and drug cartel called The 'Romero Family'. An Organization who committed crimes in Italy before they moved to the US where their leader Donatello himself became a world famous business man and mafia boss who would slowly commit crimes all over western and southern Europe and little bit in the USA. He ordered his minion to kill whoever is in the his area. As Chuck tackled and threw the minion on the rotating saw (similar to Seymour) killing the minion instantly and Chuck moved the body to the corner after Romero tried to shoot and kill Chuck but he dodged and went hiding from Romero as Romero ordered all of his men to find Chuck. After Chuck killed all of the men Romero than started to shoot, accuse and try to kill Chuck who jumped and climbed on the platform where Romero was standing and where Romero would attack Chuck. Death. After Chuck defeated Don. Chuck accidentally kicks Romero who drops his gun and would fell down the platform and landing on his back and he rolled from platform to platform before landing chest first to a rotating saw and as he screams in pain. he would bleed everywhere and dies on the table as his guts and blood comes everywhere and than a piece of the platform would fall on his head, ultimately decapitating him. It was a brutal death as Chuck looks in horror.
Tom Harrison. Tom Harrison or nicknamed himself the 'Coffee Nightmare' was a barista/serial killer who murdered survivors and military members and collected their heads and placed them all over food court and the next one on his list.... Is Chuck Greene. Looks. Charismatic hair and mustache, butler clothes and bloody apron. Weapon. Exsanguinator And Shotgun. Location. Food Court. Theme. Excision - With You (Sullivan King Remix). Intro. Chuck walks on the food court and discovers decapitated heads everywhere. Chuck was shocked and as he walked and walked and walked he heard a shotgun blast and he ran to get cover and as he hided he saw some sort of butler holding a shotgun and as he went hiding behind the sign of one of the restaurants a survivor ran at the butler asking for help but the butler shoots at the survivor and goes to get a weapon that has a saw blade on the end of a vacuum cleaner and as Chuck was about to save him he butler shoots at Chuck and the butler said 'You would not get in the way of Tom Harrison HA HA HA HA HA'. Tom went to get a machete and his weapon he calls The Exsanguinator and as he put his machete on the victims neck he said 'Deja Vu Kid' and than decapitates the survivor as his body is being sliced and ripped by the exsanguinator. As Chuck accidentally fell and Tom saw him.Tom than walked to him but Chuck was able to counter his machete attack so he threw him away just 2 meters. And Tom took his weapon and he screams and attacks Chuck. Death. After Chuck defeats Tom. Tom stumbled on the wall to wall but he didn't notice his exsanguinator was on. So he than accidentally cut himself as he first cut himself in a machete as his left arm that he just cut plunged into the blades and he screams in pain, he steps on his shot gun and as it fired his legs slipped and his head plunges inside the exsanguinator as he dies immediately. As Chuck says 'Your butlering is over Tommy' as Chuck leaves food court.
Peter Harris. Peter Harris was a dictatoterrorist and the leader of the militia gang called 'Ortiz of destruction' that defends the entrance to the Fortune City Arena. He was born in the Saudi Arabia outskirts before emigrating to the US the same year he was born. He became the only american to become a terrorizing dictator. He serves as the secondary antagonist of the game because he had connections with Tyler Blacksmith's gang by releasing the zombies to Fortune City in order to kill Chuck (Some members of his team is in each area in Fortune City on a mission to Kill Chuck Greene). Looks. US Army Officer with medals and a black peaked cap. Weapons. Pocket Knife and Mercenary Rifle. Location. Outside of the fortune city arena. Theme. Sabaton - Ghost Division. Intro. Chuck was on his way to fortune city arena to stop Tyler until a military terrorist ran at him with a machete and Chuck karate threw him before even the terrorist was swinging it at him and killed him and another terrorist ran at him and Chuck kicked and impaled him. Peter than walked on his podium and speaking with Tyler and they both had an announcement that Fortune City will be known as their kingdom and in the middle of their speech Chuck took a machine gun and opened fire killing everyone as Peter attacks Chuck as Tyler runs inside the arena. Death. When he is defeated. Peter walked to the podium one last time and explains to Chuck that the military is the militia and that they are searching for him. but Chuck than says that he killed them. As of that Peter attacked Chuck only to fail the attack as Chuck kicks him on a military tank arguably firing it on the Door where Tyler entered. Peter however wasn't on the tank. Instead he got impaled through the nose by his pocket knife and his rifle through the abdomen.
Rocky Rumsfeld. Rocky Rumsfeld was a world famous retired boxer, pro wrestler and TIR contestant and current Bodybuilder and Chuck's lifelong childhood friend. He snapped during the outbreak and believed that the outbreak would be a chance to slaughter the zombies and survivors so that he will become a viking. He serves as the enemy turned deuteragonist of the game after you beat him and does appear in each psychopath meeting and cutscenes. Looks. Fur pants, Leather Boots, Eye patch, Long Beard, Viking Helmet and a Fake Scar (formerly) White T-Shirt, Short Hair, Shaved Beard, Black Jeans, Purple TIR Sweater, Black and Purple Shoes and Protective Gloves. Weapons. Battle Axe, Holy Arms and a Modified Motorcycle Shaped Like A Horse. Location. Silver Strip. Theme. Amon Amarth - Guardians Of Asgard. Intro. As Chuck was walking in the silver strip. He saw that he was in an another problem. He heard a motorcycle engine sound approaching him. He noticed that the bike had a horse head tail and seat with armor and one spear. On the seat there was a viking like bodybuilder male with viking like clothes. The guy called himself 'King Odin'. And said he would spill Chuck's blood to Valhalla. He than swinged his axe at Chuck but missed. Chuck than kicked Odin and Odin went into a giant heat seeking rage and attacked Chuck by first hopping on his motorcycle and ride towards him while screaming. Defeat. After Chuck defeats Odin. Odin stumbled on the wall of a restaurant and explains that Odin was not his name in fact his name was Rocky Rumsfeld. Rocky was a skilled retired Motocross Champion, Pro Wrestler and Boxer turned current Bodybuilder... And Chuck's Best Friend since childhood. Chuck and Rocky both hugged each other because they were happy that they reunited so Chuck asked Rocky does he want to investigate the outbreak and since they are Best Friends he accepted.
Brandon Nichols. Brandon Nichols is Chuck's and Rocky's 3rd Friend. He was a Military soldier and SWAT officer and former mercenary and TIR Motocross contestant. He was born in Jamaica before moving to US at the age of 9. And serves as an Enemy turned tritagonist of the game. He also Appears in meetings and cutscenes just like Rocky. Looks. Military Soldier Suit (Formerly) Jamaican Hair, Pink TIR Sweater, Blue Jeans, Blue Tank Top and Brown Shoes. Weapon. Mercenary Rifle. Location. Underground. Theme. Pendulum Mix of Prodigy - Voodoo People. Intro. Rocky and Chuck killed 4 Zombies in the underground but then a military member attacked them for some reason and didn't say a word. Chuck and Rocky knew that they had to get through the guy. Defeat. After Chuck and Rocky beat the solider the soldier stumbled on the wall and he revealed his face. The guy was Brandon Nichols. Brandon is the 3rd best friend of Chuck alongside Rocky. Chuck and Rocky haven't seen Brandon for years ever since Brandon served in the army in Afghanistan. After revealing that it was Brandon the team went to find who was behind the outbreak.
Bobby Sullivan. Bobby Sullivan was a world famous archaeologist and explorer who found 10000 treasures in the world. But he actually was not a archaeological explorer. In fact Bobby was actually a criminally insane mercenary leader who sent his soldiers to kill, torture and torment ancient people. He was in fortune city to steal Poseidon's trident in the Atlantica Casino because he thought some people found the trident underwater and put it on there as a souvenir but little does he know it was just built (He is similar to Donatello Romero since both order their minions to attack the player but both are different, since Don is Italian-American Crime Boss and Crime Family Leader, Bobby is a Mexican-American mercenary and treasure hunter.). Looks. Explorer's Shirt, Pants, Shoes and Backpack. Weapon. Kitchen Knife, Six Shooter. Location. Atlantica Casino. Theme. Blue Stahli - Scrape. Intro: Chuck walked in the Atlantica casino until he heard an order from a person. It was 4 soldiers who took an order from an Explorer trying to get a trident. The guy was named Bobby Sullivan. Sullivan is an american archaeologist and explorer but is actually a criminally insane mercenary who tormented ancient cultural people and stole their treasure and lied to everyone that he found them all by himself. He stole 10000 treasures all over the globe. He saw Chuck and ordered his men to kill him. Chuck was able to kill Bobby's men and Bobby tackled Chuck and took a knife from his backpack. Chuck kicked him away and Bobby ran at Chuck (Ending The Cutscene). Death: After Chuck defeats Bobby. Bobby started swearing in Spanish and than climbed to Poseidon's trident again before Chuck screams that it was built until Bobby realised it was built and screamed ''WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS NOT A TREASURE, IT'S JUST AN OBJECT OH MY GOD WHAT A PENDEJO I AM!!!!'' Bobby fell to the ground almost breaking his back as the trident falls and crushes his head. As Chuck looks and says ''Check the newest Treasure you will find.. in HELL.'' and Leaves the area.
Nikolai Stalin. Nikolai Stalin was a Russian Terrorist and the leader of a terrorist organization who made the zombies. He appears as the minor antagonist of the game. He also has connections to Blacksmith's gang and even the militia. Looks. Russian Hat, Business Suit. Weapon. Tenderizers and Sniper Rifle. Location. Fortune Park. Theme. Newgrounds - Blue Brass Of The Beast. Intro: Chuck was on his way to Tyler Blacksmith's property until his path was blocked by a lot of vehicles on the way with a helipad in the middle and a giant gate in the back. He noticed like a Russian person riding a motorcycle. The man's name was Nikolai Stalin. He was the grandson of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin. But he was also something else of a leader. He was also a Terrorist who terrorized Northern and Southern America. Nikolai jumped from his motorcycle and attempted to kick Chuck from the Helipad but Chuck countered the hit and karate threw him. This began the battle between Chuck Greene and Nikolai Stalin. Death: When Stalin was defeated he fell from the helipad and landed on a running engine. Nikolai attempted to climb to the helipad and attempted to murder Chuck. However Chuck impaled Nikolai on his weapons and Nikolai realizes that he said his last words ''I Always Wanted You... To Do That.'' And Died and Landed on the engine again after he shot himself in the head with his shotgun. The engine slices his face and devoured his whole face. Chuck than jumps from car to car until he gets through the gate and runs towards Tyler's area where a dictator named Peter Harris and his men were and Tyler's minions were in.
Some ideas for the game. Warning: VERY LONG LIST. If you even bother reading all of them tell me your thoughts.
-Allow all vehicles to have engine upgrades. -Make it so you don't have to do a glitch to change the Nighthawk's trail color. -There should be a vehicle condition meter that shows you your vehicle's HP in an aircraft and shows you the condition of your tires if you're in a land vehicle -Allow us to disable a plane's engine in midair again -Update the Rhino so it looks like an Abrams Main Battle Tank or something and not a Stryker APC. -The occupants of the Rhino should be completely immune to melee attacks and gunfire, and should take 75% reduced splash damage if the vehicle is hit in the front, 50% if it's hit in the side or on the roof/ceiling, and only 25% if it's hit in the back. -Make a hangar at the airport that gets used for customizing planes. I do not want to use the helipad, nor do I want the mobile garage gamepass, and going out to the boat customization place just to be able to land properly is kind of ridiculous. -The missile lock-on speed of the Warhawk and Nighthawk should be the same as that of the Hyper Glider, but especially the Warhawk's speed because it doesn't feel very good for ground attacks. -Allow us to turn off lock-on entirely on vehicles with missiles so we can just free aim a shot at a target. -Not vehicle related but put back the ability to place waypoints on the map. I'm guessing they were accidentally removed because of a glitch. -The location where you get locked on to should change to be relative to the vehicle if you're in a vehicle, not relative to the player. -Aircraft should play a warning sound when you get locked on to and fired at by homing missiles. -Fix aircraft hitboxes so hitting them with missiles actually disables them. -Add chaff and flare countermeasures. Flares unlock missiles that are fired at you and have a 15 second cooldown, while chaff stops you from being locked on to for 10 seconds and has a 20 second cooldown. -Add a MiG-15. It would essentially be a Falcon but with missiles instead of bombs. They will be like Warhawk missiles, but only dealing 40 damage. Cost would be $1.25 million. Performance would be exactly the same as the Falcon. -The Nighthawk's stealth mode should have a 30 second cooldown instead of the 15 seconds it has now. -Turning speed in an aircraft shouldn't be based on FPS but rather on the type of vehicle it is. The Warhawk should have the fastest turns since it's, you know, a fighter jet. I'm tired of losing turning dogfights just because the other guy has better FPS than me and I know I'm not the only one. -Add the ability to airbrake in a plane. -The Plane's price should be back to 50k like how it was in Season 1. -Make the Sniper Rifle deal 50 damage. 40 damage is just way too low. -You should be able to play audio in the Nightclub from the DJ Booth. Doors to the Nightclub should be open 24/7 but the robbery itself will still have its cooldown time. -Fix the crashes that happen on some races. -Make the RPG take 15 seconds to reload and maybe occupy the same slot as a grenade or secondary weapon instead of a primary weapon. It shouldn't fire as fast as it does. -Change Frostbite so he can't do the jumping thing anymore and has to use normal flight like how he originally was. -The Jetpack should have an ability that lets its user jump extremely high but consumes 1/3rd of its fuel and has a 15 second cooldown. This jump would be high enough to reach the roof of an average building. It would still retain its flight ability. -Hot Rod should be able to control the speed he runs at. -Remove stamina from hero powers like Voltron and Vanta and Raven, which have a limited sprinting time at the time I'm writing this. -Make the bunker near the airport actually used for something. -Nerf the amount of damage Titan does to be 15 or 20. -Inferno's power should deal fire damage, which does 5 DPS and lasts for 4 seconds. -Buff the range of Phantom's power. -Bring back the Lazerblade. -The Lazerblade's color should be able to be chosen by customizing it at the gun store. -Add weekly discounts on vehicles and customization options, and make certain activities pay double the amount of cash and XP. 1 vehicle goes on discount each week and 5 customization items go on discount. 2 activities pay double. Not only would this be simple to do, but it could keep players interested in playing. -Remove the minigame cooldown. -Add a furniture inventory for the apartment so you can store furniture you don't want to place in your apartment, but that you also don't want to sell. -Open the Mall. Inside the mall there will be various stores where you can buy stuff like furniture for your apartment, larger duffel bags for you to be able to carry more cash in heists, in-game avatar customizations, another gun store that allows you to purchase weapon upgrades (like increased damage, fire rate, clip size, and accuracy,) emotes, gamepasses, and the weekly discounted vehicle. The mall will have some permanent changes for the vehicle. Inside there will be a podium with the vehicle rotating on it and you can go up to it and buy it. For helicopters, however, there will be a helipad on the roof. For planes, there will be a dirt runway behind the mall, very similar to the OG airport. For boats, there will be a small dock on the beach where you can buy the discounted boat and it will have the mall's logo on it. In addition to buying stuff from the mall there will be a heist. In this heist you have to go to the back and open the safe. Inside there will be piles of cash you can steal. It will pay you $10k, or 20k if you are a VIP. -Make it so you can play on the slot machines and other games in the Casino, and win large amounts of cash from them. You can also rob all the slot machines for $500 each, but you can't rob a machine that's in use. Additionally, the Casino stays open 24/7 and the metal fencing part is moved to be in the hallway that goes to the vault. You still have to hack it open from the front desk, though. The heist cooldown stays just like with the Nightclub, but people can still go in and gamble whenever they want. -The Thunderbird shouldn't be affected by popped tires in hover mode. -The Snow Mobile, Rocket Sled, and Light Bike should all be immune to police spikes. -Allow us to upgrade an aircraft's armor to make it more resistant to gunfire. -Allow us to upgrade a vehicle's tires to make them more resistant to gunfire. -The Sniper Rifle and AWP should one-shot car tires to make up for their low fire rate, unless those tires are completely bullet proof. It also makes sense because... well.... they're heavy weapons with high firepower. In real life if you shot a car tire with a sniper it would pop the tire in a single shot and probably damage the wheel as well, depending where the bullet hits. -The Sniper Rifle and AWP should be able to hit headshots to deal 25 extra damage. -All other weapons that don't currently have extra damage for headshots should do 50% increased damage on a headshot, with the exception of explosives. -Grenades should be nerfed to deal 49 damage. Why do they deal as much damage as a tank shell?? -Add a tank destroyer that ignores any explosive protection on other vehicles, and deals 90 damage in a shot with increased splash radius, but has no turret. Just a mounted gun aimed forwards and able to move limitedly up and down and side to side. -The Rhino's cannon should be able to zoom in like a sniper rifle to hit long range targets. -Make it so that players with flying powers actually take damage every time you get a direct hit on them with the Rhino's cannon. -Fix blank hitmarkers. -Add a helmet you can wear that protects you from 10% of damage taken and allows you to toggle thermal vision on and off. Thermal vision turns most of your screen dark but allows you to see other players through walls for a limited distance and even see them if they are invisible. Players would have a bright orange silhouette. The only thing immune to thermal vision would be Frostbite because, well, he's cold, and thermal vision uses heat to see things. Once you buy this helmet you keep it forever and can put it on/take it off whenever you want. It costs $100k. -Allow us to remove Body Armor without resetting character. -Allow us to reset our avatar's entire appearance without resetting. This includes removing prison, cop and superpower clothes, removing the weird thing Titan does to your head, and resetting your avatar's skin color (like when you get burned in the Pyramid and your skin becomes charred black or when you use Phantom's power and you become completely green.) -Add a gas mask that makes you not take damage while in a cloud of Tear Gas for a limited time. Each mask lasts for 1 minute and costs 5k. It shows a time meter on your screen while you are wearing it. -Add a weaponized boat of some kind. -Add a submarine. -Add a casubmarine hybrid with missiles. -Make the underwater area actually interesting or at least just let players go underwater. -Improve loading times if possible. -Make it so that structures like the Pyramid and certain details on the city buildings actually render in when the player is far away, so long as their device can handle it. -Make the Vehicle Radio a standard feature on all vehicles and give anybody who bought the gamepass $500k after taking the gamepass offsale. -Add a badge called "Piracy. It's a crime." for completing every heist and mini-heist in the city.
„I downloaded GTA for free“ – Guide – GTA Online Guide for Epic Games Launcher Players
GTA 5 Online Premium Edition: What's in Epic Games Store Criminal Enterprise Starter Pack?
Get yourself everything you „Starter Pack“ contains, you get properties, vehicles, weapons and clothes for free in a worth of $9.000.000 GTA Dollars. You also get extra $1.000.000 in cash, but this could take up to 7-10 days to get it. All the sales you have will be shown with a dollar sign! Here’s what and how: For property and vehicles open your phone (arrow key up) and go to Internet (arrow key done>enter) Property: (In the internet go to „Money and Services“) Maze Bank West Executive Office (on Dynasty 8) Paleto Forest Gunrunning Bunker (on Maze Bank Foreclosure) Great Chaparral Biker Clubhouse (on Maze Bank Foreclosure) >Senora Desert Counterfeit Cash Factory (if you own the clubhouse, go to the computer there and unlock this property) 1561 San Vitas Street Apartment (on Dynasty 8) 1337 Exceptionalists Way 10 Car Garage (on Dynasty 8) Vehicles (in the internet go to „Travel and Transport“) Enus Huntley S, Invetero Coquette Classic, Grotti Turismo R, Bravado Banshee, Enus Windsor, (Annis Elegy RH8) (on Legendary Motorsports click „Sort by Price“ once) Western Zombie Chopper, Obey Omnis, Pegassi Vortex (on „SouthernSanAndreasSuperAuto.com“ click „Sort by Price“ once) Frogger (on Elitas Travel click „Sort by Price“ once) you can request any aircraft vehicle you own by calling Pegasus on your phone (you can do that in your contacts). The helicopter are an essential vehicle in the game to travel from A to B Dune FAV (on Warstock click "Sort by Price" once) Weapons, Clothing & Tattoos (not on your phone but on the map) Compact Grenade Launcher, Marksman Rifle, Compact Rife are avaliable at every Ammu Nation Gun Shop (Pistole sign at the map) (Stunt Race & Import / Export Outfits, Biker Tattoos)
Some more tipps:
Solo Public Lobby: really worth it if you wan’t a online session for your own/friends and don’t want to be killed by other players randomly. Press ESC + CONTROL and look up for „resmon“ in your search line. You will find a sort of Task Manager. Find GTA5.exe > right click > hold on the process > wait for like 7sec > right click > continue the process. Now all players will be kicked. How to turn off your car radio: Yes, I have been asked about this. If you want to change your radio channel or turn your radio off press Q. What weapons to use as a beginner: Buy the Mikro SMG to shoot out of your car and the Special Carabine to fight NPCs and equip them unconditionally with a silencer and an extended clip as quick as possible. It costs about $40.000 with extensions each. The Homing Rocket Launcher ($75.000) is also an important investment if you need to shoot down helicopters. Also buy Sticky Bombs, they will be really useful. Learn to fly! On the map is a plane sign, which is a flying school. Flying is a really important part in the game and you have to get known with the controlls of it. You also get a bonus of $230.000 Cash if you complete all flying lessons with a gold medal. How do I find people to play heists with: If you have no friends who want to play GTA with you there are of course other opportunities. On specific subreddits like HeistTeams or gtafriends you will find people who are solo players too and need heist members. There are also GTA community discord servers like the one from the youtuber TGG: here. You will never be alone! Weekly Discounts/Bonuses: really worth to look for that. It changes every Thursday at 10 CET. On gtaonline it will be pinned on top of the subreddit. There may be huge sales for cool vehicles and properties (for example 40% off). Sometimes there are double or triple $ and RP events, which is extreme worth grinding. Like for this week 2x for bunker sell (during an 2x money event on the stock of your business the value is already doubled!). Do the Time Trial which you can do once a week to get a $100.000 each. How to drive these races "the right way" and where to find them can you look up on the pinned discount posts on gtaonline. Lucky Wheel: In the casino you can spin the Lucky Wheel every 24h. Prices are Money, RP, sales, clothes and the podium car. The podium car changes with the Weekly Discounts every Thursday and you can with the car every week (Tipp: When it says S to spin the wheel count to 1,2 ,3 in your head to have a higher chancer to get the car). Best investments: For absolute beginners for sure invest in the cheapest High End Apartment Del Perro Heights Apartment 7 ($200.000) on the Dynasty 8 website where you get the opportunity to play your first heists. Play the Fleeca Job then (about $80.000 earnings), where you unlock the sale for a Kuruma ($525.000) which is a must have car for beginners. It’s fully armored and you can literally do every missoins with it because the NPC’s can’t shoot you in there. It can be bought on SouthernSanAndreasAutos**.com.** And if you want to upgrade your helicopter get the Buzzard Attack Chopper for $1.750.000 with machine guns and the essential missiles. In my opinion the best investment you can make to grind for money. It can be requested everywhere for free instead of $25.000 if you are registered as CEO (open shortcut menu with M>SecuroServ>CEO Vehicles>Buzzard). Fast Money: There are plenty of guides on Reddit how to make quick cash in grinding. (Money Grinding) My recommendation: Play Heists with friends who are high level. If you are alone or new with your friends go for Contact Missions (How: ESC >Online>Jobs>Rockstar Created> Missions) Every Contact Mission gives you about $10.000-15.000. The longer you play a Contact Mission, the more money you will get. But on the long run it's more worth it to play the job as quick as possible (in 4-6min $115.000/h and remember with double $ and RP event $230.000/h) Each player in the mission increases the payout by 10%, so best is to play in a full round. (Payouts and other questions for Contact Missions here).
Businesses:
There are plenty of businesses you can run. You own the Bunker business and one M(otorcycle)C(lub) Business . Go to the location of your business, do the setup missions and refill your supplies regualary. In each of this businesses you can improve your production by buying equipment upgrades and staff upgrades (first buy the cheaper staff upgrade then equiment upgrade). You can also buy security upgrades because your businesswill be raided by NPCs (like Police) and trough this you can minimize the probability of raids. The security upgrades doesn't affect your production! (but in my opinion not really worth it because you still can be raided). You can steal or buy supplies. If you didn't bought the upgrades yet, steal the supplies. If you have all upgrades who improve the production of your business buy the supplies for $75.000. The businesses stock will fill in a certain time, but you have to be online in the game! If you have good stock you can sell your products (invite friends for that). Always sell to the best priced location. (Los Santos most of the time) And go in a public solo session, you don't want your products destroyed by some idiot, random player. If your vehicle gets destroyed or you was not able to deliver everything you will lose money. Business is easy money for doing close to nothing + during the time your business fills up you can grind on other Missions or the Special Cargo Crate Missions, whatever you like. Choosing the right location for you business is very important! Look that your businesses are as close together as possible. You will drive crazy going 7 miles all the way up on the map just to look how many supplies you have left. Here's a map for all properties there are, so you can choose the best locations for yourself! Don’t buy the nightclub business as a beginner! You will need the other businesses first to play missions in the nightclub + to get in running you need to pay millions for the 5 mechanics who will farm the money for you. You can switch between beeing a CEO or MC President: Open your shortcut menu with M. .To retire as a CEO go to SecuroServ>Retire. To retire as a MC President go to Motorcycle Club>Disband MC. You can add somebody to your CEO Organization or your Motorcycle Club: to add someone as CEO go to SecuroServ>Hire associates and select who you want to add. As a MC President go to Motorcycle Club>Find prospects and select who want to add. With this function your friends can help you do to deliver your products. Bunker Business: In the bunker you can decide between Manufacturing, Research or both. For money do Manufacturing only. On Research you don't get money, you will unlock weapon upgrades for particular vehicles which also costs money to be customized on your vehicle (Research takes a lot of time and their 51 different weapon upgrades which takes about 7 days if you run it non stop) Doing both may sound smart, but it takes twice as much of the time it would normally take. So doing both is not worth it. If you sell solo sell your stock at $125.000 with no upgrades and at $175.000 with upgrades for one vehicle. For higher stocks invite friends to help you. If you're interested in the number of production, supplies and time it takes: Read it up here. MC Business (Motor Club Business): Your sort of command center for all the businesses will be your clubhouse. The best clubhouse is the Grand Chapparal Clubhouse. It's the cheapest and will be located near your businesses. You can own 5 different MC Businesses ($/hr with staff- and equipement upgrade + recommended location): Cocaine Lockup in Alamo Sea ($46.500/hr); Methamphetamine Lab in Grand Senora Desert ($29.500/hour); Counterfeit Cash Factory in Grand Senora Desert ($27.000/hr); Weed Farm in San Chianski Mountain Range ($24.000/hr); Document Forgery Office in Grapeseed ($12.000/hr). If you're interested in the number of production, supplies and time it takes: Read it up here and the "nerd" version here. Special Cargo Missions: In your CEO Office which is directly located next to your High-End apartment (if you bought the one for 200k) you can grind the Special Cargo Missions. You have to buy a warehouse and source crates. There are three kinds of warehouses: small, medium and large warehouses. The bigger it gets, the more money will it costs but the more you can store in there. You can choose between stealing 1, 2 or 3 crates. Always go for 3 crates. It is the expensivst but you will get the most money out of it in the long run. There is a 5min cooldown between every mission, so people buy a second warehouse to instantly start the next mission when they arrived at the Office (Yes, it's annoys to always wait). Cheapest small warehouse $250.000 (16 crates space, full stock sale $144.000 profit), cheapest medium ware house $880.000 (42 crates space, full stock sale $483,000 ) and cheapest large warehouse $1.900.000 (111 crates space, full stock sale $1,554,000 ). (table of profits and time it needs to fill)If you do solo, sell every 9 crates stored to get only 1 vehicle! Import/Export Business: A CEO Mission (on your Office Computer "Vehicle Cargo"), where you steal cars and source them into a garage. The cheapest garage is $1.500.000 and you can buy in on your Office Computer. There are three catergories of cars: Standard, Mid- and Toprange. The top range cars are the one you want to sell. You can always tune them up for $20.000 and for delivering you get $100.000 which means about $80.000 Profit if you not damage the car. (Sometimes you will be attacked while you steal/deliver the car) There is an algorithm that if you have 10 Standard- and 10 Midrange cars in your garage, you will only get Toprange cars. Alwaystune them up before you sell and never sell Standard or Midrange cars except you really need the money. You always want to go for the Toprange cars to get the most money out.
Final word
These are just some recommendations in how the game works and what variations there are to make fast money. You can still choose your business locations for yourself, but I recommended the best and effectivst (in my opinion). The most important part is to have fun in playing the game. There are pretty good guides on Reddit and also on Youtube. It’s really worth reading/watching these if you want money. The Guides on Reddit are much more precise. But keep in mind, you have to invest plenty of time to get rich. It’s not done tomorrow. And please, don’t be an asshole in the lobbies. Be a friendly and nice player and do not kill players and destroy their cargos. Every GTA Player hates this kind of people and remember, high level players are stronger and will go for revenge. They will target the shit out of you until you just want to quit the game. Have fun playing the game and I hope I could help some new players with my information! I’m sure if there are anymore questions Reddit will help you. Here are useful links to other guides on Youtube or Reddit Please send, maybe better, Youtube and Reddit Guides under this post so I can add the links, thanks. I'm open for improvement on this guide! Youtube Guides: (Playlist) GTA Online Solo Beginner Guide - TGG My personal playlist which helped me a lot Bunker Beginner Guide MC Business Beginner Guide Best Business Guide Best and Worst Business locations - TheProfessional Reddit Guides: GTA Online Mega Guide and Weekly Simple Question Thread - May 14, 2020 <-- is the best with the most information about grinding and different variations to get fast money. The complete CEO/MC solo Guide Special Crate Guide Offices, Warehouses & Crate Missions: CEO FAQ & Guide Index Thanks for reading.
Ever since the introduction of the casino wheel vehicles I've been collecting them all and keeping track of its value(s) in a spreadsheet. With the Coquette D10 that is on the podium this week, my 60 car office garage is now completely filled. Time for some useless stats... If you would have to buy the basic versions off all the vehicles that were given away for free for the full price, it would cost you exactly $102,422,700 . If you would have to buy the exact same version off all the vehicles that have been on the podium for the full price (so including any liveries that were added), it would cost you exactly $104,380,617. If you would SELL all the vehicles that were given away for free on the podium, you would have earned $1,174,750. This is quite low, because you don't get any money for the vehicle itself, just for any extras that were added. Most vehicles will give $0 when sold, the most lucrative one would be the Benefactor Krieger from 2019 week 47 that would sell for $287,500. In the stats above, I counted the Dinka Sugoi twice because it was available to win again in the extended period after the regular week. So I actually have two identical cars. The other vehicle that was available twice is the Progen PR4 in 2020 week 8 (worth $3,536,375) and again in 2020 week 35 (worth $3,535,900) with a different livery when new Open Wheel races and cars were introduced. The most expensive vehicle to win was the Imponte Deluxo in 2020 week 15, worth $4,721,500. The cheapest vehicle to win was the Western Sovereign in 2020 week 27, worth $120,000. That's all the useless stats I can come up with right now. ;-) So what do you think; is R☆ generous for giving away so many valuable vehicles or are they money grabbers because these vehicles are so ridiculously expensive if you need to buy them yourself?
[Casino Image] The massive construction project on the corner of Vinewood Park Drive and Mirror Park Boulevard is nearing completion, radically changing the skyline of Los Santos forever. When the brand-new Diamond Casino & Resort opens its doors, one and all are welcome inside to play, or just to stay in the most luxurious residence in the entire state. More than just a place to let go of your inhibitions and your sense of the passage of time, The Diamond is the one-stop destination for quality entertainment, high-end living and a range of experiences you won’t find anywhere else.
The Casino
[Roulette Table Image] If you're looking to dive into the action, the casino floor has a selection of activities to enjoy. Play against the house using Chips in Three Card Poker, Blackjack and Roulette. Slot Machines with a variety of prizes are also at your fingertips, while Inside Track offers a lounge to watch and cheer along with friends as the drama of virtual horse racing unfolds. Spin the Lucky Wheel in the lobby for chips, cash, and clothing or even the new Truffade Thrax supercar that can be found whirling on the podium during opening week. And be sure to check back each week to see what new high-end vehicle can be won. Check Rockstar Support for details and limitations. Guests looking to push the limits of high-end resort fashion can also choose from the carefully curated rotation of new clothing and accessories in the Casino Store.
The Penthouse
[Penthouse Image] Sitting atop The Diamond is an oasis of luxury for those shopping for a lavish pied-à-terre or just a feature-laden property in which to entertain friends. The Master Penthouse that sits beside the Roof Terrace with infinity pool and stunning views entitles the owner to VIP Membership status including access to VIP Lounges, High-Limit tables, plus a range of special services via the Penthouse phone including aircraft and limousine services and more. Renovate your residence with several upgradeable floorplans including a private Spa with a round-the-clock personal stylist, a Bar and Party area perfect for hosting raging Member Parties and featuring private retro arcade games, and a Media Room to enjoy games of Don’t Cross the Line and contemporary Vinewood cinema like Meltdown and The Loneliest Robot In Great Britain. As an owner, you can select the Penthouse’s color palette and patterns, and cement a place among the LS nouveau riche with a range of modern art from the Casino Store – from refined portraiture to pop art and daring modern sculpture – that can all be moved and placed around your property. With a Master Penthouse you’ll also become a member of The Diamond family, and the family business needs your attention. Help property owner Tao Cheng and The Diamond staff protect their investment from the clutches of a corrupt family of Texan petrochemical magnates in a series of all new co-operative missions. Each mission pays out special Awards for first-time completion and hosting the entire story thread will reward you with a highly coveted, brand-new vehicle free of charge. You can also pickup additional work and odd jobs to earn extra cash and chips with a quick phone call to the Diamond’s head of operations, Agatha Baker.
Check out this website. Seriously. It's a real website and it will give you a fantastic "in-character" look at what the update will bring. This website is better designed and more attractive than some real businesses' websites, believe me.
You've heard the rumors. You want to believe them, and there's only one way to find out. Abandon your preconceptions. Let go of your inhibitions, your doubts, your sense of proportion, your credit rating. The rumors didn't begin to do it justice. Welcome to The Diamond. Grand Opening July 23.
The Diamond is everyone’s playground. Invest in a Standard Membership today and you’ll be a lifelong partner in our project to meaningfully raise the standard of living for the one percent.
VIP Membership
At The Diamond, there are members, and there are members. And if you want to be the latter, you’re only a penthouse key away from enjoying the kind of status that only systemic elitism can provide. Experience Preeminence
Parking Garage
This is not merely a garage. It’s not merely a maximum security, subterranean storage unit. Think of it as an air-conditioned, custom-built, expertly curated museum, where our clients can admire each other’s collections in peace and comfort. Experience Accidents
Valet
Step out of our front door, right into your front seat: our valets are available 24/7, and are trained to never to look in the trunk, never to open the glove compartment, and never to ask questions. Experience Incontinence
Champagne Service
Our client code of conduct states that if any member is seen ordering a bottle of our finest champagne, spraying half of it over the most exclusive clientele in the state, and downing the rest straight from the bottle, our security teams are obliged to loudly applaud. Experience Turbulence
Aircraft Concierge
Going up? Let our concierge service take care of all your pre-flight checks, so you can step right into the cockpit with the engine ready for takeoff. Experience Maintenance
Cleaning Service
We recruit our housekeepers from the most respected crime scene cleanup teams in the state. There is no bodily fluid or potentially infectious material they can’t remove in the time it takes you to find an alibi. Experience Convenience
Limousine Service
Leaving The Diamond can be a traumatic experience, but we know how to cushion the blow. Our resident guests can order a Diamond Limousine to take them almost anywhere in the state, free of charge. Experience Irrelevance
Members Party
Why go to the party, when the party can come to you? If you’re one of our resident members, you only need to click your fingers and we’ll provide the drinks, the music, and the dozens of close personal friends. Experience Flatulence
VIP Lounge
Available exclusively to our resident members, this is the inner sanctum of indulgence, the apex of affluence, the pinnacle of privilege, the high point of high society. Experience Arrogance
High Limit Tables
Welcome to the grown-up table: resident guests are entitled to play in our high-limit suites.
A penthouse at The Diamond is not just a palace. It’s your palace. If you want a private spa, you can have it. Home cinema? Consider it done. Your own personal bar, private arcade cabinets, and office space? Just say the word: Diamond. Experience Prominence
Master Bedroom
Silk sheets, fresh air bottled on the summit of Mount Chiliad, and round the clock access to the greatest roof terrace in Los Santos. Experience Adolescence
Spare Bedroom
We all have that one friend. With a spare bedroom, they’ll have somewhere to crash that isn’t your bidet, and with access to their personal wardrobe they won’t have to keep borrowing your clothes. Experience Fragrance
Spa Room
Your private spa comes with a round-the-clock personal stylist and a hot tub infused with extract of jojoba and a dissociative anesthetic. Experience Interpretive Dance
Bar & Party Area
Why go to a night club, when a night club can come to you? The most exclusive venue in town is the one where you’re in charge of the guest list. Experience Incompetence
Arcade Games
Time to dig out the high-waisted jeans and the fluorescent headband: Diamond Casinos have the exclusive rights to classic arcade games Invade and Persuade II and Street Crime: Gang Wars Edition. Experience Correspondence
Office
Sometimes you need to take care of your affairs, but there’s no reason you should have to leave the lap of luxury to do it. All of our offices come with a gun locker and a hidden safe as standard.
Here, your dreams are reality, and your reality is a dream. Here, every whim can be satisfied, every fantasy fulfilled – no impulse control, no windows, no clocks, and no clearly labelled exits. Welcome to the Diamond standard. Experience Eminence
Table Games
Don't be fooled. Roulette, blackjack, poker - at The Diamond, these aren't games. Every card dealt, every spin of the wheel, every polished quip, every gasp of the crowd, every delusion of grandeur: this is art. Experience Overconfidence
Slot Machines
Here at The Diamond, we understand the fine art of the slot machine. We recognize the split-second reflexes, the years of research and training, the rock-solid intuition and the towering IQ that make a true master. That’s right. We’ve been waiting for you. Experience Subservience
Inside Track
Horse racing is the sport of kings, and Inside Track is the only way to experience it – the drama, the majesty, the excitement, the perfectly simulated aroma of freshly cut turf and hot manure - all without leaving the comfort of a bespoke, air-conditioned suite. Experience Tumescence
Lucky Wheel
Some people say that fortune favors the brave. Here at The Diamond, we’d rather say that destiny favors those with a full membership. Spin the wheel once a day, and you’re guaranteed a massive dose of self-importance every time.
Exclusive fashion. Unique designer artwork. There are some things in life that money can’t buy. But don’t fret. Our in-house store offers a rotating selection of tastefully curated items that can be purchased with Chips.
The newly renovated casino is located at the racetrack in east Vinewood Hills, by the highway. It is owned by Tao Cheng.
Brucie is making a return as a character in this update
In the casino you can play a number of games, including:
Three Card Poker
Blackjack
Roulette
Slot Machines
Retro Arcade Games (?)
There is a wheel you can spin once per day in order to earn prizes like RP, GTA$, discounts, clothing, and even high-end vehicles.
There is a horse-racing and betting component, although it is unclear if it is only simulated and interacted with via the "Inside Track" room of the casino, or if the horse racing actually takes place in the game world, instanced or not.
The casino has a penthouse/residential component to it. Owners of the Master Penthouse can upgrade their residence with a private spa, a bar and party area, and a media room. Residents will also be able to spend chips on art and collectibles at the Casino Store which can be used to decorate the penthouse.
As a penthouse resident, you will get access to the business aspect of the casino, requiring you to work with Cheng to prevent a rich Texan family from taking over the casino. In addition to this storyline, you can do side jobs for the casino to earn GTA$ and chips.
The casino has a store that accepts chips as payment. You can use the chips to buy collectibles and decorations for your penthouse as well as clothing and accessories.
If you think I should add something to the summary, please let me know in the comments.
Also, if there is any other detailed information I can include elsewhere, I'd love to hear it. Particularly in analyzing the videos and screenshots and identifying new cars, etc.
OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…5
Continuing “Hey, Viv!”, I say, as we’re all being shuttled onto the bus which will take us to our hotel, “Toss me one of those miniatures, if you please. Yeah. Of course, Vodka’ll do. It’s bloody dusty round these parts.” Viv chuckles and asks if anyone else wants anything. He’s a consummate scrounger and somehow sweet-talked a demure and pulchritudinous female Air China cabin attendant out of her phone number, Email address, and a case of 100 airline liquor miniatures. That he looks like a marginally graying version of Robert Mitchum in his heyday and speaks fluent Dutch, French, and Italian might explain his success. I mean, a guy with four ex-wives can’t be all wrong, right? He’s a definite outlier in this crowd. We could be characterized as a batch of aging natural geoscientists who collectively, sans Viv, add up to an approximate eight on the “Looker” scale. Besides the years, the mileage, the climatic, and industrial ravages, it’s a good thing we all have expansive personalities, as most of us are dreadful enough to make a buzzard barf. But, save for Viv, no one presently here is on the make. Oh, sure; we’ll all sweet talk some fair nubile into a free drink or a double when we really ordered a regular drink, but we’re all married, most terminally, that is, over 35 years and counting. The odd thing is that save and except for Viv, none of us married folk had ever been divorced. That is strange, considering that the global divorce rate hovers around 50%, and we are often called to be apart from kith and kin for prolonged periods. However, we are always faithful and committed to our marital units and those vows we spoke all those many long decades ago. But, hey, we’re all seriously male and not anywhere near dead; and there’s no penalty for just looking, right? Continuing. We’re all loaded on a pre-war, not certain which war, by the way, bus which stank of fish, kimchee, and diesel fuel. We really don’t care even a tiny, iotic amount. It’s free transport, we’re tired of traveling, and not keen on walking any further than we absolutely have to. Viv has been passing out boozy little liquor miniatures, and I’ve been handing out cigars since I bought a metric shitload back in Dubai Duty-Free and somehow got them all through customs. We didn’t light up, as there was neither a driver nor handler present. So, we figured we’d all just wait on the cigars, and concentrate on having a little ground-level “Welcome to Best Korea” party until the powers that be got their collective shit together and provided drivers, herders, and handlers. We sat there for 15 long minutes. Being the international ambassadors of amity and insobriety, we started making noises like “Hey! Where’s our fucking driver?” and “I am Doctor Academician! Of All State Russian Geological Survey! How dare you make me wait? ” Suddenly, a couple of characters in ill-fitting gray suits and fake Rays Bans are outside the bus having a collective meltdown. Somehow, someone fucked up and put us on a ‘regular’ bus and not the ‘VIP’ bus. In other words, we got to see what the locals really got to ride around Pyongyang on instead of our supposed to be impressed by the bus that wasn’t there; but was now just arriving. A spanking new purple-and-chrome Mercedes long-haul bus shows up. It even has our group name emblazoned above the placard that normally tells where the bus is headed or who it is for: “’국제 석유 지질 과학 연합’ [Gugje Seog-yu Jijil Gwahag Yeonhab] or ‘International Union of Petroleum Geological Sciences’”. We are brusquely ordered off our present bus and into the opulent, obviously bespoke, bright yellow faux-leather interior Mercedes-Benz Tourismo RH M. It’s so new and so obviously a ploy to get us to think that all things here are so new and opulent, it even smells of that new car, ah, bus, aroma. “Well, we’ll take care of that soon enough”, I muse, as the bus is equipped with ashtrays and we’re going on the scenic route to our hotel, which is only 25 or so kilometers from the airport. However, it was announced that it’ll take us about 2 hours to get to our hotel since we need to see the city in its best light and get a feeling for the town if we should ever find ourselves lost and alone. We all know what’s going on. They’re getting our rooms ‘ready’ for our arrival and need some extra time to make sure everything’s all wired in and transmitting properly. “Guys”, I muse to our new handlers, “I’ve been to the Soviet Union, pre-wall fall. I stayed in places where I was definitely among the first westerners ever to grace their porticos. We’re a busload of natural scientists, of eight different nationalities, covering the economic spectrum from staunch capitalism to sociable socialism to hard-core communism. You even think for a second we’re going to spill any beans about anything you’d find interesting or useful? Think again.” In fact, it would become a running joke between us all to see what sort of fake bombshells we could drop into the normal conversation what would give the listener’s the greatest case of the jibblies. But for now, our bags were all loaded into the cargo compartment of this very, very nice, I must admit, mode of conveyance. Our handlers: ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’, are all seated upfront and please with their latest tally of bodies. We have a couple of shady fellow travelers with the knock-off Ray-Bans and shiny gray suits that just appeared out of the woodwork in the back, seated by the loo, watching over all of us, and we’re going on a fucking city tour, whether we like it or not. We’re all present and accounted for. Let’s keep our camera in our bags for the time being as the drinking and smoking lights had just been lit as the bus fired up its new German-engineered and machined precision diesel engine. The bus rumbled to life and after a moment or two of checking that all dials, gauges, and indicators were where they were supposed to be; without so much as a cursory glance, we pulled out into traffic. Except there was none. Not another bus, pushbike, tap-tap, scooter, car, truck, hover-board, or motorcycle in sight. Nothing. Seems we were a big deal. They shut down the main drag so we wouldn’t be encumbered by such proletariat things like traffic jams or people-things cluttering the roadway, clambering for a look at the Western scientific cadre. So, away we whizzed, sans traffic and into the very belly of the beast, and onward; eventually, towards our hotel. Our handlers were very kind to point out passing scenes of interest. “Look, look! There’s the Potong River. Notice all the lovely birds, ‘eh what? See the Norwegian Blue? Beautiful plumage!” “See here, look. Here’s the Taedong River. Many forms of fish in the river. Maybe we’ll see some fishermen. If you like, we can stop, and ask them about today’s catch.” We all declined, as we were certain that the fish the ‘random fisherman’ we’d talk to was flown in fresh from elsewhere earlier in the day. Besides, we were comfortable. We had our drinks, our cigars, and we were leaving the driving to someone else. After being driven around the city and seeing all the wonderful monuments, like the faux Arch of Triumph, which looks exactly unlike its namesake Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile in Paris. The Arch of Reunification, a monument to the goal of a reunified Korea, which, by necessity, is unfinished. Then there’s the Tomb of King Tongmyŏng, where people are lining up, just dying’ to get in. Finally, we all called for our hotel, the Yanggakdo, after yet another mausoleum, the Kumsusan Memorial Palace of the Sun. Arches or tombs. Such a stunning array of monuments and places of less than moderate interest. We were interested in Mirae Scientists street (Future Scientists street). It is a street in a newly developed area in Pyongyang to house scientific institutions of the Kim Chaek University of Technology and its employees. But we were told that it was too late, there was not much there to see, we needed to express written permission to visit, and we’d be going there tomorrow or next week. We wheel into the parking lot of the Yanggakdo Hotel and are immediately unimpressed by the pseudo-Baroque concrete fiasco that appears to stand, wobbly, before us. It’s a page right out of the Soviet Construction-For-The-Masses Handbook. A cold, gray concrete edifice with multitudes of seemingly little, tiny windows. A perfect metaphor for our travels thus far; look at the expansiveness of Best Korean wonders, through this pinhole. However, we judged too soon. We were told to go inside and check-in, whilst our luggage would be de-bussed for us and handled by the expertly efficient hotel staff. The lobby was opulent, tastefully laid out in earth tones of facades of veneers of marble, granite, some garnet-mica schist, if my hand lens doesn’t lie, some Prepaleozoic anatectic migmatite, displaying intricate and intense plication, xenoliths, and graphic delineation of minerals by segregation through melting points. There was a gigantic well-appointed and well kept up aquarium, complete with snuffling sharks and nuclear-submarine sized groupers. Very handsome indeed. Impressions increasing slightly. Then we see that there’s a bloody casino on the bottom floor of the hotel, several bars interspersed throughout the hotel, and karaoke, of which I’m not terribly fond, but some of my European counterparts almost swooned at the prospect. There are a large pool and weight rooms/gymnasia, saunas and places to relax outside of one’s room, but still under the watchful eye of the thousands of ill-concealed video cameras at every turn. “Covert surveillance” may be a thing in Best Korea, but it’s a practice still leaves a lot to be desired. The Eastern Siberian Russians back before the wall fell were more covert with their obvious button audio microphones woven into the fabric covering the headboard of your Intourist bed than the Best Koreans here. Their cameras were ‘disguised’ as flower arrangements, overhead lights, and speakers inexplicably placed into things like standing ashtrays, refuse bins, and randomly placed holes in the wall. The floors were all covered with exquisite what looked to be hand-woven rugs of most vibrant crimson and gold; the usual Communistic colors. Always with some sort of floral pattern or pattern that’s supposed to be reflective of nature, as I was told. Evidently, for workers to remember what nature was as they don’t get out much with 14 to 16 hours workdays here in the Worker’s Paradise. Enough of the travelogue; we all wander up to the front desk, and each with their own passport in hand, request our reserved rooms. We supposed that we would all have rooms on different floors as the reservations were made, expired, re-made, juggled, rebooked, allowed to expire, re-jiggered, and finally formalized a scant week before we left the UK. Nope. No such luck. We were all on the 39th floor. The place boasts 47 floors, of which, the top floor is a revolving restaurant. Evidently, food tastes better when you’re rotating. However, it won’t spin unless you first buy a drink. We had that thing whirling like a NASA centrifuge after its discovery the second night. Yeah, all 12 of us are bivouacked on the 39th floor. A floor with approximately 30 rooms. I guess we could have played “Room Roulette” and see who got which room and who’s luggage. Or we could switch every day or two to drive our handlers nuts. Or, we could just take our assigned rooms, which were conveniently located one empty room apart. Meaning, no one had adjoining rooms. Why? Fuck if I know. We didn’t spend much time in our rooms, and that time was either sleeping or showering. We’d all meet at the bar, casino, restaurant, karaoke, bowling alley (all three lanes) or actual meeting rooms every once in a while when we thought we should get together and compare notes. It was the most inexplicable situation. Plus, we spent an inordinate amount of time waiting on the fucking elevators to take us to our room. These elevators, and if you think you’re going to get a batch of aging senior scientists to schlep it up 39 floor’s worth of stairs, think again; are the slowest elevators in the civilized world. And that was the consensus of scientists representing not only Europe and North America, but Russia as well. 15-25 minutes added to each journey, up or down; stopping on every floor, except 5, on the way down.. Jesus Q. Fuck, dudes. If you can’t construct a bleedin’ elevator that works better than those at the Sozvezdie Medveditsy Guest House in Lesosibirsk, Eastern Siberia; then I suggest you seriously rethink your plans for world domination and new world order. Grako and Erwin once, while waiting for the fucking elevator, figured out that we were earning some US$25 each just to wait for the lift to arrive and take us to our rooms. Every day. Sometimes several times per day. With that, we all agreed to toss our “waiting time” funds into a kitty and on our last day of captivity here, blow it all in the hotel casino. Whatever became of that would be donated to the Koreans we thought most deserving of our largesse. Would it be our handlers? How about the Korean Scientists we’d be meeting? The affable and most accommodating concierge? Or that plucky little Korean charwoman who was always on our floor and kept everything spotless, right down to our freshly laundered and pressed field clothes and newly polished field boots; done without our requesting or knowledge? Only time would tell. It could be a fortune or it could be bupkiss. Just like our expectations of the Heavenly Kingdom where we were currently sequestered. As it was, with our official protestations, they kept only photocopies of our passports as we roundly refused and threatened a full-scale karaoke battle right here in the lobby if they didn’t relinquish our passports immediately. I had broken out my nastiest cigar and was primed to offend. With that, we all had our keys and trooped over to the elevators for our first, of many, inexplicable waits. We made many uncharitable and potentially nasty remarks about the Anti-Western posters that made up some of the wall décor. Once we finally made it to our floor, we all fanned out to find our rooms. Viv found his first and was quite pleased to report to the rest of us that there was a “Welcome” basket in his room. We all hoped that we would be receiving one a well. I was in room 3914; which I considered a close call, but later only wondered as there was no 3913. Upon entering, I saw it was 1980s Hotel 6 opulent, but with an excellent over-city view. True it was late, dark, and the city was only somewhat lit up; I was looking forward to the view of the town in full daylight. The room had a ‘king’ bed; that is if the king in question was Tutankhamen, the stubby, Egyptian boy king. The bed had no mattress pad and no box spring but it was hard enough for my liking. Many of my compatriots didn’t agree and complained bitterly. They eventually received thin mattress pads for all their kvetching. There was an ancient Japanese color television, which only had 2 English language channels - Al Jazeera and the BBC, which was on a dated news loop. Watching the local channel is amusing though; the ads for ‘personal enhancements’ were hilarious, even without understanding a word of the language. There were a couple of chairs and a low table, built-in dresser drawers for our clothes, a rusty and probably unusable room safe with corroded batteries, a small table built out of the wall that would serve as my travel office, and would-you-believe, a rotary telephone; how’s that for nostalgia? There was an old-model radio built into the nightstand next to the bed. I was very surprised to find it not only received AM, FM but shortwave as well. I had brought along a pair of Bose headphones and during some rainy down days, spent many fun-filled, and I mean that sincerely, hours DXing from the comfort of my ‘enormous’ king bed. Beyond that, the room was very nondescript. Like any other of the millions of rooms in hotels around the world that unlike here, aren’t claiming a 5-star rating. I mean, it was clean, if not a little long in the tooth. But didn’t smell too terrible, even after I took care of that with my Camacho offerings. It was utilitarian, everything worked, even the water pressure, which surprisingly could strip off layers of one’s skin if you weren’t careful. The bathroom, though no Jacuzzi, had a large enough bathtub for the occasional soaking period. Western accouterments in the bathroom were also welcome additions. My knees can’t handle the traditional squat-holes any longer. There were an electric teapot and several brands of tea, but no coffee. A quick “Gee! I sure wish I had some coffee!” to the four walls and damned if 30 minutes later, a porter didn’t arrive to replenish my tea and courtesy in-room coffee… There was a small Japanese brand in-room refrigerator which I thought might house a mini-bar. Oh, no! It was actually a complimentary larder stocked with all sorts of Best Korean goodies. Multiple cans of Taedonggang beer. Several bottles of Pyongyang Soju, in various flavors ranging anywhere from 16.8 to 53 percent alcohol by volume. My fridge was skewed towards the right-hand side of the bell curve; the more heavy-duty boozy side. Evidently, my reputation had preceded me again. There was a selection of German-style wheat beers from the Taedonggang Brewery and the more familiar ales, steam beers, and lagers. There were some imported beers like Heineken, Bavaria, Pils, a couple of Japanese brands: Asahi and Kirin, and something called ‘Hello Beer’ from Singapore. There were also ‘sampler’ bottles of Apricot Pit wine, and a couple of high-alcohol fruity liquors made from constituents such as apple or pear, and mushrooms. There were also special medicinal liquors like ‘Rason’s Seal Penis Liquor’. That is going home with me unopened. There were a couple of bottles of local sake, called Chonju. Finally, there was a couple ‘samplers’ of homemade alcohol known as Makkoli. Plus there was something called ‘Corn Grotto’, which for the life of me, looks and tastes much like a very passable Kentucky Sippin’ Bourbon. I put our concierge on instant danger money the very next day. He’s yet to source me more than a fifth of the stuff so far. I found that there is a popular drink here which mirrors the Yorsch of Mother Russia. Beer and soju can be mixed to create *somaek’; a foamy, frothy, funky drink of many flavors, depending on the soju chosen. Is ethnoimbibology at thing? The science of how different cultures drink and the effects of drinking culture on different societies. If not, now I have another Ph.D. to pursue after I endow a chair at some likely Asian university. Anyways, in everyone’s room was a “welcome” basket, just chock full of Best Korean goodies. Postcards, stamps, ads for coin sets, stamp proofs and other goodies that could be purchased at the hotel. There was a field notebook, which I thought was a very nice addition, newspapers, cookies, crackers, biscuits, candies, fruit drinks, and some fresh fruit; although tamarind chewies and durian chips aren’t on my list of personal favorites. There were a couple of tour books, just chock full of staged photos. These were very nice as well, as so far, we haven’t had much time for shopping outside of government stores or smaller family-run shops in town or out in the boonies. A few of us were hungry and decided to see what the hotel had to offer room service-wise. Bupkiss. But, they did have a selection of restaurants. There is a Chinese restaurant, a European restaurant, and a Korean restaurant on site but they all serve the same food...a Best Korean attempt at western food. And it was weird being the only ones in the restaurant even though it was fully staffed. We grazed lightly and decided to do some late-night perambulations around our hotel. Our handlers admonished us to stay within the confines of the hotel, or see them if it was absolutely necessary to go walkabout. In the hotel, we were on our own. We found that there were tunnels in the hotel’s basement. The basement tunnels were a real bonus. There’s a bar with pool tables, a karaoke room, bowling, and a massage parlor, where I was beaten and pummeled into submission by tiny, diminutive, little Korean lassies fully 1/5th my size. It was wonderful. There was a hairdresser’s, who were completely befuddled by my shoulder-length silver-gray locks and full gray Grizzly Adams beard. They did provide a lovely shampoo/cranial massage though for the equivalent of US$2. There were a couple of shops selling Chinese goods rather than local stuff, which was sort of disappointing, a cold noodle bar, and another casino. No shops selling Korean Communist propaganda posters, as I wanted to augment my Soviet-era collection. Perhaps I’ll find something in-country later on. We were shocked to find that the casino had WiFi that was uncensored and we were able to access; after a fee of liquor miniatures and a cigar or two. We were supposed to have access to the global internet, not local intranet, from the universities that we would be visiting. However, all of that was under the heavily squinting eyes of handlers and guys in shiny suits wearing fake Ray-Bans. I still had my secret satellite internet lash-up available, but that was iffy, a pain in the ass to set up, and ridiculously expensive. However, it did work on the 39th floor and the times I used it instead of wandering down to the tunnels, no one appeared to be the wiser. Thus far. So typically, we’d just head to the basement casino with our laptops, iPads, and phones. Bam! Robert’s your Sister’s Husband, we could connect more-or-less free with the outside world; hence how you are reading this now. Herro! “Yes, I’d sure like another beer. This time a porter, if you please.” The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain. Or the more they put into locks, the easier they are to pick. Besides, we were told we’d have access to unfettered and free internet. OK, so we just found it for ourselves. Whaddya expect? We’re scientists, motherfucker, back off. Ahem. Back to reality. The breakfast buffet the next morning had a wide choice of Asian and Western food, although the choices seemed to be the same every day. The main event was to beat the Chinese tourists to the egg station every morning. Breakfast always included fried eggs, a limited selection of pork, kippered fish, potatoes, rice, fruit, and a very Titanium-dioxide-white white bread After a while, I took to going to the small market behind the lobby, buying some imported Chinese or Japanese nibbly bits and heading to the tunnels for a few breakfast beers before the long hard day’s work. It took almost a week, but I gained the trust of some of the workers in the tunnels and they showed me the on-site microbrewery at the hotel. It produced very passable, and very, very cheap beers of several varieties. Liquid bread. Beer. Is there nothing it can’t do? After breakfast our first day at the hotel, we were told to meet in the Conference Room “Il-sung” as we were going to have a ‘Welcome foreign imperialist scientists’ introduction and indoctrination. Besides our handlers and the shiny-suit squad, there were several Korean folks we didn’t recognize. These were students, scientists, and scholars from the Kim Chaek University of Technology, Kim Il-sung University, the Pyongyang University of Science and Technology; all hailing from Pyongyang, and the University of Geology from North Hwanghae Province. “Oh, marvelous”, Erlen remarked, “It’s going to be a bloody Chautauqua. We’ll be here all day.” “Well”, I replied, “It could be worse. We could be on a bus headed off on another unscheduled road trip.” As we found our seats, our Korean counterparts were busily setting up portable screens, like the ones your grandfather had for showing his 2.1 Googleplex worth of travel slides every Christmas or Thanksgiving get-together. They had a couple of ancient Chinese brand laptops that could have doubled for body armor, they were so thick and heavy. While they fiddled with running cords for the overhead projectors and 16mm film projector; yes, it was going to be movie time as well, the hotel’s restaurant folks wheeled in carts laden with scones, cupcakes, and other sweet sorts of bakery. Another cart was wheeled in with pump-pots of hot water, tea, and coffee. Usual scientific meeting fare. There was one final cart that made the day bearable. It held a pony keg of hotel micro-brewed beer on ice, with several dozen frosty mugs available for all who wanted to partake. There were instantly 12 mugs that were spoken for. I grabbed a cold beer and wandered around the conference room, sipping beer, chewing on an unlit cigar, and just trying to be pleasant to our hosts and their scientific guests. I was surprised when one North Korean professor, who spoke amazingly British-tinged English, offered me a light for my cigar. “Is smoking allowed here?” I asked. “Allowed?” he laughed heartily, “My good man, it’s practically a prerequisite.” “Here then”, I said, offering him a nice, unctuous Camacho, “Try one of mine.” Dr. P'ung Kwang-Seon of the North Korean University of Geology became my instant and lifelong friend at that moment. We had a very nice chat, much to the chagrin of the gray suit cadre, who could hear what we were talking about, but probably didn’t understand anything beyond every 8th word. After a while, we were asked to take our seats, after refreshing our drinks, and introduced to the group of Korean geoscientists we’d be interacting with during our stay here in Best Korea. I tried to record every name, but between the students, other scholars, and professors from the various universities, I decided I’d ask for a list of participants once the day had worn on. After all, they had all our names, references, and resumes if the thick folio they kept referring to was any indication. There were a couple of hours of introductions, as every one of the Korean geoscientists there introduced themselves, mostly through translators, told of their personal area of specialty, and their latest work. Most were what would be considered geoscientists, but oddly enough, not one that you would consider a petroleum geoscientist, however tangentially. There were geomorphologists, structural geologists, petrologists, mineralogists, marine geologists, engineering geologists, and seismologists. However, there were no stratigraphers, sedimentologists, paleontologists, or geochemists. We were all geoscientists, but apart from the obvious Korean:English disparity, it was as if we spoke different scientific languages as well. That would be our first hurdle to overcome. They had no oil industry here; none whatsoever, therefore why one would bother with the geosciences that fed directly into petroleum? That, in and of itself, would make it difficult to explore for oil in the country. Couple that with the fact that they’re so insular, think their version of ‘science’ is the best, at least that’s the official line, and think all other’s ‘science’ is capitalistic, substandard, and inferior doesn’t bode well for your country discovering anything either oily or gassy. We were having another conclave around the beer keg, ack, err…a ‘coffee break’ and I mentioned this fact to my scientific colleagues. “Guys”, I need input here, “We’re going to get precisely nowhere if they won’t even acknowledge that they have major problems from the start.” Ivan replies, “Very true. I’ve seen this before back home. You get a group so entrenched in their own little corner of science, they can’t even accept or acknowledge that others exist. Not only exist but actually know more about a certain problem than do you.” Dax joins the fray, “Sure, that’s very true, but who’s going to tell them this unfortunate fact? They could take that as a personal, national, and global insult. Imagine you’re at an international conference and a bunch of foreigners walk in just to tell you you’ve been doing it all wrong for the last 75 years.” I add, “Remember, though. These characters are scientists as well. I think it’ll be a good measure of seeing what sort of science and scientist we’re dealing with here. If they are truly researchers, they’ll listen to and evaluate what we say as for veracity and accuracy. If they’re just a bunch of Commie goons; no offense, Comrade Academician Ivan, they’ll get all pissed off, kick us out, and we get to go home and enjoy our triple Force Majeure pay.” Ivan walks over and deliberately steps on the toes of my newly polished field boots. “In Soviet Russia, field boots walk on YOU.” He laughs in his heavily inflected, and scary, Soviet-era speech… “Yes, I agree”, Joon adds, “But who is going to address this issue with our hosts? Perhaps one of our Russian comrades, as they are, or were, more politically aligned with our Korean friends and perhaps best understand the issue?” Ack speaks up, grinning maniacally, “No, I disagree. We should have the one person here who so encapsulates the ideologies and political leanings that they love to hate here so much. You know; the quiet, diminutive, and soft-spoken North American…” Dax recoils, “Oh, no! I’m not going out in front of this mob of ornery Orientals…” I smile wanly and tell Dax to cool out. “Relax, Dax. They’re talking about me.” “Oh, yes”, a collective group of voices replies, “Yes. Let out fearless Team Leader break the bad news to our Eastern Colleagues. That way we can gauge their reactions to being bounced around scientifically by a member of the Evil Capitalist Cartel.” “OK”, I reply, “I’ll do it. But be forewarned, my fine feathered fiends. I get stuck on a topic that’s not precisely my bailiwick, I’m going to throw your ass to the wolves. Remember, we’re all in this together.” Whoops, and catcalls were reduced to mumbles and ‘Aw, fucks.’. Chautauqua resumption was called and I asked for the floor. It was a bit off the agenda, but since they’ve been chewing the air for the last several hours, they understood it would be appropriate for us to at least try and get a word in edgewise. I downed my beer, and grabbed a fresh one as what I was going to say was going to be harsh, cut-and-dried, and rather pointed. But delivered in a pleasant manner. I hoped. This all had to be filtered through a series of translators, one for general conversational Korean and another for the more technical and scientific transliterations. I realized I was going to be up here for a while. So, I brought a cigar. One way or another, I was going to deliver our pronouncements and hell, I may as well be comfortable while doing it. . “Greetings and felicitations, my Eastern Colleagues. Let me first say how nice it is to be here in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as part of the ….” I’m going to fast-forward through all the flowery bullshit and introductory happiness; I’ll going to just cut to the guts of the matter. “…Now, you do know why there has been virtually no oil, gas nor any other hydrocarbon related deposit discovered here in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea?” I asked by way of a rhetorical question. I sipped my beer and lit my cigar. In for a chon, in for a won. I let the buzzing subside on the side of our eastern counterparts. “Because, and please do not take this as insulting or derogatory, but as a statement of irrefutable fact, no one with the proper training nor experience has been looking. You’re historically guilty of applying the science incorrectly and letting dogma and politics guide your search, instead of the scientific method and the facts. Geology, like all natural science, is just as truth based on the facts for a capitalist as it is for a communist. Reality is not influenced by your beliefs, be they scientific or political, secular or spiritual, ‘trusted’ rather than ‘thought’; any more than by your wish that it wouldn’t rain today during a raging thunderstorm.” Little Boy over Hiroshima was dropped with less effect. Our Democratic People's Republic of Korea colleagues erupted into a chaotic mixture of stuttering, internecine yelling, accusations, and sputtering. Calling for decorum, I figured that since I was this far gone, I may as well push the plunger all the way to the bottom. “Gentlemen, I do not denigrate the science of geology as taught and practiced here in Best Korea.” I actually said that, sort of a slip of the tongue. Continuing, “However, one would not fish for Bluefin tuna from a rowboat in a pond with a fly rod. One does not hunt bear in the city with a slingshot. Just as one doesn’t search for oil and gas with mining engineers, geomorphologists, and seismologists.” I let that sink in and after the translation, they calmed a bit and wanted to hear the rest of what I had to say. I could sense a couple was less than thrilled with what I had to say, but forging onward… “One fishes for Bluefin tuna in the deep ocean with huge rods, reels and a specialist boat captained by someone with deep experience in hunting the elusive fish. One hunts bear in the proper environment, the taiga or forest, with the proper tools and guided by one with the education, learnedness, and experience to know how to make the hunt come out successful.” Hit them with some analogies they can relate to and digest. Now, go for the carotid. “Just like one does not hunt oil and gas without stratigraphers, sedimentologists, geophysicists, petrophysicists, and other oil and gas experts who have the education, experience, and knowledge to know where to look. Knowing which environment looks most conductive to hide your quarry, if you’ll pardon the pun, and how best to find them, the guys who know how to corral and de-risk them once you find them, and the engineers and technologists who know how to bring them to the surface so they can be utilized.” They had stopped being irritated and were listening in rapt attention. “My colleagues and I have spent the last few days going over, in detail the geology of your country. There is nothing we can see that would preclude the development, entrapment, and preservation of economic quantities of oil and gas. Ture, the geology is quite complex as is the structural history of the entire peninsula. That’s one other thing you will have to accept. Geology doesn’t give the tiniest shit about political boundaries. One must look at the big picture, and that doesn’t stop at some man-made borders. Ignore that fact at your peril, because if you continue to view the geology here as not existing across political boundaries, you are preadapting yourself for failure.” Drs. Ivan, Volna, and Morse make certain that everyone sees the ex-Soviets agreeing with the bushy-bearded, cigar-chomping American capitalist. “So,” I said, hoping to bring this little spit-balling session to a fortuitous close, “If we can have an agreement; scientific agreement, on these points, then I am certain we can find a way forward with not only this discussion but the program we can devise for the best Korean (notice phase shift?) geologists to take the project forward both scientifically soundly and economically successful.” My North Korean counterpart gets up from his seat in the conference room, goes to the keg, taps a couple of beers and walks up to the podium where I was standing. “Thank you, Dr. Rocknocker, for saying what needed to be said”, he spoke in perfect English as he handed me a beer. I grinned and gratefully accepted the beer. “Why, Dr. Chang Kwang-Su”, I said, as that was his name, “You old fraud. You do speak English; and very well, I must add.” “Yes, almost all of us do”, he relayed, “But, as you said, we are most reserved. We were more or less under orders of the ‘most illustrious’, to play coy, and act as if we spoke no English.” “I see.” I said, “I’ve worked in several FSU countries as well as Russia and saw that there as well. I guess old habits die hard.” “That they do, Doctor.”, he replied, “But, we must now tell you the truth. We knew exactly what you said is true, and we agree. We are not as totally insulated from the outside world as some suspect.” “Well, I was going on what your superiors related to us. Like the police that had all their toilets stolen, I had nothing else to go on.” I replied. “Ah, ha! Quite!”, he chuckled, “We had long suspected that we were lacking in certain areas of scholarship. What you said cements that fact as it was an independent conclusion. We can now present that to our superiors with the caveat that unless we bolster work and training in these areas, the hunt of hydrocarbon resources here will be for naught.” “I am relieved”, I said, truthfully. “I was slightly concerned that some might take umbrage to being told their science is not up to specifications. I tried to be the bearer of that bad news but deliver it gently. Here, I find you need that to use that as a truncheon to smack one’s boss upside the head and tell him that an upgrade is required. And fast.” “Ah, so”, he replies, “We are in total agreement. Now that is out of the way, we would appreciate it if you’d help in designing a course of study for up and coming local geoscientists. Then, we can go forward with a great plan to search for oil and gas here in…Korea. Correct?” “Absolutely”, I remarked, “You’ve got over 400 man-years of science and exploration expertise here in this room alone. Let’s shoot for the moon, so to speak. Let’s get you up to speed on scientific journals and articles that are available out there in all of academia and industry. Let’s get you communicating on a global basis. Let’s prove that you can talk science with global scientists and still not have it affect your political or nationalistic aspirations one little bit. Let’s see if we can drag you, figuratively speaking, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.” “Doctor”, Dr. Chang remarked, “You are the embodiment of what we were always told what Americans are. Brash, loud, confident, and evil. Except for evil, you are American as we were led to believe.” “Hey, I take that as a compliment”, I exclaim. “You think that’s bad, I’ve got a bunch of earnest Europeans, raucous Russians, and a couple of cagey Canadians on my side as well. Before we’re finished here, we’ll have you ordering hachee, dining on Caldo Verde, snacking on salmiakki, drinking Russkaya vodka with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, eating poutine, and rooting for the Packers.” “Doctor, I don’t know what half of that means, but I hope it comes to pass. It sounds most fascinating.” Dr. Chang chuckles. The rest of the day was spent with various groups crystallizing and breaking off from the main crowd; then reforming as different groups. This was good, as it showed an interest across not only national borders but across ideologies and scientific specialties. Most everyone here spoke English with some degree of fluency, so the translators were called in only occasionally. I made certain they were included in everything that transpired that day. I want everyone to feel ‘part of the team’. How better to show the classlessness of Western science to include everyone in on both sides of every discussion and activity? To be continued…
30/7/20 Weekly GTA Online Bonuses + Meeting The New Moderators And Reviewing The Rules:
Here is the link to the weekly GTA Online Bonuses: Hi, it's your new neighborhood moderator u/7DeadlyFetishes, along with u/CausticPenguino, u/PapaXan, u/Dan6erbond, u/Tonan, u/Brooksy925, and u/LesterCrestBot! Over the pass few days we've been fine tuning the bot for faster and easier moderation, and taking a more active role in community content curation. We're making this announcement post both to introduce the new mods to the community but also outline the moderation discipline that we'll be enforcing, and we encourage you all to follow along so that our rules can be universally understood by all. The more informed you are on rules, and less likely your going to have to deal with us! Rule 1 - Overused Content And Content Relevancy From here on out Rule 1 will be the most strictly enforced rule, given that reason us mods were invited to join the team in the first place was the rapid amount of content flooding gtaonline, with most of those submissions relying on overused memes, discussions topics, and questions. Below is a list of common submissions and topics that are now banned from the discussion space on gtaonline, this list is vast and very broad right now given the state the of subreddit, but we'll probably unban and/or loosen our grip on memes and topics as time goes on, but that's only if users like you bring a new angle or discussion point when it comes to a particular subject. -Rule 1 Continued - Content Submissions That Will Result in Immediate Removal:
Any post with the topic of "Oppressor MKII."
-Discussions related to the Oppressor often fall into two camps, where one group likes it because it helps grinders, and the other group despise it for it's toxic nature. for two straight years that has been the discussion about the Oppressor, and we doubt that the range of conversation related to the vehicle is going to be expanding anytime soon.
Tryhards and/or Griefers are bad.
-Hating tryhards and greifers is equivalent to hating people who kick very small, fragile, cute animals. It's not a controversial position to dislike toxic individuals, and if anything, the relentless whining and complaining around these players only emboldens them more to just to get a reaction out of you chumps. This also extends to K/D ratio and EWO.
Rockstaservers/devs/business model is bad.
-If this subbreddit was developer supported like the likes of FortNiteBR, where the devs can talk and communicate with the community about ideas for the game or improving issues with the game, then this complaining wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately that is not the case, and whining about expensive prices for vehicles and properties is some secret plot to sell more Sharkcards is a reasonable observation but falls on deaf ears. No one at Rockstar is getting owned by your epic may-may about how the servers are trash, so save your breath and avoid the ban.
Unnamed youtuber who makes clickbait GTA Online videos is bad.
-Y'all know who I'm talking about, no amount of trolling, petitions, or stupid memes is going to make him go away. Most if not all of his base of viewers are not subscribed, they're casual watchers who probably are not deeply invested in GTA Online like the rest of us, so there's not much one can do to prevent him from accruing views besides NOT giving him any attention. Remember that there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Memes and discussions related to GTA 6.
-Let's get the record straight, while it's true that Rockstar sees the potential of GTA Online for the cash cow that it is; that doesn't necessarily correlate with the fact that GTA 6 hasn't been announced yet for the next generation. RDR2 was released just nearly 2 years ago, and game development is more complex then ever before. The reason why Rockstar was able to deliver yearly games was the fact that 3 of the 5 console releases of GTA were running on the same engine, from 2001. The GTA 6 discourse is less "discussion" and more "hate-jerking," therefore we see the topic as invaluable clutter discussion.
Miscellaneous overused memes.
-Finally in a list too large to cover in detail, here is an album of 30 unique images and submissions that have been circulated on the subreddit since it's inception. These memes are been beaten to death like our good friend Johnny Klebitz at the beginning of Trevor's story arc. A general rule of thumb for interested posters in our subreddit: If you see a gta meme on a platform that is not reddit, there's a 110% percent chance that meme has already been featured on gtaonline. -Rule 1 Continued - Discussion Topics And Ideas That Will be Removed Immediately: -Similar to the ban list above, many users on this subreddit love to engage in brain storming new ideas for the game, and while we actively encourage community engagement, this roundup of ideas and discussion topics have been done to death, and therefore we'll be seeking action to take them down.
"Rockstar should allow us to buy all our snacks at once."
-Won't happen.
"Rockstar should make a single player DLC for a 7 year old game."
-The Rockstar Games studio doens't have a big red flashing button on the wall that says, "Release GTA 5 Single Player DLC," content like that takes an entire studio to developm it's pipe dreams.
"Rockstar should finish construction of the Mile High Club."
-Many missions both in story mode and in online take place, under, inside, and on top of the tower, and while it wouldn't be impossible for Rockstar to remove these missions, the simple truth of the matter is that Rockstar wanted a construction set piece in Los Santos, it was never meant to be finished. Besides, in game story lore states that the tower wasn't being built fast enough because construction was purposely trying to get contract extensions to get more money out of the investors.
"Rockstar should increase Sharkcard payouts."
-Won't happen.
"Rockstar should change old missions payouts."
-Won't happen.
"Rockstar should sell police vehicles."
-Rockstar has stated multiple times that the what makes a GTA game a GTA game is the dynamic of criminal versus police, cops and robbers, and much less a cops and robbers DLC was explicitly stated by Rockstar to never happen because it conflicts with the core dynamic of the game.
"Rockstar should do map expansions."
-I'm unaware of how large GTA Online's dev team is; but it most certainly isn't large enough to add an entire fucking map to a 7 year old game, much less an online game. These are not realistic suggestions, it's all just the community hyping itself up for speculation, which is not valuable discussion.
"Rockstar should allow us to buy the nuclear sub/aircraft carrier."
-Fun ideas for sure, but these have been suggested multiple times, and will probably never occur.
"Rockstar should have a timer on the casino wheel."
-So help me god if one of you neanderthals suggest this fucking idea again i'll personally find you and rip off your head and shit down your neck. Either spin the wheel and remember when you spun it or not spin it at all because the sheer volume of these posts vastly surmount that of actual change on Rockstar's end of the bargain.
"Rockstar should make lobbies just for grinders/pvp etc."
-Rockstar has never even dabbled with servers dynamics before, what makes you think that they're going to change that now? In Summary of The Rule 1 Discipline -To round off the what the Mod Discipline will be for rule 1, if you don't want your posts removed or even for you to get banned, just use a little more brain power than what your using right now. There's plenty to talk about the game without having to conform to broad community topics. Rule 2 - Be Respectful -This is as simple as it comes, but it has to be stated, don't be a dick to other users on the subreddit. If for example you see someone posting a picture of the new car they won at the podium wheel, don't write a 5 paragraph essay on why they should have been aborted for posting their lucky break at the casino wheel. Instead, just report it and move on. And if you see anyone else giving another a hard time, do your duty and report toxic users, this is a safe community and we want to celebrate GTA Online for everyone, not scare people away for pedantic reasons. Rule 3 - Use Appropriate Flair -Use the correct flair, we never had a problem with it before, so lets keep it that way. Rule 4 - Use Descriptive Titles -Many of the posts that we have to moderate come in the form of questions, many of these question often lack any direction whatsoever, "Best Business?" or "How to do Casino Heist" leave lots to the imagination, and likewise people who are googling answers to their GTA Online inquiries also benefit from descriptive Reddit titles. In short, make good titles, otherwise your post is out. Rule 5 - Suggestion Posts -Suggestion posts must contain some initial discussion by the OP, preferably in the form of a text post. Images can be linked in the post content but cannot comprise the entirety of your post. "DAE want this vehicle" posts should be posted as comments in the Weekly Simple Question thread. Rule 6 - No Promotion of Cheating -Active promotion of cheating (the deliberate use of cheats, hacks, mods, exploits, glitches, and other methods to gain an unfair advantage over other players or at the expense of other players' right to a fair game experience) will result in a permanent ban. No asking for modded money or for help regarding cheating. Admissions of cheating may be removed at the moderators' discretion. Purely cosmetic glitches that do not affect other players are allowed. Rule 7 - No Heist Recruitment -Cream of the crop can be found here.
Rule 8 - Youtube Content -Read this post to understand what types of YouTube content are allowed to be posted. Rule 9 - "Looking For Players" Posts Should Include Relevant Information -LFP posts should include platform information, in-game name, timezone, and other information where applicable. Rule 10 - Questions Better Suited For The FAQ -Do not make a post just to ask questions about the following topics:
Best [thing] in the game/"Is [x] better or is [y] better?"
"DAE want to see [this] in the game?"
"A hacker did something to me, what do I do?"
In-game discounts and updates
How to use a vehicle, weapon, properties, or other core game functions
Questions about the game servers
Making money and leveling up
Any purchasing decision questions
These types of questions must be posted in the Weekly Question Thread. Rule 11 - Moderation Discretion -Moderators reserve the right to approve, remove, lock or otherwise deal with any post or comment at our discretion. Moderators reserve the right to ban users at our discretion. Rules are enforced according to their spirit and not their letter. Users are welcome to appeal moderator actions with respectful arguments, but moderators have the final say in how rules are interpreted and actions carried out. Closing Remarks -We have long road ahead of us, so if we're going to make the subreddit a better place it requires a strong mod/user relationship, as the moderators, we're going to use every tool at our disposal to make sure that all the content on the subreddit is informative and enjoyable, and you dear user have the responsibility of reporting questionable content and making quality posts. Together we can make this subreddit a better place, and with a new update over the horizon there's no other better place for information, memes and the community than gtaonline! -7DeadlyFetishes --oh yeah and the rest of the mods
GTA Online - Starting Over Since the release of GTA for free on the Epic Games store, the sub is filled with so many “how to make money” questions, so I thought I’d compile a guide, since the old one is heavily outdated. The first thing you see when loading onto Online for the first time is the tutorial. I skipped it for my first time as I already had some basic knowledge, but if you have never played a GTA game before, it’s worth it. And you get some decent rewards too. When loading into a session, you should spawn outside of the casino or nearby. Inside, is a lucky wheel which rewards players, once a day, with RP, cash, chips, mystery items and the Podium Vehicle, which you can find as you enter the Casino. Go to the Diamond Casino website on your phone and sign up (will cost 500$) to get access to the wheel, as well as 1000 chips per day to gamble, at your own risk. Note that the wheel is not available in some countries due to gambling laws. You may get lucky with the podium vehicle or money. RP is also useful, and may get you to level 7-8 depending on how much you get. Buy the cheapest 2 car garage and set it as your spawn location. From this point onwards, always play in Invite Only sessions. You won’t get blown up/griefed by anyone and is much more peaceful. A great starter car is the Annis Elegy RH8, which you can pick up for free from Legendary Motorsport if you link your Social Club account to your respective Xbox or PSN accounts (PC players get it for free automatically.) Store it in your garage and practice driving it around corners. A good bike is the Bati 801, which you can pick up from Southern San Andreas Super Autos for 15k. Your next point of action is to get money for weapons. You have 2 options here. One is to participate in the double or triple money events, ranging from races, jobs, adversary modes and businesses. If you are lucky and have a job with double money such as Contact Missions or Repo missions, grind these as much as you can while they’re double money. Once you have 50-100k from doing these, go to the nearest Ammu-Nation, and buy a Micro SMG, and Special Carbine, and attach both with extended magazines, and buy a Homing Launcher and maximum grenades and sticky bombs, as these can be useful in certain situations. Once you have these, your next step is to complete the various easter eggs, rewarding around $1 million, and plenty of RP too. There are many guides online which are useful, especially GTA Series Videos. The easter eggs you can do are the Maude Bounties, Los Santos Slasher and Treasure Hunt, each rewarding 250k, and the Signal Jammers and Action Figures, each rewarding 150k. You should also enable 2FA on your account to earn 500k. The next step is to buy a high-end apartment to unlock Heists. The cheapest and one of the best ones is Alta Street, costing a mere $200,000. Once you have done this, visit Lester (marked L on the map) and once you are Level 12, you can host The Fleeca Job. Use HeistTeams or the official GTA online Discord to find a partner for this. Upon completion, you will earn around 150k depending on cut, and the trade price for the Armored Kuruma, arguably one of the best vehicles for low level players, as it is pretty much bulletproof. Your next step is to afford a CEO office and enter the world of Vehicle Cargo, one of the best paying active businesses, and it is quite fun too. If you have the Criminal Enterprise Starter Pack, you will get the Maze Bank West CEO office for free, otherwise it costs $1 million. “How do I earn this?” you may ask. There is a feature in the game called VIP, which requires you to have 50k in your account. You can register as a VIP using the Interaction Menu. If you own a CEO office, you become a CEO instead, which is the same as a VIP, but you don’t have a cooldown. VIP jobs are fun and well paying, the best 2 ones are Headhunter and Sightseer, each paying 22-25k depending on how long it takes you. You should run these back to back, and rob a store/do a contact mission during the cooldown. Once you have enough for the CEO office, go to your computer in the office and buy a Vehicle Warehouse. The cheapest one is 1.5 million in La Mesa, which is the best price-performance one. It does have a gang hangout nearby so be careful when making the final turn into the warehouse as if you crash into them, they will shoot at you. With Vehicle Cargo, you must be in a Public Lobby, meaning with other people. There is a method for each console which allows you to get a “solo public lobby”, so you can do Vehicle Cargo and business sell missions stress-free. There is a general rule of thumb for Vehicle Cargo, never sell standard or mid range cars. If you source 10 standard and 10 mid range car and don’t sell any, you will only source top range cars. If you source the 4 slow top range cars (the Roosevelt Valor, Z-Type, Stirling GT or Mamba, store them in your warehouse, and you’ll only source cars which are fast. Overall then, here is the list of things, preferably in order, which are the most important to get:
2 Car Garage
Elegy RH8
Bati 801
Special Carbine
Micro SMG
Homing Launcher and other Explosives
Maze Bank West CEO office
High End Apartment
Armored Kuruma
La Mesa Vehicle Warehouse
Apart from that, everything else is completely up to you. If you want a challenge, you could go for the Criminal Mastermind, where you have to complete every heist and setup, on hard, with the same team, in order, without dying, rewarding 10 million dollars. If that’s too hard, try the Doomsday Heists (which requires a Facility) or the Casino Heist (which requires an Arcade). But most importantly, GTA is a game at the end of the day and just have fun :)
I need to vent. My blood is boiling. I apologize for the wall of text. TL;DR: The Diamond Casino Heist is awful, and you shouldn’t waste your time on it.
All of that work. All of that anger. For $300K. The Diamond Casino Heist is, in my mind, without a doubt, the worst heist in the game. By MILES. Hours of heist setups and work spent alone, because none of my friends actually play this fucking game, and the best the game can give is $300K. In my naïveté, I thought R* had given us content that would actually be fun. Upon realizing the game was tasking me with choosing the approach, choosing the crew, and choosing the supplies, I had thought they had given us a heist similar to that of the story mode - no random players to worry about. Just you, and a shit ton of bullet-sponge enemies to deal with. Well, I was half right. After selling my Oppressor MKII to buy some worthless shitstain of an arcade (because R* has to find a way to make you lose money in the long run, and their favourite option is to make you think you have to “spend money to make money” by buying some useless property - but instead, you’re just losing money), I was already $2 million in the hole. I was desperate for cash, and the casino heist seemed like it would be worth it. Boy, was I fucking wrong. For my weapons, I chose the SMG loadout. For the getaway cars, I (foolishly) chose the Drift Yosemite, because I was excited to drive an unreleased vehicle. That bullshit comes back to haunt me, just wait. I chose the Sneaky approach, so I had to drag my own ass through the manure that is the nano drone and laser drill setup missions. Both of these setups showed me just how bad the AI is in GTA. I already knew it was bad, but this was just unbelievable. Infinite cops spawning not even a block ahead of me, and don’t get me started on the fucking helicopters. It’s not hard to tell that the cops know where you are at all times, even when you’re in the cooldown period - by simply watching the minimap, they always seem to know exactly which side street you chose to escape, and once they find you, holy aimbot, Batman. After at least 7 attempts, I managed to finish all of the setups, and I was already red in the face. But I knew that it would be worth it. Ha. Nope. Why would R* ever think the player wants freedom, and to be left alone to deal with missions themselves? That would be anarchy. Of course the player wants to work with some random dude that probably doesn’t even own an arcade themselves, and is just tagging along. $2.1 million is the best possible take, even with the high-end buyers. I did the heist with one other person (which I know was stupid, but I didn’t know it would be as much of a mistake as it ended up being) in the hopes that I could get away with more money, but that didn’t make even the slightest difference. After entering the casino, you have to fight a ridiculous number of enemies, and like I said, I was half right when I made my predictions - as in the enemies are genuine bullet-sponges. My partner didn’t know what “Sneaky” actually meant, so they just ran in and started blasting. Rendering my approach absolutely pointless. Unless you get a perfect headshot, it takes between 4-10 bullets to kill each guard, which doesn’t sound terrible, but it gets to that point when you’re stuck in a small space with a mind-boggling number of doors and hiding spots that give the enemy a massive advantage if they pull the trigger first. After battling down to the basement for probably the third time, here comes quite possibly the stupidest part of the heist. The mantrap. Being a player that prefers independence, I don’t use my headset when playing, and having to rely on another sentient being to mirror my movements without any sort of communication is the stuff of nightmares. This part isn’t necessarily time-consuming, or difficult. It just doesn’t make any fucking SENSE. Why would they make this a crucial part of the heist, when 90% of players don’t even fucking TALK? After many deaths and a boat-load of enemies to take care of in between attempts at swiping a fucking keycard, we made it inside, and... ...it’s underwhelming. In most, if not all past heists, the game would just go through a few animations and you would hit the max take. But in this one, they require you to spam the ‘A’ button (or the equivalent button on other platforms) to clear off carts full of cash. Which doesn’t sound too bad - except each cart takes about 30 seconds to clear, and you get maybe 2 minutes to get in and get out before the nerve gas seeps in and kills you. It didn’t help that my teammate might’ve cleared off one cart before choosing to either go AFK, or just stand still, as I cleared two and waited for him to meet me at the mantrap to leave. The gas suddenly enters, and I turn my attention to the map. 5 seconds pass... ...he’s still in there. 15... ...still there. 25... he finally pops out, and we escaped with a measly $800K. Unsurprisingly, he crushes about four boxes of snacks while I’m staring at him, waiting to (yet again) swipe a pair of keycards in unison. We trudge back to the mantrap entrance, and we have to (AGAIN) battle some brainless, yet John Wick-like enemies to escape. We exit the casino, and... ...all hell breaks loose. FIVE ARMOURED TRUCKS blocking the parking lot alone, and about four more littered around the streets. More aimbot gods to deal with, and a few aggravating deaths to come to terms with. We reach the getaway cars, or in other words, the other worst part of the heist. As there are about 20 different possible getaway cars to choose from (four per possible crew member), few people will encounter this issue. Keep in mind, I chose the Drift Yosemite. On the plus side, it certainly drifts, unlike the disappointment that is the Drift Tampa. On the other hand, though, I’d stick metal pins under each of my toenails and kick cinder blocks before I drove those absolute piles in a heist again. My partner chose to ride shotgun with me instead of taking the extra truck, so having ALL of the gunfire trained on a single vehicle made things... less than simple. We made it to the Vinewood Hills before a pair of NOOSE Grangers pinned us against a wall while we were on our side. The bed of the truck was stuck in between the push bar on the SUV and the cement wall, similar to that of a fat kid stuck halfway through an elevator. With nowhere to go, the cops killed my teammate, and I just waited for the final pistol round to penetrate my stupid fucking emoji mask. We finally escaped the city on our third or fourth round, but with two blown tires, each on the right side of the vehicle, the already drift-prone Drift Yosemite just refused to go in a straight line. The high-end buyers were located underneath the massive bridge that led towards Paleto, and I had reached Fort Zancudo before I realized that the truck wouldn’t escape the cops on-road with two tires left, so we dived into the mountains as soon as we entered the police cooldown. After narrowly dodging a few cops, we FINALLY escaped, stole a street vehicle, and finished the mission. The final take? Just under $700K. And that was before Lester takes his cut, and your partners take theirs. My cut was 70%, and what did I get? $318,000. So if you include the price of the arcade that grants you access to this shitshow (I bought the one closest to the casino)... ...I made out with a loss of $1,557,000, plus some change. Fuck this update. Fuck R. And fuck me, for thinking I would actually have fun. It must be some sort of twisted type of Stockholm syndrome at this point - to continue to believe that R will do something that actually benefits the player, and to act surprised when they don’t. But to think that someday, it’ll change. It won’t. I don’t care if people call me retarded for making stupid choices or for being naive, and I don’t care if I get downvoted. I just. Don’t. Care. I’m done with GTA, for now. I’ll check to see what the podium car is, and what vehicles are added in the dripfeed. But there’s no way in hell I’m touching this heist with a 10 FT pole, from now on.
Make sure to pick up the Itali GTO from the Podium. Best sports car in terms of lap time performance and 2nd fastest sports car in terms of top speed. Also make sure to pick up the EMERUS. Very good supercar for racing,i would recommed this one more than the Entity XXR. If you wanna get around the map SAFELY in a public lobby,pick up the Nightshark and fully upgrade it. The Nightshark is able to survive more than 20 rockets meaning that Mk2s will struggle to take you out. Also make sure to NOT put on the heavy armour platings on the window: Reason for that being is that you wanna be able to throw sticky bombs. So if a mk2 is nearby,you can try to blow it up by throwing c4s. Most important thing to purchase this week is a bunker. The best location is the Chumash one but the one under the Prison is pretty close to the city too. Make sure you trade in your Paleto bunker with one at the city and also make sure to upgrade the staff and equipment! As for making money,it is recommended to take advantage of the 3x cash Bunker stock. Throw in something like a Casino Heist and you're good to go with making cash this week. [MAKE SURE TO SELL IN A MC WHEN HAVING PEOPLE TO HELP YOU. SINCE BUNKER STOCK IS 3X CASH,YOU WILL BE ABLE TO EARN UP TO 90K FOR HELPING SELLING A FULL BUNKER WHEN BEING IN A MC] Missile Base and Bunker gamemodes are 2x cash too but they are PvP only so if you aren't good at PvP,or don't have a good team,then don't even bother.
I have a ton of stories from my days of dealing in the underground clubs in New York. I now live in Vegas and work here full time in the poker industry. I often get asked by the players here in Vegas to tell some stories of my club days. Maybe poker will find it interesting as well. This all started in 2006. Fox's Club - 1.1 A bit of some background about me -- I basically grew up in the poker world. My grandmother was a playedealer decades ago (her boyfriend ran a large club in Queens, NY) and she started teaching me 7 Stud, 5-Card Draw Hi, and NL Hold'Em starting when I was 6 years old. We would play with a cheap Hoyle chipset she had purchased from the local grocery store. Occasionally, I even beat her — I’ll never be sure to this day if she let me win, but I’ll always hold those memories close. Poker was something we always did together and did often. It would be unusual to see my Grandma without a deck of cards on her. As I got older, my whole family would play together. When I reached middle and high school, I would host multi-table $20-$50 buy-in tournaments at my house and there would be about 40-50 of us at my house playing poker, socializing, eating, and doing what kids do. We were all terrible and had no idea what we were doing, but we were all having fun and little did I know it, but I was getting a taste of what was to come in terms of my career later on in life. When I hit 16 years old, a friend of mine from high school — Joey — who had gone off to college in Queens at St. John’s had come back home for the summer. He had been introduced to a very large and popular underground club in College Point, NY. At the time, he was making a regular income from playing small stakes MTT’s on Full Tilt instead of having a regular job during college, and naturally found his way into live poker. This was my first introduction to the underground poker world. In addition to playing online with him, I accompanied him and a couple of his college buddies one night to play $1/$3 NL at a live underground club. I was able to play because I had made some substantial money from running and eventually selling my own web hosting business while in high school. My other passion that I had started learning from a very young age was computer programming. I was coding in Visual Basic by 11 years old because a friend of my father’s, who was a software developer, had decided that I had shown some aptitude for the field and took an interest in mentoring me. I was lucky to have been given the opportunity of his time, teachings, books, etc. Anyway, off we went to Fox’s Club — Fox was the connected mob guy who owned the club. The game was protected and everyone knew it. It was a very social place. If you’ve ever been to an underground club, then you know that the quality of the customer service and experience can vary greatly from game to game. Fox’s game was the creme of the crop, it was absolutely top notch. It ran everyday, night and day. It was located in a large, multi-story industrial lot which sat right near a main intersection, which meant lots of traffic — a very good thing because the traffic to and from the game just blended in with the usual activity. When you pulled in, you could park anywhere you wanted out of the tens of dozens of spots. It didn’t matter where you parked anyway — I’ll get to why in a minute. Then, you would walk upstairs to the 2nd story to come stop in front of a giant steel door with a buzzer and several cameras positioned in front. When you rang the bell, they’d ask you who you were, you’d tell them how and who invited you, and in a minute or two you’d be buzzed in through the first steel door. After entering, you’d come to a second steel door with another camera positioned in front, which only opened from the inside. When you finally entered the room, it was gorgeous — clean, large, comfortable, and was equipped with everything you wanted in a club. A full-sized kitchen, multiple clean bathrooms (one even had a shower), a lounge area, a high limit room, waitresses, a bunch of large flat screen TV’s, and a smoking room among other things. The first thing you’d notice was that they had 6 high-quality poker tables paired with executive chairs, not including the one in the high-limit room. This club was spacious. As you walked in, a valet would ask for your keys and he would go fetch your vehicle and park it in an organized fashion amongst the others. You’d then make your way over to the podium and tell the floor which game you wanted to play — they usually had at least several games going — $1/$3, $2/$5, and $5/$10 NL and higher when it ran, but the much higher games were much more private. Strapped with $1,000 in cash on me, I request a seat in the $1/$3 game and eventually make my way onto the table. The max buy-in was $500, which I opted for because most stacks at the table were deep. It didn’t really matter anyway — this was my first time playing in an underground poker club and I was nervous as hell. I didn’t know how to act, was totally naive to my safety, I was 16 years old and I was clearly “the kid” in the club. I remember winning one of my first pots, and a mid-30’s Asian guy sitting next to me taps me on the shoulder. “Aren’t you going to tip the dealer?” “What do you mean? Are we supposed to do that?” “Of course, they work on tips. When you win a pot, toss them a buck, if it’s a big pot then maybe a redbird or two.” “Oh, uh… I see… I’m sorry, I didn’t know…” and I toss the dealer a buck. Over the course of the summer and playing there a dozen or so times, I began to take notice how much these dealers were making. Back then, in this particular club, dealers were well taken care of and I managed figure out that they were pulling in at least $1,000 per shift depending on their duties and how long they spent in the box. Some guys had multiple roles, would often spend time on the phone with players, some would work the cage area, some would floor other times, etc. The questioned then dawned upon me — why am I risking my money playing this game, when I could learn how to deal it and be guaranteed to make money without any risk? That was when I started to become friendly with Big Mike — one of the regular dealers. I wanted to deal and I wanted a job there… How was I going to make this happen? How could I pass up learning how to make $1k a night at a job that looked like it could be a lot of fun? To be continued… Fox’s Club — 1.2 Thinking about it now, the thought of a 16 year old kid wanting to learn how to deal poker in an underground club and actually turning out to be good at it… is just plain hilarious. But, I was determined to learn this skill, and even though I was a little naive about it, I made a promise to myself that I was going to study poker and poker dealing. When you’re that young, the problem is that your brain is not yet fully developed and no matter how mature and intelligent someone of that age can be, the fact remains that they have yet to gain “wisdom” — the kind which can only be acquired through time. I say this because I grossly underestimated the amount of time on the felt it really takes to become a solid, “A”-Dealer. But again, I had drive and determination to learn how to deal. I became friendly with Big Mike, got his phone number, and would text him whenever I wanted to come down to the club. I let him know that I wanted to learn how to deal and asked him how he learned. He told me that he had went to dealer school. I didn’t know such a thing existed. He wasn’t too enthusiastic about me learning how to deal, he said I was too young and didn’t know the game well enough yet. I came to the conclusion that Big Mike wasn’t going to help me, and sure enough, he never did in that regard. I kept him as a poker contact and would eventually be invited to other games and clubs by him, something that could be really helpful later on. With Big Mike not wanting to teach me, my plan was to go to Fox’s to play, and when I wasn’t in a hand I was going to study what the dealer was doing — what he did with his hands, how he shuffled, what he said, what he was constantly doing with the chips in his rack? This was how I discovered rake, by the way. I didn’t even know what rake was. At Fox’s, everybody paid $5 per half when the dealers would make their push. I thought that that was how they were making their money. What I didn’t know was that they were also taking a rake. There wasn’t a gator or dropbox for the rake. It didn’t sit out openly in front of the players as it does in casino card rooms. The dealer would quickly take out chips from the pot and they would go right into the well. Every half, the dealer that was pushing in would replace the well with the one they were carrying. The first time I saw the rake being taken, I was puzzled by what was happening and didn’t know what was going on. No-one else at the table ever seemed to say anything or even acknowledge it so I figured it must be okay. When I saw Big Mike go into the smoking lounge for his break, I got up from the table and went inside to ask him about it. He then educated me about rake and what it was. I was dumbfounded. This place must be making a sh*tload of money. 10% of the pot up to $25? I started to do the math on all the tables running, the time being taken every half hour, an average pot size for an average rake amount, and came up with an impressive number. Damn, what a lucrative business to be in. During the time I spent watching the dealer, I picked up lots of little things here and there, but ultimately just watching was not enough. I needed some proper instruction. I also knew I needed to learn how to “deal” the cards the way Big Mike did with that flick of his fingers — not knowing at the time that it was called “pitching the cards”. All of this information. All of these techniques. There must be some resources and information on poker dealing on the internet, right? I mean, if Big Mike went to a school that teaches how to deal poker, then there must be some info on where to go. I’d later on make a discovery that would make a huge impact on my life. So, I decided that moving forward, I was going to focus on getting better at the game while I spent my time at Fox’s. Maybe Big Mike was right. Maybe I didn’t know the game well enough yet. Instead of trying to learn how to deal there, I’ll just play the game and try and win as much money as I can. This didn’t turn out so well, however, as I was not yet a competent player. I had no live experience — I was very easy to read, made the mistake of engaging in table talk and failing at every verbal jousting I took part in, and I hadn’t yet been a real student of the game. I was learning the hard way through trial and error, which of course cost me tons of money. I didn’t always lose, because I wasn’t an idiot and was intelligent enough to realize that there actually is a skill component to this game. The Asian guy (from Part 1) in his mid 30’s, the one who politely taught me about tipping dealers, turned out to be a pretty cool guy. His name was Andy. When we first officially met, he asked me about which college I was going to and what major I was studying. “So, you in college? What are you studying?” “Actually, I’m still in high school. I haven’t decided yet which school I want to go to. I still have a couple of years left.” “What? How old are you, buddy?” “I’m 16, I’ll be 17 after the summer.” “So you can’t even drive, yet? Is that why you always come by with a friend?” “Yeah, I’m still saving up for a car. I think I’m gonna buy a used Mazda 6.” He was curious about where I was getting all of this money I had to play with at the tables. I told him about my computer background and web hosting business. He was impressed and I had earned his respect. He told me that he had initially thought that I was just another one of the college kids that came by to play — money from their parents, or playing with the extra college loan money that was left over and sent out as a check to students who got loans. We developed a kind of student-teacher relationship. He smoked a ton of cigarettes, and every time he did, I would join him in the smoking lounge and he would tell me his thoughts on how I played certain hands, point out mistakes I made, give me positive reinforcement on things I was doing correctly, pull me off the table when I would start to tilt, and overall just looked out for me. Andy was a very good player as well, judging by the fact that he consistently won and could always give me a logical reason and argument to why I should do things a certain way. Other people who tried to teach me the game would say things like “You should have raised on the turn”, and when I asked “Why?”, I would always get the same response — “Because you lost the hand”. That made no sense at all to me. That’s not an answer, it doesn’t answer the question at all. That’s just another way of saying that if I was a psychic and could predict the future, the way I could have won the hand was by knowing what the outcome was and making the right play. Andy would say things like “You should have raised on the turn”, and when I asked, “Why?” He would say things like “Well, why did you decide to call instead of raise? Did you even consider raising at all? Did you consider folding? What did you think he was betting into you with? You had a set of 9’s on a board that had one broadway card and two flush draws”. That was when I realized that I wasn’t even thinking much about what the other guys had, I was just playing my own cards and when I didn’t make hands, I would try and bluff, sometimes successfully and sometimes not so much. I was starting to learn the game from a thinking player’s perspective. Andy had been playing poker for a long time already and was an underground grinder. After graduating from college with a degree in finance, he got a job at some firm but eventually left to pursue poker. Between his investments and playing poker full time, that was how he made his income. He played in tons of games and clubs all around New York and was what you would call an underground pro. At the time, if you were a competent player, it was quite easy to make money in those games. There were tons of fish and people who would literally donate money. In the beginning, I was one of them. So were Joey and his college buddies. Joey was a decent online MTT player — skilled enough to consistently cash in small tournaments — but he wasn’t very good at playing cash games. Especially live cash games. He was too easy to read. So was I — absolutely awful at hiding tells, let alone knowing what those tells were. I remember one particular session at Fox’s where I was running like God. I had turned $500 into nearly $4,000. I was getting super lucky, super quickly. I’ll never forget this session as it was the first time I walked out of Fox’s with a huge wad of cash in my pocket. And it started off with the first hand I played that night. I always waited to play until I was in the big blind, something Andy advised me to do, as you couldn’t come in for free behind the button, not that I even knew what that was at the time. Forgive my recollection of this hand, it’s rough at best, it was over a decade ago, but it was the first time I saw how brutal poker could be. There was a raise to $15, a re-raise to $50, a call, another call, and I look down in the big blind at T9ss. I was still superstitious at the time and always played my first hand, no matter what it was. So I called and the original raiser called as well. 5 players. The flop comes TT9 with two clubs, and I check. There’s a bet of $150, then the next guy jams, the next guy also jams, another all-in, and at this point I remember thinking to myself — holy sh*t — I quickly call, so does the guy in front of me. I then turn my hand over. What does it matter? Everybody is all in, give me the money baby! Everyone else follows suit, and tables their holdings wondering what the hell is going on here. We’ve got a 5-way all-in, something I’d never seen before — AK of clubs, pocket aces, pocket 9’s, and QJ, which I’m fairly sure was suited. I’d be lying if I told you what happened after this point. My body was overflowing with adrenaline. The dealer does his work and the next thing I know I have $2.5k in front of me and some really pissed off people sitting next to me. As the session continues, within the next few orbits I manage to pick up pocket aces and pocket kings, stack two players, and it was at this point that I had around $4,000 in front of me. Like I said, running like God. Then, it happened. Thinking I was invincible, I re-raise a guy with 64o. The flop comes A44. The guy bets and I just go all-in, not knowing what else I could do. He then tanks for a minute, and says to me, “You’re really that lucky huh? You got that 4 don’t you?” I remember just smiling like a teenager who had just lost his virginity. “I don’t know what to tell you man, but yeah, I do. I have 64”, as I shook my head “yes”. “I believe you.” And the guy open mucks AK. I show him the 64. I get shipped the pot, and then Andy says to come join him in the smoking lounge. I didn’t smoke, but my Mother had for years so it didn’t bother me much. “Why in the hell did you tell that guy what you had? You need to learn how to act composed at the table.” “I didn’t know what else to do. It didn’t feel right lying to the guy.” “That’s because you’re a good kid. This is poker, buddy. You can’t ever feel bad about taking someone’s chips, or else you’ll never succeed at this game.” “Well what should I have done then? What should I have said?” “For now, the next time that happens, don’t say a word. Just stare at the board until the other player makes a decision. You’re clearly not capable of table talk, yet. If you feel like you have to respond and can’t ignore the other player any longer, then just use my line and then tell him it’s on him.” “What’s your line?” “Well, I can’t lose if you fold.” And I’ll never forget that line. I still use it sometimes to this day. You have to understand that this happened back when you could actually engage your opponent verbally when it was heads up. Now, you can’t discuss the contents of your hand whatsoever. That era has ended and table talk is not what it once was. In my opinion, I firmly believe that this particular change in poker was not a positive one. It made poker really fun and really interesting. It was a large contributor to the social element of the game. And it felt really, really, good when you would successfully talk your opponent into making the move you wanted them to make. Andy continued smoking his cigarette while telling me I should cash out and go home with a huge win. “How much more money do you really expect to make? You’re way too deep now in this game where everyone is going to start shoving on you. Trust me, cash out and hang out until your friend is done playing so you can go home.” “What else am I supposed to do? Isn’t everyone going to get mad that I’m leaving?” “Who cares? Sit at the table and fold everything except Aces or Kings for the next hour. If you pick up one of those hands, just go all-in. Trust me, you have nothing more to gain and only something to lose if you continue playing. For the next hour, just watch everyone else and how they play and what they showdown. You might learn something.” And that’s exactly what I did. I folded every hand for the next hour, then cashed out. While I was hanging out and railing Andy and my friend who I came with, I realized that I needed to buy a poker table and the same type of cards they were using at Fox’s — they used KEM bridge size, jumbo index. Something I had learned about from picking Big Mike’s brain. I figured this would be a perfect time to invest in a real poker table, considering that I just cashed out $4k. Maybe I could start having cash games at my house with my friends and deal the game to practice? I already hosted tournaments at my house regularly, but never thought about hosting a cash game. Would my friends even want to play a cash game? What stakes would it be? I still need to figure out how I’m going to learn how to deal. Hmm, I’ve got some thinking to do. To be continued… Next: Inside Underground NY Poker #2
In The Diamond Casino & Resort update for GTA Online players will notice a number of new ways to earn money and even cars. Inside the casino there is a daily prize wheel players can spin for a chance at winning the Podium Car. This post highlights the currently winnable Podium Car in GTA Online.Check it out below. Can't sell podium car? I won the podium car but i dont want it and intended to sell it. but it says i can only sell a car worht up to 50k. what happened? Showing 1 - 5 of 5 comments Make sure you spin the Lucky Wheel on the casino floor every day for a 1 in 20 chance to win the nearby podium vehicle, which has previously featured a new GTA Online casino car but at the time of The car in inside the casino on the podium is won by getting the car on the lucky wheel. Close. 15. Posted by u/[deleted] 1 year ago. Archived. The car in inside the casino on the podium is won by getting the car on the lucky wheel. Confirmed by rockstar it’s called the truffade thrax. usually the podium cars are worth zero, but as you upgrade them the value goes up. 1. You can sell most vehicles that you obtain/purchase. I don’t understand why you’re so surprised tbh aha-1. share. Report Save. level 2. Xbox One S (CEO of Jah Sucks Inc.) Original Poster 1 year ago. won a car at the casino but all garages was full i won a car at the casino and didn't know where to put it and the menu went away suddenly after a little moment of thinking, now i don't have the car. why can this happen to me Whether you want to buy a few used slot machines for your home or need to stock a casino, Slot Machines Unlimited can help. Furthermore, we carry machine parts, casino chairs, slot machine stands, signage and more. When you purchase from Slot Machines Unlimited, we strive to make sure your order meets your needs. I've won all the casino cars from the lucky wheel but I can't sell them. It gives me the vehicles worth up to $50,000 alert. iirc this alert pops up when a duped car is detected but I never tried to do any duplication glitch since I think they're too complicated. I ask this because my friends can sell their prize cars without a problem. Players can spin the Diamond Casino’s Lucky Wheel once each day, which offers some exciting prizes. One of the biggest prizes includes the top-of-line cars that are displayed on the podium every week. A win isn’t really guaranteed, however, you can still win something else. There is a one in 20 chance of winning an exotic podium car, a Diamond Casino is one of the most popular attractions in GTA Online. It has the Lucky Wheel that is situated in the center of the Casino. You can win the Podium Car in two ways: 1. By a tactic
How Much Can You Sell The Car You Win From The Wheel For ...
selling my existing Krieger then upgrading my new from the Lucky Wheel to find out what I get back in cash..this video was recorded and edited by Javnutee Ga... Rockstar Support InfoSubmit a Request (Email Support)- https://support.rockstargames.com/hc/en-us/requests/new Phone Support- America- (866) 362-8280 Canada-... How To Win The Lucky Wheel Podium Car EVERY SINGLE TIME In GTA 5 Online! (UPDATED 2020) Cheap GTA 5 Shark Cards & More Games: https://www.g2a.com/r/mrbossftw... SUBSCRIBER GOAL 125,000 SUPPORT THE CHANNEL: DROP A LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE!!!Membership:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9C95npo2PgAg1f_Zy3HdBQ/joinDon... Selling the Casino Car - How Much?What a shambles!!!Please feel free to SUBSCRIBE to my channel to be sure not to miss out.I am the sole owner of all footage... GTA 5 How To Get The Car In The Casino / How To Win The Car (Podium Car) in this "GTA 5" video: GTA 5 How To WIN The Podium Car (GTA V Online Casino Podium V... #gta5 #GTAONLINE Well, won another car i already had so had to see, if selling the one you had and building the new one to spec, will you make money or loose... HOW TO SELL YOUR MOBILE OPERATIONS CENTER IN GTA 5 ONLINE CREATE A REQUEST WITH ROCKSTAR GAMES (SIGN IN WITH SOCIAL CLUB): https://support.rockstargames.com/... GTA Online Stealing and Selling Cars Quick Money Guide Make Easy Cash by Filling Your GarageThis is a quick and easy money guide on stealing and selling ca... GTA Online Casino Update - All 150+ Items from the MYSTERY REWARD on the Lucky WheelShark Card Giveawayhttps://twitter.com/Dat_Saintsfan/status/1154849377111...
